1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,000 2 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,000 3 00:00:33,941 --> 00:00:39,655 There's a bunch of birds in the sky 4 00:00:39,905 --> 00:00:45,453 And some deers just went running by 5 00:00:45,703 --> 00:00:48,456 Oh, the snow's pure and white 6 00:00:48,706 --> 00:00:53,252 On the earth rich and brown 7 00:00:53,502 --> 00:00:56,463 Just another Sunday morning 8 00:00:56,714 --> 00:01:03,179 In my quiet mountain town 9 00:01:05,139 --> 00:01:07,308 The sun is shining And the grass is green 10 00:01:07,558 --> 00:01:09,518 Under the three feet of snow I mean 11 00:01:09,768 --> 00:01:13,105 This is the day When it's hard to wear a frown 12 00:01:13,355 --> 00:01:15,399 All the happy people stop To say hello 13 00:01:15,649 --> 00:01:18,319 - Out of my way! - Even though the temperature's low 14 00:01:18,569 --> 00:01:20,613 It's a perfect Sunday morning 15 00:01:20,863 --> 00:01:23,073 In my quiet mountain town 16 00:01:23,324 --> 00:01:24,825 Well, good morning, Stan. 17 00:01:25,075 --> 00:01:27,161 - Mom, can I have $8 to see a movie? - A movie? 18 00:01:27,411 --> 00:01:30,206 It'll be the best movie ever. A foreign film from Canada. 19 00:01:30,456 --> 00:01:34,168 - All right. But be back for supper. - Thanks, Mom. 20 00:01:34,418 --> 00:01:36,337 Oh, what a picture-perfect child 21 00:01:36,587 --> 00:01:38,631 Just like Jesus he's tender and mild 22 00:01:38,881 --> 00:01:42,301 He'd wear a smile While he wore a thorny crown 23 00:01:42,551 --> 00:01:44,887 What an angel with a heart So sweet and sure 24 00:01:45,137 --> 00:01:47,306 And a mind so open and pure 25 00:01:47,556 --> 00:01:51,977 Thank God we live In this quiet redneck mountain town 26 00:01:52,227 --> 00:01:55,773 Dude! Dude, wake up! 27 00:01:57,274 --> 00:01:58,818 Kenny, come on! 28 00:01:58,819 --> 00:02:00,068 (Coming!) 29 00:02:00,069 --> 00:02:02,906 The Terrance and Phillip movie is out. You wanna come? 30 00:02:02,907 --> 00:02:04,155 (Yeah, dude. Come on, let's go) 31 00:02:04,156 --> 00:02:05,784 Where do you think you're going? 32 00:02:05,785 --> 00:02:07,318 (To the Terrance and Phillip movie.) 33 00:02:07,319 --> 00:02:09,162 You can't. You have to go to church! 34 00:02:09,163 --> 00:02:10,411 (But Mom, I wanna see this movie!) 35 00:02:10,412 --> 00:02:12,706 Well, fine. Go ahead and miss church. 36 00:02:12,957 --> 00:02:17,586 When you die and go to hell, you can answer to Satan! 37 00:02:17,586 --> 00:02:18,040 (...Okay.) 38 00:02:18,379 --> 00:02:20,130 You can see your breath Hanging in the air 39 00:02:20,381 --> 00:02:22,424 You see homeless people But you just don't care 40 00:02:22,675 --> 00:02:26,271 It's a sea of smiles In which we'd be glad to drown 41 00:02:26,272 --> 00:02:30,690 (Don't you know? It's like a perfect winter day And that I'm glad I can say) 42 00:02:30,891 --> 00:02:32,476 That's right! It's Sunday morning 43 00:02:32,726 --> 00:02:38,023 In our quiet little White-bread redneck mountain town 44 00:02:38,524 --> 00:02:41,068 - Ready, Ike? Kick the baby! - Don't kick the baby. 45 00:02:41,318 --> 00:02:43,654 Kick the baby. 46 00:02:43,904 --> 00:02:48,617 Ike, you broke another window! That's a bad baby. Bad baby! 47 00:02:48,867 --> 00:02:51,286 We're going to the Terrance and Phillip movie. 48 00:02:51,537 --> 00:02:52,454 Oh, my God! 49 00:02:52,705 --> 00:02:54,373 Kyle, where are you going? 50 00:02:54,623 --> 00:02:57,126 - We're going ice-skating. - Take your brother. 51 00:02:57,376 --> 00:02:59,461 He's not even my real brother. He's adopted. 52 00:02:59,712 --> 00:03:00,671 Do as I say! 53 00:03:00,921 --> 00:03:03,632 Okay, I'm sorry. 54 00:03:04,091 --> 00:03:06,135 Look at those frail and fragile boys 55 00:03:06,385 --> 00:03:08,512 It really gets me down 56 00:03:08,762 --> 00:03:12,766 The world is such a rotten place And city life's a complete disgrace 57 00:03:13,016 --> 00:03:15,310 That's why I moved to This redneck "meshuggenah" 58 00:03:15,561 --> 00:03:20,983 Quiet mountain town 59 00:03:21,233 --> 00:03:23,485 Ike! Bad baby! 60 00:03:23,736 --> 00:03:25,404 Brought to you by Snacky Smores... 61 00:03:25,654 --> 00:03:27,614 ...the fun of s'mores in a cookie. 62 00:03:27,865 --> 00:03:29,491 Mom, somebody's at the door! 63 00:03:29,741 --> 00:03:32,077 - Coming, hon. - I can't see the TV! 64 00:03:32,327 --> 00:03:35,539 It's been six weeks since Saddam Hussein was killed by wild boars... 65 00:03:35,789 --> 00:03:37,499 ...and the world is glad to be rid of him. 66 00:03:37,749 --> 00:03:40,335 Eric, it's your little friends. 67 00:03:40,586 --> 00:03:43,213 What are you doing here? 68 00:03:43,248 --> 00:03:45,507 Sweet, dude. Yes! 69 00:03:45,757 --> 00:03:48,260 Off to the movies we shall go 70 00:03:48,510 --> 00:03:50,846 Where we learn everything That we know 71 00:03:51,096 --> 00:03:54,975 'Cause the movies teach us What our parents don't have time to say 72 00:03:55,225 --> 00:03:57,936 And this movie's gonna Make our lives complete 73 00:03:58,187 --> 00:04:01,648 - 'Cause Terrance and Phillip are sweet - Super sweet. 74 00:04:01,899 --> 00:04:06,028 Thank God we live in the quiet little Redneck Podunk white trash 75 00:04:06,029 --> 00:04:06,777 (Kenny!) 76 00:04:06,778 --> 00:04:11,033 U.S.A. 77 00:04:11,283 --> 00:04:14,745 Can I have five tickets to Terrance and Phillip "Asses of Fire"? 78 00:04:14,995 --> 00:04:17,789 No. 79 00:04:18,165 --> 00:04:18,999 What do you mean? 80 00:04:19,249 --> 00:04:23,003 "Asses of Fire" is rated R by the Motion Picture Association of America. 81 00:04:23,253 --> 00:04:25,380 You must be accompanied by a parent or guardian. 82 00:04:25,631 --> 00:04:27,758 - Why? - This movie has naughty language! 83 00:04:28,008 --> 00:04:30,052 Next, please. 84 00:04:30,302 --> 00:04:32,596 - This can't be happening. - We have to see it. 85 00:04:32,846 --> 00:04:34,848 Screw it. It probably isn't good anyway. 86 00:04:35,098 --> 00:04:37,434 Cartman, what do you mean? You love Terrance and Phillip. 87 00:04:37,684 --> 00:04:40,979 But the animation's all crappy. 88 00:04:42,022 --> 00:04:43,941 Wait. I've got an idea. 89 00:04:44,191 --> 00:04:47,152 Hi. I want six tickets to "Asses of Fire". 90 00:04:47,402 --> 00:04:49,529 This movie may not be appropriate for the little ones. 91 00:04:49,780 --> 00:04:51,949 He says this movie isn't appropriate for you. 92 00:04:52,199 --> 00:04:54,701 Mr. Homeless Guy, if you don't want $10... 93 00:04:54,952 --> 00:04:57,120 ...to buy a bottle of vodka, then be my guest. 94 00:04:57,371 --> 00:05:00,040 Six tickets, please. 95 00:05:02,334 --> 00:05:04,336 - Let me have some candy. - Let's see. 96 00:05:04,586 --> 00:05:06,088 I don't have any Jewish candy. 97 00:05:06,338 --> 00:05:09,007 Like you need all that chocolate, fat boy! 98 00:05:09,258 --> 00:05:11,927 The movie's starting. 99 00:05:15,430 --> 00:05:16,223 Hooray! 100 00:05:16,473 --> 00:05:20,060 Terrance, what did the Spanish priest say to the Iranian gynecologist? 101 00:05:20,310 --> 00:05:23,271 I don't know, Phillip. What? 102 00:05:24,731 --> 00:05:26,149 Where do they find this stuff? 103 00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:28,860 You're such a pig-fucker, Phillip. 104 00:05:29,111 --> 00:05:29,903 What did he say? 105 00:05:30,153 --> 00:05:31,780 Why'd you call me a pig-fucker? 106 00:05:32,030 --> 00:05:34,950 Well, let's see. First of all, you fuck pigs. 107 00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:36,910 Oh, yeah. 108 00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:41,039 Well, fuck my ass and call me a bitch. 109 00:05:41,074 --> 00:05:43,583 You shit-faced cockmaster. 110 00:05:43,834 --> 00:05:45,460 "Shit-faced cockmaster. " 111 00:05:45,711 --> 00:05:47,170 You donkey-raping shit-eater. 112 00:05:47,421 --> 00:05:50,007 "Donkey-raping shit-eater. " 113 00:05:50,632 --> 00:05:54,052 - You'd fuck your uncle! - You'd fuck your uncle! 114 00:05:54,302 --> 00:05:56,471 Shut your fucking face Uncle fucker 115 00:05:56,722 --> 00:05:59,433 You're a cocksucking Ass-licking uncle-fucker 116 00:05:59,683 --> 00:06:02,644 Yes, it's true Nobody fucks uncles quite like you 117 00:06:02,894 --> 00:06:04,980 Shut your fucking face Uncle fucker 118 00:06:05,230 --> 00:06:07,858 You're the one that fucked your uncle Uncle fucker 119 00:06:08,108 --> 00:06:12,779 You don't eat or mow the lawn You fuck your uncle all day long 120 00:06:22,789 --> 00:06:25,917 What's going on here? 121 00:06:27,169 --> 00:06:31,089 - What garbage. - What do you expect? They're Canadian. 122 00:06:39,681 --> 00:06:41,558 Shut your fucking face Uncle fucker 123 00:06:41,808 --> 00:06:44,352 You're a boner-biting bastard Uncle fucker 124 00:06:44,603 --> 00:06:48,023 - You're an uncle-fucker I must say - You fucked your uncle yesterday 125 00:06:48,273 --> 00:06:52,486 Uncle fucker That's U-N-C-L-E fuck you 126 00:06:52,736 --> 00:06:54,696 Uncle fucker 127 00:06:54,946 --> 00:06:57,324 Suck my balls. 128 00:07:00,285 --> 00:07:03,830 - That movie was fucking sweet! - You bet your fucking ass it was! 129 00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:05,707 Fuck, I wanna be just like them. 130 00:07:05,957 --> 00:07:08,293 Wait, where's your guardian? 131 00:07:08,543 --> 00:07:12,380 I knew it! You paid a homeless guy to get you in, didn't you? 132 00:07:12,631 --> 00:07:15,342 Fuck off, you donkey-raping shit-eater. 133 00:07:15,592 --> 00:07:18,220 Shut your fucking face Uncle fucker 134 00:07:18,470 --> 00:07:22,849 You're an ass-licking Ball-sucking uncle-fucker 135 00:07:30,106 --> 00:07:31,525 Where have you been all day? 136 00:07:31,775 --> 00:07:36,279 Nowhere. We just went to go see the Terrance and Phillip movie. 137 00:07:36,613 --> 00:07:37,531 How'd you get in? 138 00:07:37,781 --> 00:07:41,743 Stop crowding us, shit-faced cockmasters! 139 00:07:41,826 --> 00:07:45,539 You're all ass-ramming uncle-fuckers. 140 00:07:45,705 --> 00:07:46,915 We've got to see this movie. 141 00:07:47,165 --> 00:07:51,044 Terrance and Phillip are Canadian, just like my brother. 142 00:07:52,963 --> 00:07:54,631 There's the girl that I like 143 00:07:54,881 --> 00:07:58,593 Tell about when Terrance called Phillip a testicle-shitting rectal wart. 144 00:07:58,843 --> 00:08:00,095 Now more than ever 145 00:08:00,345 --> 00:08:02,013 She gives me butterflies 146 00:08:02,264 --> 00:08:05,850 It makes my stomach queasy Every time she walks by 147 00:08:06,101 --> 00:08:07,477 Asshole, I'm talking to you. 148 00:08:07,727 --> 00:08:11,982 I know I can be cool If I try 149 00:08:12,732 --> 00:08:14,734 Gross! 150 00:08:14,985 --> 00:08:17,696 Wendy, let us try to jump the hilly brush. 151 00:08:17,946 --> 00:08:18,947 Who are you? 152 00:08:19,197 --> 00:08:23,076 Gregory. I transferred from Yardale, where I had a 4.0 grade point average. 153 00:08:23,326 --> 00:08:24,369 Want to skate with us? 154 00:08:24,619 --> 00:08:28,415 We've been skating all morning, laughing and talking of memories past. 155 00:08:28,665 --> 00:08:31,334 We saw the Terrance and Phillip movie. 156 00:08:31,584 --> 00:08:34,421 Try and catch me, Wendy. 157 00:08:34,587 --> 00:08:37,590 Bye, Stan. 158 00:08:40,552 --> 00:08:43,680 I saw the Terrance and Phillip movie. Who wants to touch me? 159 00:08:43,930 --> 00:08:47,267 I said, who wants to fucking touch me? 160 00:08:47,892 --> 00:08:51,980 We gotta see the Terrance and Phillip movie too. 161 00:08:54,024 --> 00:08:57,277 I hate you, Kenny. 162 00:09:01,364 --> 00:09:02,741 Shut your fucking face Uncle fucker 163 00:09:02,991 --> 00:09:06,578 You're a boner-biting bastard Uncle fucker 164 00:09:06,828 --> 00:09:08,955 Okay, children, let's take our seats. 165 00:09:09,205 --> 00:09:11,166 We have a lot to learn today. 166 00:09:11,416 --> 00:09:13,334 We sure do, Mr. Hat. 167 00:09:13,585 --> 00:09:16,504 Let's start the day with a few new math problems. 168 00:09:16,755 --> 00:09:20,258 What is five times two? 169 00:09:20,341 --> 00:09:23,720 Don't be shy. Just give it your best shot. 170 00:09:23,970 --> 00:09:25,388 - Yes, Clyde. - Twelve? 171 00:09:25,638 --> 00:09:29,434 Now let's get an answer from someone who's not a complete retard. 172 00:09:29,684 --> 00:09:32,020 Anyone? Come on, don't be shy. 173 00:09:32,270 --> 00:09:34,439 I think I know the answer, Mr. Garrison. 174 00:09:34,689 --> 00:09:37,400 - Shut up, fat boy! - Don't call me fat, you fucking Jew! 175 00:09:37,650 --> 00:09:40,612 - Eric! Did you just say the F-word? - "Jew"? 176 00:09:40,862 --> 00:09:43,823 You can't say "fuck" in school, you fucking fat ass. 177 00:09:44,073 --> 00:09:45,450 Why the fuck not? 178 00:09:45,700 --> 00:09:47,144 You said "fuck" again. 179 00:09:47,664 --> 00:09:48,144 (Fuck!) 180 00:09:48,745 --> 00:09:51,539 What's the big deal? It doesn't hurt anybody. Fuck, fuckitty, fuck. 181 00:09:51,790 --> 00:09:54,000 How would you like to go see the counselor? 182 00:09:54,250 --> 00:09:57,170 How would you like to suck my balls? 183 00:09:57,420 --> 00:09:58,880 What did you say?! 184 00:09:59,130 --> 00:10:02,884 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Actually, what I said was... 185 00:10:03,134 --> 00:10:08,848 ..."How would you like to suck my balls, Mr. Garrison?" 186 00:10:09,098 --> 00:10:11,726 Holy shit, dude. 187 00:10:13,144 --> 00:10:17,273 I'm disappointed in you boys. You should be ashamed of yourselves. 188 00:10:17,524 --> 00:10:19,234 I've called in your mothers... 189 00:10:19,484 --> 00:10:20,902 - You called my mom? - That's right. 190 00:10:21,152 --> 00:10:22,237 Oh, no, dude! 191 00:10:22,487 --> 00:10:24,906 - Mr. Mackey, can I ask a question? - M'kay, what? 192 00:10:25,156 --> 00:10:27,283 What's the big fucking deal? 193 00:10:27,534 --> 00:10:31,120 I want to know where you heard these horrific obscenities, m'kay? 194 00:10:31,371 --> 00:10:35,083 - Nowhere. - We heard them from Mr. Garrison before. 195 00:10:35,333 --> 00:10:37,835 I seriously doubt that Mr. Garrison ever said... 196 00:10:38,086 --> 00:10:41,798 ..."Eat penguin shit, you ass-spelunker. " 197 00:10:42,048 --> 00:10:44,551 Sweet. 198 00:10:47,971 --> 00:10:49,889 Thank you for coming on short notice. 199 00:10:50,139 --> 00:10:51,349 This isn't like you, Stanley. 200 00:10:51,599 --> 00:10:54,852 What did my son say, Mr. Mackey? Did he say the S-word? 201 00:10:55,103 --> 00:10:56,646 No, it was worse than that. 202 00:10:56,896 --> 00:10:57,814 The F-word? 203 00:10:58,064 --> 00:11:01,276 Here's a short list of the things they've been saying. 204 00:11:01,526 --> 00:11:04,070 - Oh, dear God. - What the heck is a rim job? 205 00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:10,201 When you put your legs behind your head and have someone lick your ass. 206 00:11:10,243 --> 00:11:15,707 Tell Mr. Mackey this instant where you heard all these horrible phrases! 207 00:11:15,957 --> 00:11:18,251 We all swore ourselves to secrecy. 208 00:11:18,501 --> 00:11:20,086 - The Terrance and Phillip movie. - Dude! 209 00:11:20,336 --> 00:11:21,796 I wanna get out of here. 210 00:11:22,046 --> 00:11:23,965 Terrance and Phillip? Those Canadians? 211 00:11:24,215 --> 00:11:26,134 Excuse me. What is Terrance and Phillip? 212 00:11:26,384 --> 00:11:29,637 Terrance and Phillip are two very untalented actors from Canada. 213 00:11:29,887 --> 00:11:32,181 Nothing but foul language and toilet humor! 214 00:11:32,432 --> 00:11:36,769 I'll send a warning to parents before more children see Terrance and Phillip. 215 00:11:37,020 --> 00:11:38,563 Everybody's fucking seen it. 216 00:11:38,813 --> 00:11:43,776 I can't help myself. That movie has warped my fragile little mind. 217 00:11:49,532 --> 00:11:53,077 There's the girl that I like 218 00:11:53,369 --> 00:11:55,997 Over there laughing with that smart... 219 00:11:56,247 --> 00:11:59,375 You're holding up the goddamn lunch line! 220 00:11:59,625 --> 00:12:01,294 Hello, there, children. 221 00:12:01,544 --> 00:12:02,837 - Hey, Chef. - How's it going? 222 00:12:03,087 --> 00:12:04,172 - Bad. - Why bad? 223 00:12:04,422 --> 00:12:07,884 We got busted for swearing. We can't ever see that movie again. 224 00:12:08,134 --> 00:12:09,010 That's too bad. 225 00:12:09,260 --> 00:12:11,888 You should've seen Kyle when his mom showed up. He was scared. 226 00:12:12,138 --> 00:12:15,183 - Shut up, Cartman! - I'd be scared. Your mom's a bitch. 227 00:12:15,433 --> 00:12:16,976 Don't call her a bitch, you fat fuck! 228 00:12:17,226 --> 00:12:19,020 Don't call me fat, you fucking son of a bitch! 229 00:12:19,270 --> 00:12:21,689 Where did you learn to talk like that? 230 00:12:21,939 --> 00:12:23,191 Pretty fucking sweet, huh? 231 00:12:23,441 --> 00:12:26,402 How do you make a woman like you more than any other guy? 232 00:12:26,652 --> 00:12:30,782 That's easy. You just gotta find the clitoris. 233 00:12:31,074 --> 00:12:32,533 What does "find the clitoris" mean? 234 00:12:32,784 --> 00:12:34,202 Forget I said anything. 235 00:12:34,452 --> 00:12:36,370 Move along. You're holding up the line. 236 00:12:36,621 --> 00:12:38,790 Do you know where I can find the clitoris? 237 00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:41,209 - The what? - Is that like finding Jesus? 238 00:12:41,459 --> 00:12:42,794 Attention, students. 239 00:12:43,044 --> 00:12:45,963 We are now enforcing a new dress code at South Park Elementary. 240 00:12:46,214 --> 00:12:48,716 Terrance and Phillip shirts are not allowed in school. 241 00:12:48,966 --> 00:12:53,805 Anyone wearing a Terrance and Phillip shirt is to be sent home immediately. 242 00:12:54,055 --> 00:12:57,058 Hooray! 243 00:12:59,977 --> 00:13:03,356 The Canadian film "Asses of Fire" is number one at the box office. 244 00:13:03,606 --> 00:13:05,399 Is the film destroying American youth? 245 00:13:05,650 --> 00:13:08,069 Here with a special report is a midget in a bikini. 246 00:13:08,319 --> 00:13:11,906 The effects of the Canadian comedy are far-reaching indeed. 247 00:13:12,156 --> 00:13:16,536 All over America, children seem to be influenced, like at this spelling bee. 248 00:13:16,786 --> 00:13:18,830 This is for the silver medal. 249 00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:21,040 Spell "forensics". 250 00:13:21,290 --> 00:13:24,627 Why should I fucking have to spell "forensics"? 251 00:13:24,877 --> 00:13:27,964 Here you go. S-U-C-K-M-Y-A-S-S. 252 00:13:28,214 --> 00:13:29,465 Forensics. 253 00:13:29,715 --> 00:13:33,761 The devastating impact of the duo can also be seen with their hit song... 254 00:13:34,011 --> 00:13:36,264 ..."Shut Your Fucking Face, Uncle Fucker. " 255 00:13:36,514 --> 00:13:38,850 Shut your fucking face Uncle fucker 256 00:13:39,100 --> 00:13:42,728 You're a boner-biting bastard Uncle fucker 257 00:13:42,979 --> 00:13:44,564 I told you that we won't stop 258 00:13:44,814 --> 00:13:46,274 I told you that we won't stop 259 00:13:46,524 --> 00:13:47,567 Back to you, Tom. 260 00:13:47,817 --> 00:13:49,151 Thanks. Shocking report. 261 00:13:49,402 --> 00:13:51,779 The controversy began in the town of South Park... 262 00:13:52,029 --> 00:13:54,282 ...where the PTA is trying to ban the movie. 263 00:13:54,532 --> 00:13:58,202 With us tonight is the head of the PTA, Sheila Broflovski. 264 00:13:58,452 --> 00:14:01,122 - And the Canadian minister of movies. - Thanks for having me. 265 00:14:01,372 --> 00:14:04,875 Parents are concerned about your country's entertainment. 266 00:14:05,126 --> 00:14:07,003 The film isn't intended for children... 267 00:14:07,253 --> 00:14:09,088 But of course children will see it. 268 00:14:09,338 --> 00:14:12,008 Can I finish? We're surprised by your outrage. 269 00:14:12,258 --> 00:14:14,927 - You just don't care! - Can I finish? Hello? 270 00:14:15,177 --> 00:14:17,722 The U.S. has graphic violence on TV all the time. 271 00:14:17,972 --> 00:14:20,308 We can't believe a movie with foul language pisses you off. 272 00:14:20,558 --> 00:14:22,435 - Because it's evil! - Can I finish?! 273 00:14:22,685 --> 00:14:25,146 Please can I finish?! 274 00:14:25,396 --> 00:14:26,439 Okay, I'm finished. 275 00:14:26,689 --> 00:14:30,151 This film isn't the first troublesome thing to come out of Canada. 276 00:14:30,401 --> 00:14:31,777 Let's not forget Bryan Adams. 277 00:14:32,028 --> 00:14:34,864 Our government's apologized for Bryan Adams on several occasions. 278 00:14:35,114 --> 00:14:38,909 You Canadians are all the same, with your beady eyes and flapping heads. 279 00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:40,745 I resent that! I find that racist... 280 00:14:40,995 --> 00:14:43,205 Our children are now addicted to your puke! 281 00:14:43,456 --> 00:14:44,457 You are a racist! 282 00:14:44,707 --> 00:14:51,172 It'll take us weeks to erase the damage this film has done to our children. 283 00:14:52,048 --> 00:14:55,676 Kids, I want to welcome you to rehabilitation, m'kay? 284 00:14:55,926 --> 00:14:58,471 Your mothers insisted you be taken from your schoolwork... 285 00:14:58,721 --> 00:15:01,223 ...and placed into rehab to learn not to swear. 286 00:15:01,474 --> 00:15:03,017 I don't belong with these rogues. 287 00:15:03,267 --> 00:15:05,811 I attended Yardale and had a 4.0 grade point average. 288 00:15:06,062 --> 00:15:08,481 - You're a fucking faggot. - M'kay, you see? 289 00:15:08,731 --> 00:15:12,777 This is what I'm talking about. We have to get you off of foul language. 290 00:15:13,027 --> 00:15:15,613 - How are we gonna do that? - Listen here. 291 00:15:15,863 --> 00:15:18,532 There are times when you get Suckered in 292 00:15:18,783 --> 00:15:22,203 By drugs and alcohol And sex with women, m'kay? 293 00:15:22,453 --> 00:15:24,747 But it's when you Do these things too much 294 00:15:24,997 --> 00:15:29,877 That you've become an addict And must get back in touch 295 00:15:30,127 --> 00:15:33,631 You can do it It's all up to you, m'kay 296 00:15:33,881 --> 00:15:37,510 With a little plan You can change your life today 297 00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:39,970 Don't spend your life Addicted to smack 298 00:15:40,221 --> 00:15:42,014 Homeless Giving handjobs for crack 299 00:15:42,264 --> 00:15:46,018 Follow my plan And very soon you will say 300 00:15:46,268 --> 00:15:48,312 It's easy, m'kay 301 00:15:48,562 --> 00:15:49,980 Instead of "ass" say "buns" 302 00:15:50,231 --> 00:15:52,483 Like "Kiss my buns" Or "You're a buns-hole" 303 00:15:52,733 --> 00:15:54,151 Instead of "shit" say "poo" 304 00:15:54,401 --> 00:15:56,654 As in "bull poo", "poo-head" And "This poo is cold" 305 00:15:56,904 --> 00:15:58,239 With "bitch" drop the "T" 306 00:15:58,489 --> 00:16:00,908 'Cause "bich" is Latin For generosity 307 00:16:01,158 --> 00:16:02,284 Don't say "fuck" anymore 308 00:16:02,535 --> 00:16:04,787 'Cause "fuck" is the worst word That you can say 309 00:16:05,037 --> 00:16:07,081 So just use the word "m'kay" 310 00:16:07,331 --> 00:16:10,876 We can do it It's all up to us, m'kay 311 00:16:11,127 --> 00:16:13,212 With a little plan We can change our lives today 312 00:16:13,462 --> 00:16:14,922 You can change it today 313 00:16:15,172 --> 00:16:17,341 Don't spend your life Shooting up in the trash 314 00:16:17,591 --> 00:16:19,426 Homeless Giving handjobs for cash 315 00:16:19,677 --> 00:16:22,429 Follow this plan And very soon you will say 316 00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:25,307 It's easy, m'kay 317 00:16:25,558 --> 00:16:26,392 Step one 318 00:16:26,642 --> 00:16:28,352 - Say "buns" - Like "Kiss my buns" 319 00:16:28,602 --> 00:16:29,770 Or "You're a buns-hole" 320 00:16:30,020 --> 00:16:31,272 - Step two - Instead of "shit" say "poo" 321 00:16:31,522 --> 00:16:34,024 - As in "bull poo" - And "This poo is cold" 322 00:16:34,275 --> 00:16:35,568 - Step three - With "bitch" drop the "T" 323 00:16:35,818 --> 00:16:38,112 'Cause "bich" is Latin for generosity 324 00:16:38,362 --> 00:16:39,822 - Step four - Don't say "fuck" anymore 325 00:16:40,072 --> 00:16:41,949 It's the worst word You can say 326 00:16:42,199 --> 00:16:43,909 "Fuck" is the worst word That you can say 327 00:16:44,159 --> 00:16:46,579 We shouldn't say "fuck" Fuck no! 328 00:16:46,829 --> 00:16:48,080 You're cured, you can go 329 00:16:48,330 --> 00:16:50,374 Don't spend your life Shooting up in the trash 330 00:16:50,624 --> 00:16:52,459 Homeless Giving handjobs for cash 331 00:16:52,710 --> 00:16:55,713 Follow this plan And very soon you will say 332 00:16:55,963 --> 00:16:59,091 It's easy, m'kay 333 00:17:09,518 --> 00:17:14,189 Now you're cured. Take the rest of the afternoon off for personal reflection. 334 00:17:14,440 --> 00:17:19,904 Find your own constructive way to better yourself, m'kay? 335 00:17:20,321 --> 00:17:22,615 I hope you've learned something through this experience. 336 00:17:22,865 --> 00:17:27,745 I did. I learned that you are a boner-biting, dick-fart fuck-face. 337 00:17:28,329 --> 00:17:31,749 Want to see the northern lights? 338 00:17:32,708 --> 00:17:35,628 You burned yourself to death by lighting your fart. 339 00:17:35,878 --> 00:17:38,339 I sure did, Phillip. 340 00:17:38,589 --> 00:17:42,968 Uncle fucker! Good night. 341 00:17:43,218 --> 00:17:46,597 Oh, man. This movie rules. 342 00:17:46,847 --> 00:17:49,850 Man, that movie gets better every time I see it. 343 00:17:50,100 --> 00:17:52,603 That part about lighting farts is bullshit. 344 00:17:52,853 --> 00:17:54,396 - You can't do that. - (Yes, you can.) 345 00:17:54,647 --> 00:17:55,674 No way. 346 00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:57,323 (Yes you can, you can too light a fart on fire!) 347 00:17:57,324 --> 00:18:00,006 Okay, Kenny. I'll bet you $ 100 you can't light a fart on fire. 348 00:18:00,007 --> 00:18:02,097 (Yes you can, check it out!) 349 00:18:07,159 --> 00:18:10,204 - Holy shit, dude! - Look out! 350 00:18:10,454 --> 00:18:11,955 Shit! Shit! 351 00:18:12,206 --> 00:18:14,124 Help! Somebody do something! 352 00:18:14,375 --> 00:18:17,252 This stick is on fire! 353 00:18:20,375 --> 00:18:20,973 (Ooowww!) 354 00:18:21,924 --> 00:18:23,384 Oh, my God! You killed Kenny! 355 00:18:23,634 --> 00:18:24,676 You bastard! 356 00:18:24,927 --> 00:18:28,847 I guess you can light a fart on fire. 357 00:18:30,057 --> 00:18:32,393 Load that IV with 70 cc's of sodium Pentothal. 358 00:18:32,643 --> 00:18:33,685 We called the parents. 359 00:18:33,936 --> 00:18:36,980 Our moms will find out we went to the movie again. 360 00:18:37,231 --> 00:18:38,399 Vacuum! 361 00:18:38,649 --> 00:18:41,610 Try to untangle his trachea and esophagus. 362 00:18:41,860 --> 00:18:45,197 No, that doesn't go there! 363 00:18:46,407 --> 00:18:48,158 - Gross, Stan! - That's sick! 364 00:18:48,409 --> 00:18:50,869 - Watch his liver! - I'll get it. 365 00:18:51,120 --> 00:18:53,539 We have little time left. We'll lose him soon. 366 00:18:53,789 --> 00:18:54,998 His heart stopped. 367 00:18:55,249 --> 00:18:58,752 Get it out of there. Zap this, quick! 368 00:18:59,920 --> 00:19:01,505 Who's making a potato? 369 00:19:01,755 --> 00:19:02,923 My bad. I missed lunch. 370 00:19:03,173 --> 00:19:05,801 Damn it, I'm not gonna lose this kid! 371 00:19:06,051 --> 00:19:08,095 Close him up. We've done all we can. 372 00:19:08,345 --> 00:19:12,391 The rest is up to God. 373 00:19:13,183 --> 00:19:14,352 Kenny, can you hear me? 374 00:19:14,353 --> 00:19:15,101 (Holy shit, dude.) 375 00:19:15,102 --> 00:19:16,604 How are you feeling? 376 00:19:16,605 --> 00:19:17,770 (Like a sick animal.) 377 00:19:17,771 --> 00:19:19,940 Great. Son, I have some bad news. 378 00:19:20,190 --> 00:19:25,012 We replaced your heart with a potato. You have three seconds to live. 379 00:19:25,013 --> 00:19:25,613 (What?!) 380 00:19:26,321 --> 00:19:29,032 - Fucking weak, dude! - Oh, my God. They killed Kenny! 381 00:19:29,283 --> 00:19:30,325 You bastards! 382 00:19:30,576 --> 00:19:31,702 Damn it! 383 00:19:31,952 --> 00:19:36,957 It never gets any easier! 384 00:19:38,542 --> 00:19:41,253 I bet him he couldn't do it. I bet him $100. 385 00:19:41,503 --> 00:19:44,882 - It's not your fault. - No, I'm stoked I don't have to pay. 386 00:19:45,132 --> 00:19:48,468 That's real nice! He was your friend, you fat fuck! 387 00:19:48,719 --> 00:19:52,264 So, boys, you saw that movie again? 388 00:19:52,514 --> 00:19:54,224 Well, Kyle, I have had it! 389 00:19:54,474 --> 00:19:57,603 You are grounded for the next two weeks! 390 00:19:57,853 --> 00:19:58,687 Grounded? 391 00:19:58,937 --> 00:20:00,439 And you, Stan. Come on. 392 00:20:00,689 --> 00:20:02,774 And you're grounded for three weeks, Eric. 393 00:20:03,025 --> 00:20:05,027 Why am I grounded more? That's bullshit. 394 00:20:05,277 --> 00:20:06,194 What, what, what?! 395 00:20:06,445 --> 00:20:10,490 What was that word, young man? 396 00:20:23,003 --> 00:20:25,797 Little boy at peace 397 00:20:26,048 --> 00:20:27,591 What is this place 398 00:20:27,841 --> 00:20:30,093 Beyond the stars 399 00:20:30,344 --> 00:20:32,888 Open up your eyes 400 00:20:33,138 --> 00:20:34,598 What are these things 401 00:20:34,848 --> 00:20:36,934 You're moving toward 402 00:20:37,184 --> 00:20:40,020 Head so full of wonder 403 00:20:40,270 --> 00:20:42,522 - Worries in the past 404 00:20:42,773 --> 00:20:46,818 Could it be That you are free at last 405 00:20:47,494 --> 00:20:48,438 No! 406 00:20:48,594 --> 00:20:51,694 (What?! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa!) 407 00:20:55,369 --> 00:20:57,788 Little boy, you're going to hell 408 00:20:58,038 --> 00:21:00,916 You said bad words, threw rocks at birds And now this is your hotel 409 00:21:01,166 --> 00:21:05,212 This ain't Disneyland, it's hell 410 00:21:05,420 --> 00:21:07,798 Little boy, it's time for you to pay 411 00:21:08,048 --> 00:21:10,592 For not going to church And staring at boobs every day 412 00:21:10,842 --> 00:21:15,097 Thought you were in bed Instead you're in hell 413 00:21:15,138 --> 00:21:19,810 No, hell isn't good Hell isn't good, hell 414 00:21:23,772 --> 00:21:25,315 Fuck-face, have you seen Gracie? 415 00:21:25,565 --> 00:21:30,570 There is orderliness in the universe. 416 00:21:42,582 --> 00:21:45,419 Parents, our children are out of control! 417 00:21:45,669 --> 00:21:49,423 This is what happens when toilet humor is allowed to run rampant! 418 00:21:49,673 --> 00:21:51,508 That's right. Kenny set himself on fire... 419 00:21:51,758 --> 00:21:54,594 ...because he saw Terrance and Phillip do it in that dirty movie. 420 00:21:54,845 --> 00:21:57,848 We must stop dirty language from getting to our children's ears. 421 00:21:58,098 --> 00:22:00,142 We must go fight the source of it! 422 00:22:00,392 --> 00:22:01,810 But what is the source? 423 00:22:02,060 --> 00:22:03,895 That's easy. 424 00:22:04,146 --> 00:22:06,815 Times have changed Our kids are getting worse 425 00:22:07,065 --> 00:22:09,943 They won't obey their parents They just want to fart and curse 426 00:22:10,193 --> 00:22:11,528 Should we blame the government 427 00:22:11,778 --> 00:22:13,071 Or blame society 428 00:22:13,321 --> 00:22:15,699 Or should we blame the images on TV 429 00:22:15,949 --> 00:22:17,576 No, blame Canada! 430 00:22:17,826 --> 00:22:18,910 Blame Canada 431 00:22:19,161 --> 00:22:22,289 With all their beady little eyes And flappin' heads so full of lies 432 00:22:22,539 --> 00:22:23,707 Blame Canada 433 00:22:23,957 --> 00:22:25,292 Blame Canada 434 00:22:25,542 --> 00:22:29,588 - We need to form a full assault - It's Canada's fault 435 00:22:29,623 --> 00:22:31,882 Don't blame me for my son Stan 436 00:22:32,132 --> 00:22:35,260 He saw the darn cartoon And now he's off to join the Klan 437 00:22:35,510 --> 00:22:38,096 And my boy Eric once Had my picture on his shelf 438 00:22:38,346 --> 00:22:40,682 But now when I see him He tells me to fuck myself 439 00:22:40,932 --> 00:22:42,392 Well, blame Canada 440 00:22:42,642 --> 00:22:43,977 Blame Canada 441 00:22:44,227 --> 00:22:48,440 It seems that everything's gone wrong Since Canada came along 442 00:22:50,692 --> 00:22:53,737 They're not even a real country anyway 443 00:22:53,987 --> 00:22:57,073 My son could've been a doctor Or a lawyer rich and true 444 00:22:57,324 --> 00:23:00,202 Instead he burned up like a piggy On a barbecue 445 00:23:00,452 --> 00:23:01,828 Should we blame the matches 446 00:23:02,078 --> 00:23:05,290 Should we blame the fire Or the doctors who allowed him to expire 447 00:23:05,540 --> 00:23:07,500 Heck, no! Blame Canada 448 00:23:07,751 --> 00:23:09,211 Blame Canada 449 00:23:09,461 --> 00:23:14,090 - With all their hockey hullabaloo - And that bitch Anne Murray too 450 00:23:16,843 --> 00:23:19,596 The smut and trash we must bash The laughs and fun must be undone 451 00:23:19,846 --> 00:23:21,139 We must lament and cause a fuss 452 00:23:21,389 --> 00:23:26,019 Before somebody thinks of blaming us 453 00:23:31,149 --> 00:23:33,485 All right, you turds, listen up! 454 00:23:33,735 --> 00:23:37,113 Your moms are at a meeting and they put me in charge of you. 455 00:23:37,364 --> 00:23:40,241 But you're still grounded, so you're not allowed to have any fun! 456 00:23:40,492 --> 00:23:41,534 Any questions? 457 00:23:41,785 --> 00:23:44,663 Shelley, where's the clitoris? 458 00:23:45,664 --> 00:23:48,166 You all sit there and keep your mouths shut... 459 00:23:48,416 --> 00:23:53,588 ...while I go listen to my Britney Spears records. 460 00:23:53,838 --> 00:23:56,257 Okay, it's clear! 461 00:23:56,925 --> 00:23:59,260 Our next guests have the number one movie in the world. 462 00:23:59,511 --> 00:24:03,723 Please welcome Terrance and Phillip! 463 00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:07,352 - Hello, Conan. - Hello, Brooke Shields. 464 00:24:07,602 --> 00:24:11,773 Some people claim that your Canadian humor is just immature fart jokes. 465 00:24:12,023 --> 00:24:16,111 That's not true. Take this classic Canadian joke. 466 00:24:16,361 --> 00:24:19,864 - Excuse me, Terrance. - Yes, Phillip? 467 00:24:20,740 --> 00:24:23,124 Gosh darn it! 468 00:24:23,159 --> 00:24:24,994 - Good one. Cheers. - Cheers, fuck-face. 469 00:24:25,245 --> 00:24:26,955 You can't say that on TV. 470 00:24:27,205 --> 00:24:29,332 Now Terrance smells like my ass. 471 00:24:29,582 --> 00:24:34,504 I farted once on the set of "Blue Lagoon". 472 00:24:36,631 --> 00:24:39,008 Does it make you nervous to be in America? 473 00:24:39,259 --> 00:24:42,512 Our organizations want you arrested for destroying children. 474 00:24:42,762 --> 00:24:47,058 - They'd have to find us first. - You're right. Now! 475 00:24:47,475 --> 00:24:52,063 Mothers Against Canada is placing you under citizen's arrest! 476 00:24:52,313 --> 00:24:53,898 - Mom? - What's going on? 477 00:24:54,149 --> 00:24:56,067 We have a court order for your arrest! 478 00:24:56,317 --> 00:24:57,736 Phillip, we've been ambushed! 479 00:24:57,986 --> 00:24:59,404 Here you go, Conan. 480 00:24:59,654 --> 00:25:02,824 This little scrotum-sucker deceived us! You are a bad man! 481 00:25:03,074 --> 00:25:03,992 Don't listen to them. 482 00:25:04,242 --> 00:25:06,661 You loved our movie, Conan. We watched it together. 483 00:25:06,911 --> 00:25:08,288 Remember? You laughed. 484 00:25:08,538 --> 00:25:12,083 What have I done? 485 00:25:18,631 --> 00:25:23,428 Did you see that? They arrested Terrance and Phillip! 486 00:25:27,307 --> 00:25:28,266 As Canadian ambassador... 487 00:25:28,516 --> 00:25:32,687 ...I condemn America's actions in apprehending Terrance and Phillip. 488 00:25:32,937 --> 00:25:36,191 The entire economy of Canada relies on Terrance and Phillip. 489 00:25:36,441 --> 00:25:39,152 Without them, we'd have a recession. 490 00:25:39,402 --> 00:25:42,906 What say you, Mr. American Ambassador? 491 00:25:44,449 --> 00:25:45,408 Fuck Canada! 492 00:25:45,658 --> 00:25:46,743 Fuck you, buddy! 493 00:25:46,993 --> 00:25:48,620 Terrance and Phillip will not be released. 494 00:25:48,870 --> 00:25:51,706 They'll be put on trial for corrupting America's youth. 495 00:25:51,956 --> 00:25:53,500 What's all the fuss about? 496 00:25:53,750 --> 00:25:57,879 The fuss is aboot taking our citizens! It's aboot not censoring our art! 497 00:25:58,129 --> 00:26:00,798 It's aboot... What's so goddamn funny? 498 00:26:01,049 --> 00:26:05,428 Nothing. Could you tell us again what your argument is all about? 499 00:26:05,678 --> 00:26:09,140 This is not aboot diplomacy. This is aboot dignity. It's aboot respect. 500 00:26:09,390 --> 00:26:12,393 Aboot realizing that humor... 501 00:26:12,435 --> 00:26:17,649 Release them, or we'll give you something to cry aboot! 502 00:26:29,452 --> 00:26:32,038 Pilot to bombardier. We're nearing the target. 503 00:26:32,288 --> 00:26:33,706 Bomb's ready, buddy. 504 00:26:33,957 --> 00:26:35,667 Baldwin residence. 505 00:26:35,917 --> 00:26:37,418 No, this is Billy Baldwin. 506 00:26:37,669 --> 00:26:40,630 If you want Daniel Baldwin, call his extension, stupid! 507 00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:43,549 Alec, do you know what sucks about being a Baldwin? 508 00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:47,804 - No. What? - Nothing! 509 00:26:53,351 --> 00:26:56,354 You missed me! 510 00:26:58,523 --> 00:27:03,152 Your mothers are making me throw away my lesson plan and teach theirs. 511 00:27:03,403 --> 00:27:07,115 How come our moms arrested Terrance and Phillip? 512 00:27:07,156 --> 00:27:10,660 Your moms are just upset. They're probably all on their periods. 513 00:27:10,910 --> 00:27:11,828 Not cool. 514 00:27:12,078 --> 00:27:15,164 Wendy and I think that was a sexist statement. 515 00:27:15,415 --> 00:27:19,794 Sorry, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die. 516 00:27:20,044 --> 00:27:23,006 Anyway, children, let's start off with some vocabulary. 517 00:27:23,256 --> 00:27:24,340 Attention, students. 518 00:27:24,590 --> 00:27:25,466 What now? 519 00:27:25,717 --> 00:27:31,806 Come to the gymnasium immediately for a special announcement. 520 00:27:32,765 --> 00:27:35,184 - What's going on, Chef? - Something big, children. 521 00:27:35,435 --> 00:27:37,520 I can't find the clitoris. You have to help. 522 00:27:37,770 --> 00:27:39,105 Stan, the clitoris is... 523 00:27:39,355 --> 00:27:43,192 Take your seats. They're about to announce it. 524 00:27:43,227 --> 00:27:44,736 This is a state of emergency. 525 00:27:44,986 --> 00:27:48,656 Now to the White House for an announcement from the President. 526 00:27:48,906 --> 00:27:50,241 My fellow Americans... 527 00:27:50,491 --> 00:27:55,204 ...at 5 a. m. Today, a day which will live in infamy... 528 00:27:55,455 --> 00:27:58,624 ...the Canadians have bombed the Baldwins. 529 00:27:58,875 --> 00:28:05,131 In response to this, the U.S. has declared war on Canada. 530 00:28:05,798 --> 00:28:07,425 - Oh, no. - War? 531 00:28:07,675 --> 00:28:10,595 - No, Gregory, no! - This is bad. Hold on to me. 532 00:28:10,845 --> 00:28:12,430 All the Baldwins are dead? 533 00:28:12,680 --> 00:28:15,433 It's time for us to send a message to Canadians. 534 00:28:15,683 --> 00:28:18,978 In two days, the war criminals, Terrance and Phillip... 535 00:28:19,228 --> 00:28:21,481 ...will be executed. 536 00:28:21,731 --> 00:28:22,940 They're gonna kill them? 537 00:28:23,191 --> 00:28:26,694 And now I'd like to bring up my newly appointed Secretary of Offense... 538 00:28:26,944 --> 00:28:28,988 ...Ms. Sheila Broflovski. 539 00:28:29,238 --> 00:28:30,281 Holy shit, dude! 540 00:28:30,531 --> 00:28:31,699 My fellow Americans... 541 00:28:31,949 --> 00:28:35,870 ...our neighbor to the north has abused us for the last time! 542 00:28:36,120 --> 00:28:38,206 - I have a plan... - Canadians want to fight us... 543 00:28:38,456 --> 00:28:41,417 ...because we won't tolerate their potty-mouths. 544 00:28:41,667 --> 00:28:43,669 If it is war they want... 545 00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:48,007 ...then war they shall have! 546 00:28:48,508 --> 00:28:50,259 Dude, this is fucking weak. 547 00:28:50,510 --> 00:28:54,347 How could things be any worse? 548 00:29:01,010 --> 00:29:02,710 (Ow! What the hell? Wait!) 549 00:29:03,981 --> 00:29:06,734 Fallen one, I am Satan. 550 00:29:06,984 --> 00:29:11,113 I am your god now. 551 00:29:11,114 --> 00:29:12,364 (Oh my God!) 552 00:29:12,365 --> 00:29:15,826 There is no escape. 553 00:29:17,703 --> 00:29:19,223 Now feel the delightful pain. 554 00:29:20,873 --> 00:29:22,667 Hey, Satan. 555 00:29:22,917 --> 00:29:26,546 Did you hear the news? A war just broke out up on Earth. 556 00:29:26,796 --> 00:29:30,058 Meet Saddam Hussein, my new partner in evil. 557 00:29:30,059 --> 00:29:30,958 (Huh?) 558 00:29:31,008 --> 00:29:33,302 You're hogging all the fun. 559 00:29:33,552 --> 00:29:36,181 Man, this is getting me so hot! 560 00:29:36,182 --> 00:29:36,981 (Hey, what the fuck?!) 561 00:29:37,431 --> 00:29:39,183 Would you let me do my job? 562 00:29:39,433 --> 00:29:41,686 Rub my nipples while I torture this little piggy. 563 00:29:41,936 --> 00:29:45,731 Could I talk to you over here? 564 00:29:46,399 --> 00:29:49,902 I don't see why you have to belittle me in front of people like that. 565 00:29:50,152 --> 00:29:51,445 Relax, guy. 566 00:29:51,696 --> 00:29:54,532 Sometimes, I think you don't have any respect for me. 567 00:29:54,782 --> 00:29:57,535 Come here, guy. 568 00:29:57,785 --> 00:29:59,370 Who's my cream puff? 569 00:29:59,620 --> 00:30:03,074 - I am. - That's right, baby. 570 00:30:03,075 --> 00:30:03,874 (Huh?) 571 00:30:05,876 --> 00:30:06,877 I don't wanna be at war. 572 00:30:07,128 --> 00:30:08,963 You think they'll kill Terrance and Phillip? 573 00:30:09,213 --> 00:30:12,300 Kyle, stop being a chicken shit and stand up to your mother. 574 00:30:12,550 --> 00:30:15,386 Smack her and say, "That's enough of your shit, you bitch!" 575 00:30:15,636 --> 00:30:17,388 Don't call my mom a bitch! 576 00:30:17,638 --> 00:30:21,058 Stop it! This isn't helping. We've gotta think. Let's see. 577 00:30:21,309 --> 00:30:26,647 - What would Brian Boitano do? - Yeah, what would Brian Boitano do? 578 00:30:28,315 --> 00:30:29,442 What's going on? 579 00:30:29,692 --> 00:30:32,236 America thinks it has the right to police the world. 580 00:30:32,486 --> 00:30:36,282 Your government will kill two Canadians, an action condemned by the U.N. 581 00:30:36,532 --> 00:30:39,577 Home of the free, indeed. 582 00:30:39,702 --> 00:30:41,370 Let's play tetherball. 583 00:30:41,620 --> 00:30:43,998 This is about freedom of speech! About censorship! 584 00:30:44,248 --> 00:30:45,374 Be more political... 585 00:30:45,624 --> 00:30:49,211 There's the girl that I like 586 00:30:49,378 --> 00:30:53,090 Now it appears That she likes another guy 587 00:30:53,340 --> 00:30:58,179 It must be because He's political and stuff 588 00:30:58,429 --> 00:31:01,015 I bet I could be political too 589 00:31:01,265 --> 00:31:04,560 What do you think, Stan? 590 00:31:04,595 --> 00:31:05,436 Damn it! 591 00:31:05,686 --> 00:31:08,564 - This is all Kyle's mom's fault. - Shut up, Cartman! 592 00:31:08,814 --> 00:31:10,441 Kyle's mom started that damn club. 593 00:31:10,691 --> 00:31:15,946 - All because she's a fat, stupid bitch. - Don't say it, Cartman! 594 00:31:16,197 --> 00:31:19,533 Don't do it, Cartman. 595 00:31:19,617 --> 00:31:22,119 I'm warning you! 596 00:31:22,369 --> 00:31:24,455 I'm sick of him calling my mom a... 597 00:31:24,705 --> 00:31:27,166 Kyle's mom's a witch The biggest bitch in the world 598 00:31:27,416 --> 00:31:31,045 She's a stupid bitch She's a bitch to all the boys and girls 599 00:31:31,295 --> 00:31:33,589 Shut your fucking mouth, Cartman! 600 00:31:33,839 --> 00:31:36,550 Monday and Tuesday she's a bitch Wednesday to Saturday she's a bitch 601 00:31:36,801 --> 00:31:40,888 On Sunday just to be different She's a super King Kamehameha bitch 602 00:31:41,138 --> 00:31:42,640 Come on, you all know the words. 603 00:31:42,890 --> 00:31:43,974 Have you met Kyle's mom 604 00:31:44,225 --> 00:31:45,601 She's the biggest bitch In the world 605 00:31:45,851 --> 00:31:47,728 She's a mean old bitch And she has stupid hair 606 00:31:47,978 --> 00:31:49,980 She's a bitch bitch bitch 607 00:31:50,015 --> 00:31:51,982 She's a stupid bitch 608 00:31:52,233 --> 00:31:54,860 Kyle's mom's a bitch And she's just a dirty bitch 609 00:31:55,110 --> 00:31:59,365 Talk to kids around the world It might go something like this 610 00:32:10,125 --> 00:32:11,377 Have you met Kyle's mom 611 00:32:11,627 --> 00:32:12,836 She's the biggest bitch In the world 612 00:32:13,087 --> 00:32:14,838 She's a mean old bitch And she has stupid hair 613 00:32:15,089 --> 00:32:17,508 She's a bitch bitch bitch 614 00:32:17,800 --> 00:32:19,093 She's a stupid bitch 615 00:32:19,343 --> 00:32:22,179 Kyle's mom's a bitch And she's just a dirty bitch 616 00:32:22,429 --> 00:32:25,474 I really mean it Kyle's mom 617 00:32:25,724 --> 00:32:30,437 She's a big fat fucking bitch 618 00:32:30,688 --> 00:32:35,192 Big old fat fucking bitch Kyle's mom 619 00:32:39,738 --> 00:32:42,241 What? 620 00:32:42,491 --> 00:32:44,493 Oh, fuck. 621 00:32:44,743 --> 00:32:46,954 Everyone, settle down. 622 00:32:47,204 --> 00:32:49,456 As we continue to send troops into Canada... 623 00:32:49,707 --> 00:32:53,085 ...M.A.C. is also fighting the war against potty-mouths here at home. 624 00:32:53,335 --> 00:32:59,049 Here to present the V-chip is Dr. Vosknocker. 625 00:33:00,509 --> 00:33:02,553 The machinery of the V-chip is very simple. 626 00:33:02,803 --> 00:33:04,471 It is placed under the child's skin... 627 00:33:04,722 --> 00:33:08,809 ...emitting a small shock of electricity whenever an obscenity is uttered. 628 00:33:09,059 --> 00:33:12,271 Wait a minute. This chip somehow knows if the child is swearing? 629 00:33:12,521 --> 00:33:13,605 It's like a lie detector. 630 00:33:13,856 --> 00:33:16,692 Certain things happen to you when you swear, just like when you lie. 631 00:33:16,942 --> 00:33:20,154 The chip picks up on this and gives the subject a little prick. 632 00:33:20,404 --> 00:33:23,157 Patient B-5, would you step out here, please? 633 00:33:23,407 --> 00:33:26,702 Patient B-5 here has been fitted with the new V-chip. 634 00:33:26,952 --> 00:33:27,786 My head hurts. 635 00:33:28,037 --> 00:33:31,915 Don't worry about that. Now, I want you to say "doggy". 636 00:33:32,166 --> 00:33:33,000 Doggy. 637 00:33:33,250 --> 00:33:35,044 Notice that nothing happens. 638 00:33:35,294 --> 00:33:38,005 - Now say "Montana". - Montana. 639 00:33:38,255 --> 00:33:39,048 Good. 640 00:33:39,298 --> 00:33:40,632 Now, "pillow". 641 00:33:40,883 --> 00:33:42,051 Pillow. 642 00:33:42,301 --> 00:33:46,180 All right. Now I want you to say "horse-fucker". 643 00:33:46,430 --> 00:33:48,223 Go ahead, Eric. It's all right. 644 00:33:48,474 --> 00:33:51,101 Horse-fuck... 645 00:33:51,352 --> 00:33:52,895 That hurt, goddamn... 646 00:33:53,145 --> 00:33:53,979 Fuck! 647 00:33:54,229 --> 00:33:57,691 Now I'd like you to say "big, floppy donkey dick". 648 00:33:57,941 --> 00:34:00,861 Success! The child doesn't want to swear! 649 00:34:01,111 --> 00:34:02,946 This isn't fair, you sons of bitches! 650 00:34:03,197 --> 00:34:09,036 We will start putting V-chips in all our children next week! 651 00:34:10,287 --> 00:34:13,582 Snacky Smores presents: The March of War. 652 00:34:13,832 --> 00:34:15,084 Let's hear it for our boys. 653 00:34:15,334 --> 00:34:18,837 Clinton has called them to fight the evil Canadians. 654 00:34:19,088 --> 00:34:21,465 A full-scale attack was launched on Toronto... 655 00:34:21,715 --> 00:34:25,886 ...after the Canadians' last bombing, which devastated the Arquettes. 656 00:34:26,136 --> 00:34:28,722 For security measures, our great government is rounding up... 657 00:34:28,972 --> 00:34:31,767 ...all citizens with Canadian blood and putting them into camps. 658 00:34:32,017 --> 00:34:35,646 Canadian-Americans are to report to one of these death camps right away. 659 00:34:35,896 --> 00:34:37,356 Did I say "death camps"? 660 00:34:37,606 --> 00:34:40,067 I meant happy camps, where you will eat the finest meals... 661 00:34:40,317 --> 00:34:42,653 ...have access to fabulous doctors and exercise regularly. 662 00:34:42,903 --> 00:34:46,782 Meanwhile, war criminals Terrance and Phillip are prepped for execution. 663 00:34:47,032 --> 00:34:48,450 Their execution will take place... 664 00:34:48,700 --> 00:34:52,079 ...during a fabulous USO show, with guest celebrities, including... 665 00:34:52,329 --> 00:34:54,331 ...Big Gay Al and Winona Ryder. 666 00:34:54,581 --> 00:34:58,502 Of course, the only way to see the USO show is to sign up for the Army! 667 00:34:58,752 --> 00:35:02,506 So join the Army and kill some Canadian scum as we continue... 668 00:35:02,756 --> 00:35:07,427 ...the march of war. Eat Snacky Smores. 669 00:35:09,096 --> 00:35:13,037 We must rid ourselves of anything Canadian. 670 00:35:13,072 --> 00:35:16,979 Don't you like Terrance and Phillip anymore? 671 00:35:17,229 --> 00:35:20,816 Course not! Mommy says I hate Canadians because they made me have a dirty mouth. 672 00:35:21,066 --> 00:35:23,325 Burn it all! 673 00:35:23,360 --> 00:35:25,070 - Hey, dudes. - What's the matter, Cartman? 674 00:35:25,320 --> 00:35:29,074 It's this V-chip. I hate it. I can't say any dirty words. 675 00:35:29,324 --> 00:35:30,868 - So you can't say "fuck"? - No. 676 00:35:31,118 --> 00:35:32,828 - And you can't say "shit"? - No. 677 00:35:33,078 --> 00:35:35,956 You can't say, "I'm Cartman, the fattest piece of shit in the world"? 678 00:35:36,206 --> 00:35:38,083 - Fuck you! - Dude. Sweet! 679 00:35:38,333 --> 00:35:41,545 This has gone far enough. It's time we talked to our moms. 680 00:35:41,795 --> 00:35:43,088 We're supposed to be grounded. 681 00:35:43,338 --> 00:35:45,632 Come on, it's time for us to get political. 682 00:35:45,882 --> 00:35:48,844 Canada will no longer corrupt our children! 683 00:35:49,094 --> 00:35:50,304 Mom, can I talk to you? 684 00:35:50,554 --> 00:35:53,515 Kyle, what are you doing here? You are grounded. 685 00:35:53,765 --> 00:35:55,809 Get back to the house and stay there! 686 00:35:56,059 --> 00:35:57,269 You too, Stanley. 687 00:35:57,519 --> 00:36:00,564 You're going too far. You can't kill Terrance and Phillip. 688 00:36:00,814 --> 00:36:02,899 We must fight for our children's futures! 689 00:36:03,150 --> 00:36:06,862 - You started a war. You have to stop it. - To make them safe again! 690 00:36:07,112 --> 00:36:09,323 Our children are precious. 691 00:36:09,573 --> 00:36:14,202 We must make a stand now! Stop at nothing! 692 00:36:14,453 --> 00:36:15,537 I told you she wouldn't listen. 693 00:36:15,787 --> 00:36:18,081 We'll have to save Terrance and Phillip ourselves. 694 00:36:18,332 --> 00:36:19,666 - What? - Think about it. 695 00:36:19,916 --> 00:36:20,917 What would Brian Boitano do? 696 00:36:21,168 --> 00:36:23,712 He'd rescue Terrance and Phillip before they're executed. 697 00:36:23,962 --> 00:36:26,632 We can't do anything. Our moms' organization is too strong. 698 00:36:26,882 --> 00:36:29,801 We'll round up all the grounded kids and start our own organization. 699 00:36:30,052 --> 00:36:31,928 An organization to help save Terrance and Phillip. 700 00:36:32,179 --> 00:36:34,181 Yeah, our own secret club. 701 00:36:34,431 --> 00:36:36,892 - I guess that could work. - We have to try. 702 00:36:37,142 --> 00:36:40,020 What would Brian Boitano do If he was here right now 703 00:36:40,270 --> 00:36:43,607 He'd make a plan and follow through That's what Brian Boitano'd do 704 00:36:43,857 --> 00:36:46,902 When Brian Boitano was in the Olympics Skating for the gold 705 00:36:47,152 --> 00:36:50,405 He did two salchows and a triple lutz While wearing a blindfold 706 00:36:50,655 --> 00:36:53,575 When Brian Boitano was in the Alps Fighting grizzly bears 707 00:36:53,825 --> 00:36:57,162 He used his magical fire breath And saved the maidens fair 708 00:36:57,412 --> 00:37:00,332 So what would Brian Boitano do If he were here today 709 00:37:00,582 --> 00:37:04,169 I'm sure he'd kick an ass or two That's what Brian Boitano'd do 710 00:37:04,419 --> 00:37:07,339 I want this V-chip out of me 711 00:37:07,589 --> 00:37:10,467 It has stunted my vocabulary 712 00:37:10,717 --> 00:37:14,179 And I just want my mom To stop fighting everyone 713 00:37:14,429 --> 00:37:17,391 For Wendy, I'll be an activist That's what Brian Boitano'd do 714 00:37:17,641 --> 00:37:20,811 That's what Brian Boitano'd do He'd call the kids in town 715 00:37:21,061 --> 00:37:24,606 And tell them to unite for truth That's what Brian Boitano'd do 716 00:37:24,856 --> 00:37:26,525 Someone say my name? 717 00:37:26,775 --> 00:37:28,985 - Who are you? - I'm Brian Dennehy. 718 00:37:29,236 --> 00:37:31,238 What? No, not fucking Brian Dennehy! 719 00:37:31,488 --> 00:37:34,825 Get the fuck out of here. 720 00:37:34,991 --> 00:37:38,120 When Brian Boitano traveled through time To the year 3010 721 00:37:38,370 --> 00:37:41,832 He fought the evil robot king To save the human race again 722 00:37:42,082 --> 00:37:44,960 When he built the pyramids He beat up Kublai Khan 723 00:37:45,210 --> 00:37:50,423 Because Brian Boitano Doesn't take shit from anybody 724 00:37:50,674 --> 00:37:53,426 So let's all stick together And unite to stop our moms 725 00:37:53,677 --> 00:37:56,972 We'll save Terrance and Phillip too That's what Brian Boitano'd do 726 00:37:57,222 --> 00:38:01,977 We'll save Terrance and Phillip too That's what Brian Boitano'd do 727 00:38:02,227 --> 00:38:05,689 That's what Brian Boitano'd do 728 00:38:09,276 --> 00:38:11,153 Hey, relax, guy. 729 00:38:11,403 --> 00:38:12,988 There's nothing on. 730 00:38:13,238 --> 00:38:15,073 You get cranky when you're tired. 731 00:38:15,323 --> 00:38:16,449 I'm not cranky. 732 00:38:16,700 --> 00:38:21,162 What started as a spat between the U.S. and Canada is turning into WWIII. 733 00:38:21,413 --> 00:38:22,664 World War III?! 734 00:38:22,914 --> 00:38:27,002 Terrance and Phillip will be put to death for crimes... 735 00:38:27,252 --> 00:38:31,172 It has come to be. The Four Horsemen are drawing nigh. 736 00:38:31,423 --> 00:38:33,967 The time of prophecy is upon us. 737 00:38:34,217 --> 00:38:37,596 I love when you get biblical. You know exactly how to turn my crank. 738 00:38:37,846 --> 00:38:40,682 No, I'm being serious. It is the seventh sign. 739 00:38:40,932 --> 00:38:41,766 What? 740 00:38:42,017 --> 00:38:43,018 Behold... 741 00:38:43,268 --> 00:38:45,812 ...the first signs of my reign have all come true: 742 00:38:46,062 --> 00:38:48,690 The fall of an empire, the coming of a comet... 743 00:38:48,940 --> 00:38:53,278 ...and now, when the blood of these Canadians touches American soil... 744 00:38:53,528 --> 00:38:56,198 ...it will be our time to rise. 745 00:38:57,028 --> 00:38:57,828 (Huh?) 746 00:38:57,449 --> 00:39:00,368 Yeah, man, I'm getting so hot! Let's fuck! 747 00:39:00,619 --> 00:39:04,372 Do you always think about sex? I'm talking about important stuff here. 748 00:39:04,623 --> 00:39:07,667 I'm just excited about taking over the world! Come on! 749 00:39:07,917 --> 00:39:10,211 Is sex the only thing that matters to you? 750 00:39:10,462 --> 00:39:12,881 I love you. 751 00:39:13,131 --> 00:39:14,299 I want to believe that. 752 00:39:14,549 --> 00:39:19,012 What do you say we shut off that light and get close? 753 00:39:22,349 --> 00:39:26,478 You like that, don't you, bitch? 754 00:39:27,812 --> 00:39:30,774 We can use my dad's computer to call the kids together. 755 00:39:31,024 --> 00:39:34,986 Before we put a message out, do a search on "clitoris". 756 00:39:36,279 --> 00:39:39,324 "Found: Eight million pages with the word 'clitoris'." 757 00:39:39,574 --> 00:39:43,828 I'll just try the first one. "You must be 18 to enter this website. " 758 00:39:44,079 --> 00:39:46,081 "Welcome to German Sick Fetish Video. " 759 00:39:46,331 --> 00:39:50,794 "If you are under 18, do not... " Well, okay. 760 00:39:52,337 --> 00:39:53,755 It's a lady getting pooed on! 761 00:39:54,005 --> 00:39:56,216 - Is it Cartman's mom? - Very funny. 762 00:39:56,466 --> 00:39:59,427 It is Cartman's mom! 763 00:40:00,053 --> 00:40:02,972 Son of a bit...! 764 00:40:03,223 --> 00:40:04,891 Lke, you're too young for this stuff. 765 00:40:05,141 --> 00:40:05,934 Bullshitah. 766 00:40:06,184 --> 00:40:09,229 What's she doing now? 767 00:40:13,358 --> 00:40:14,692 Click it off, dude! 768 00:40:14,943 --> 00:40:16,569 What's wrong with German people? 769 00:40:16,820 --> 00:40:19,739 Let's do what we came here to do and put a message out. 770 00:40:19,989 --> 00:40:22,450 I've gotta put out an all-access e-mail. 771 00:40:22,700 --> 00:40:25,203 - Goddamn, your mom sucks! - Get to the message board! 772 00:40:25,453 --> 00:40:28,581 Can't find a Canadian server. I'll break into the mainframe. 773 00:40:28,832 --> 00:40:30,083 They've got an access code! 774 00:40:30,333 --> 00:40:33,795 I'll try to re-route the encryptions. 775 00:40:36,172 --> 00:40:38,883 Here we go. "Want to help Terrance and Phillip?" 776 00:40:39,134 --> 00:40:43,138 "Sneak out after you get tucked into bed tonight and meet at Carl's warehouse. " 777 00:40:43,388 --> 00:40:45,473 - Tell them we'll have punch and pie. - We're not. 778 00:40:45,723 --> 00:40:49,310 More people will come if they think we have punch and pie! 779 00:40:49,561 --> 00:40:51,062 "Punch and pie. " 780 00:40:51,312 --> 00:40:54,649 "This is top-secret. The password is... " 781 00:40:54,899 --> 00:40:57,318 "La Résistance. " 782 00:40:57,569 --> 00:40:59,445 So the draft will begin tomorrow... 783 00:40:59,696 --> 00:41:02,115 ...as more troops are needed to invade the Canadian border. 784 00:41:02,365 --> 00:41:05,451 The Canadian government pleads for a peaceful resolution... 785 00:41:05,702 --> 00:41:07,120 ...but we're not listening. 786 00:41:07,370 --> 00:41:08,413 Good night, hon. 787 00:41:08,663 --> 00:41:10,915 Mom, when will the war be over? 788 00:41:11,166 --> 00:41:17,380 I don't know, hon. Soon, we hope. You want it to end quickly, huh? 789 00:41:17,630 --> 00:41:19,507 - Mom? - Yes, hon? 790 00:41:19,757 --> 00:41:24,512 If you were in a German "scheiße" video, you'd tell me, right? 791 00:41:24,762 --> 00:41:27,599 Sure, hon. Good night. 792 00:41:36,816 --> 00:41:38,277 There's a ghost! 793 00:41:38,278 --> 00:41:39,826 (What's the matter? You can't be afraid of me.) 794 00:41:39,827 --> 00:41:40,897 Kenny, is that you? 795 00:41:40,956 --> 00:41:43,405 (Yes. It's Satan! He's coming right now!) 796 00:41:43,406 --> 00:41:44,834 Satan? Satan is coming here? 797 00:41:44,835 --> 00:41:46,283 (That's right, and he's gonna bring Saddam Hussein with him!) 798 00:41:46,284 --> 00:41:48,838 Saddam Hussein? That doesn't make sense! 799 00:41:48,839 --> 00:41:50,483 (Well, they're both gonna come right here right now!) 800 00:41:52,165 --> 00:41:53,041 Eric, what is it? 801 00:41:53,291 --> 00:41:54,584 I saw him! I saw Kenny! 802 00:41:54,834 --> 00:41:56,169 You poor dear. 803 00:41:56,419 --> 00:41:58,046 You've been through so much. 804 00:41:58,296 --> 00:42:01,215 I bet him he couldn't light a fart on fire, and now he's pissed off. 805 00:42:01,466 --> 00:42:04,677 I can't say "pissed off"? 806 00:42:05,261 --> 00:42:07,472 The execution of Terrance and Phillip is imminent. 807 00:42:07,722 --> 00:42:12,435 Soon, Saddam and I will rule the world. 808 00:42:12,477 --> 00:42:15,229 I got some new luggage for our trip up to Earth. 809 00:42:15,480 --> 00:42:16,564 Let's fuck to celebrate! 810 00:42:16,814 --> 00:42:19,317 What's it like up on Earth? Tell me about it again. 811 00:42:19,567 --> 00:42:21,736 Let's not talk. Let's get busy. 812 00:42:21,986 --> 00:42:23,613 Remember when you first got here? 813 00:42:23,863 --> 00:42:26,866 We used to talk all night, until the sun came up. 814 00:42:27,116 --> 00:42:29,661 We would just lie in bed and talk. 815 00:42:29,911 --> 00:42:32,246 Because I was waiting to get you in bed. 816 00:42:32,497 --> 00:42:34,874 How come you always want to make love to me from behind? 817 00:42:35,124 --> 00:42:37,710 Is it because you want to pretend I'm somebody else? 818 00:42:37,960 --> 00:42:40,254 Satan, your ass is gigantic and red. 819 00:42:40,505 --> 00:42:44,217 Who am I gonna pretend you are? Liza Minnelli? 820 00:42:44,967 --> 00:42:48,638 Don't get all pissy! 821 00:42:54,560 --> 00:42:57,355 Sometimes I think 822 00:42:57,605 --> 00:43:00,316 When I look up real high 823 00:43:00,566 --> 00:43:03,528 That there's such a big world up there 824 00:43:03,778 --> 00:43:06,989 I'd like to give it a try 825 00:43:07,240 --> 00:43:09,242 But then I sink 826 00:43:09,492 --> 00:43:12,286 'Cause it's here I'm supposed to stay 827 00:43:12,537 --> 00:43:15,081 But I get so lonely down here 828 00:43:15,331 --> 00:43:20,128 Tell me, why's it have to be that way? 829 00:43:20,378 --> 00:43:22,922 Up there, there is so much room 830 00:43:23,172 --> 00:43:25,842 Where babies burp and flowers bloom 831 00:43:26,092 --> 00:43:29,053 Everyone dreams, I can dream too 832 00:43:29,303 --> 00:43:30,513 Up there 833 00:43:30,763 --> 00:43:34,100 Up where the skies are ocean blue 834 00:43:34,350 --> 00:43:37,937 I could be safe and live without a care 835 00:43:38,187 --> 00:43:41,482 Up there 836 00:43:41,732 --> 00:43:44,235 They say I don't belong 837 00:43:44,485 --> 00:43:47,488 I must stay below alone 838 00:43:47,738 --> 00:43:49,490 Because of my beliefs 839 00:43:49,740 --> 00:43:54,370 I'm supposed to stay where evil is sown 840 00:43:54,620 --> 00:43:56,205 But what is evil anyway 841 00:43:56,456 --> 00:43:59,208 Is there reason to the rhyme 842 00:43:59,459 --> 00:44:01,419 Without evil there could be no good 843 00:44:01,669 --> 00:44:06,924 So it must be good to be evil sometimes 844 00:44:07,175 --> 00:44:09,886 Up there, there is so much room 845 00:44:10,136 --> 00:44:12,763 Where babies burp and flowers bloom 846 00:44:13,014 --> 00:44:15,933 Everyone dreams, I can dream too 847 00:44:16,184 --> 00:44:17,435 Up there 848 00:44:17,685 --> 00:44:21,063 Up where the skies are ocean blue 849 00:44:21,314 --> 00:44:25,651 I could be safe and live without a care 850 00:44:25,902 --> 00:44:28,404 Live without a care 851 00:44:28,654 --> 00:44:33,451 If only I could live up there 852 00:44:33,576 --> 00:44:37,538 I want to live, I want to live up 853 00:44:40,958 --> 00:44:46,464 I want to live up there 854 00:44:56,557 --> 00:44:58,226 - You're late! - I had to ride my bike here. 855 00:44:58,476 --> 00:45:00,561 - My behind is killing me. - Your "behind"? 856 00:45:00,811 --> 00:45:03,648 I have to say "behind" because I get shocked if I say "ass". 857 00:45:03,898 --> 00:45:04,941 Did you bring the punch and pie? 858 00:45:05,191 --> 00:45:07,360 No. You guys, something happened. 859 00:45:07,610 --> 00:45:09,654 I don't think Kenny's dead. 860 00:45:09,904 --> 00:45:10,905 I saw him in my room. 861 00:45:11,155 --> 00:45:13,324 I know, Cartman. I see Kenny every day. 862 00:45:13,574 --> 00:45:14,659 - You do? - Sure, dude. 863 00:45:14,909 --> 00:45:18,204 On the face of every child, on the smile of every baby. 864 00:45:18,454 --> 00:45:21,749 This was Kenny! He said that if Terrance and Phillip die... 865 00:45:21,999 --> 00:45:25,211 ...Saddam Hussein and Satan will come up and rule the world! 866 00:45:25,461 --> 00:45:28,422 Saddam Hussein? 867 00:45:31,759 --> 00:45:32,802 Who is it? 868 00:45:33,052 --> 00:45:34,387 I'm here for "La Résistance". 869 00:45:34,637 --> 00:45:35,513 What's the password? 870 00:45:35,763 --> 00:45:36,889 I don't know. 871 00:45:37,139 --> 00:45:39,016 Guess. 872 00:45:39,266 --> 00:45:42,061 Bacon. 873 00:45:43,521 --> 00:45:45,523 "Viva La Résistance"! 874 00:45:45,773 --> 00:45:46,899 Oh, no! It's that kid! 875 00:45:47,149 --> 00:45:49,110 This is the place. 876 00:45:49,360 --> 00:45:52,530 Stan? You started "La Résistance"? 877 00:45:52,780 --> 00:45:54,657 You're more political than we thought. 878 00:45:54,907 --> 00:45:58,911 Let us get this meeting underway. Many others are coming. 879 00:46:00,496 --> 00:46:03,207 A lot of people showed up. 880 00:46:05,042 --> 00:46:11,257 Terrance and Phillip are supposed to be killed, and we think that sucks ass! 881 00:46:12,508 --> 00:46:15,052 We were to understand there'd be pie and punch. 882 00:46:15,302 --> 00:46:17,722 There isn't any. 883 00:46:20,474 --> 00:46:22,768 Terrance and Phillip are supposed to be killed... 884 00:46:23,018 --> 00:46:25,146 ...so we should prank call a bunch of policemen... 885 00:46:25,396 --> 00:46:27,648 ...and have pizzas sent to them that they didn't order. 886 00:46:27,898 --> 00:46:31,402 "Viva La Résistance"! 887 00:46:32,862 --> 00:46:34,613 - May I? - What? 888 00:46:34,864 --> 00:46:38,367 Terrance and Phillip are being held in a camp two kilometers from town. 889 00:46:38,617 --> 00:46:41,328 They are to be executed tomorrow during a star-studded USO show. 890 00:46:41,579 --> 00:46:42,455 Tomorrow? 891 00:46:42,705 --> 00:46:44,123 Once the show begins, we'll have an hour... 892 00:46:44,373 --> 00:46:46,667 ...to get them out of their cell and into this clearing. 893 00:46:46,917 --> 00:46:50,212 There, we will rendezvous and take them back to Canada. 894 00:46:50,463 --> 00:46:52,465 Dude, Wendy's new guy is smart. 895 00:46:52,715 --> 00:46:54,759 Meet me at the rendezvous point at 10 p. m. 896 00:46:55,009 --> 00:46:57,845 Sneaking in and breaking them out will be dangerous... 897 00:46:58,095 --> 00:47:00,556 ...so I'll go myself. 898 00:47:00,598 --> 00:47:02,600 No! We're going! 899 00:47:02,850 --> 00:47:06,020 We started "La Résistance". We'll get them and meet at the rendezvous point. 900 00:47:06,270 --> 00:47:08,731 This will be very dangerous. Are you quite sure? 901 00:47:08,981 --> 00:47:09,815 Fuck that! 902 00:47:10,065 --> 00:47:15,905 Do you want that V-chip in you forever? We'll go. Let's run through the plan. 903 00:47:24,455 --> 00:47:29,335 Oh, boy! Military action, Ned! Let's kill us some goddamn Australians! 904 00:47:29,585 --> 00:47:31,712 I think we're fighting Canadians. 905 00:47:31,962 --> 00:47:33,881 Canadians, Australians, what's the difference? 906 00:47:34,131 --> 00:47:38,511 This uniform makes me feel like a tough, brute man, Mr. Hat. 907 00:47:38,761 --> 00:47:40,471 It sure does, Mr. Garrison. 908 00:47:40,721 --> 00:47:42,556 I can't wait for our first shore leave... 909 00:47:42,806 --> 00:47:46,101 ...so I can get me some fucking poon tang. 910 00:47:46,352 --> 00:47:50,439 Pay attention! Tomorrow night is the USO show for all you troops. 911 00:47:50,689 --> 00:47:55,569 There will be celebrities, followed by the execution of Terrance and Phillip. 912 00:47:55,986 --> 00:48:00,032 After the show, we will finally be sending ground troops into Canada. 913 00:48:00,282 --> 00:48:01,408 So let's strategize. 914 00:48:01,659 --> 00:48:03,244 Map! 915 00:48:03,494 --> 00:48:05,537 Our sources have told us that the Canadians... 916 00:48:05,788 --> 00:48:08,666 ...are preparing for our invasion, so we must use caution. 917 00:48:08,916 --> 00:48:11,043 Each battalion has a specific code name and mission. 918 00:48:11,293 --> 00:48:13,420 Battalion 5, raise your hands. 919 00:48:13,671 --> 00:48:16,006 You will be the all-important first attack wave... 920 00:48:16,257 --> 00:48:18,717 ...which we will call "Operation Human Shield". 921 00:48:18,968 --> 00:48:20,052 Wait a minute! 922 00:48:20,302 --> 00:48:23,180 Keep in mind Operation Human Shield will suffer heavy losses. 923 00:48:23,430 --> 00:48:25,266 Battalion 14? 924 00:48:25,516 --> 00:48:28,018 Right. You are Operation Get-Behind-the-Darkies. 925 00:48:28,269 --> 00:48:31,772 You will follow Battalion 5. Try not to get killed, for God's sake. 926 00:48:32,022 --> 00:48:33,816 Are there any questions? 927 00:48:34,066 --> 00:48:34,858 Yes, soldier. 928 00:48:35,109 --> 00:48:37,528 Have you ever heard of the Emancipation Proclamation? 929 00:48:37,778 --> 00:48:39,280 I don't listen to hip-hop. 930 00:48:39,530 --> 00:48:43,534 After that, we will march into the heart of Canada, and we will... 931 00:48:43,784 --> 00:48:45,411 I'm gonna get you! 932 00:48:45,661 --> 00:48:47,955 What's wrong with this thing? 933 00:48:48,205 --> 00:48:49,748 It's fucking Windows 98! 934 00:48:49,999 --> 00:48:52,751 Get Bill Gates in here! 935 00:48:54,962 --> 00:48:58,882 You told us Windows 98 would be faster, with better access to the Internet! 936 00:48:59,133 --> 00:49:01,614 It is faster. Over 5 million... 937 00:49:01,649 --> 00:49:04,096 All right, men, get lots of rest... 938 00:49:04,346 --> 00:49:08,559 ...and prepare to... 939 00:49:10,102 --> 00:49:12,354 After you have Terrance and Phillip, make your way to this ridge. 940 00:49:12,604 --> 00:49:14,523 We will wait for you. But not for long. 941 00:49:14,773 --> 00:49:17,026 So if you're not there at 10, we'll have to leave. 942 00:49:17,276 --> 00:49:20,362 You're brave, but you'll need help from someone who's done this before. 943 00:49:20,612 --> 00:49:23,157 Here's the address of "The Mole". 944 00:49:23,407 --> 00:49:27,244 He is an expert in covert operations. Your first task will be obtaining him. 945 00:49:27,494 --> 00:49:31,999 Get lots of sleep. Tomorrow we will all be risking our lives for freedom. 946 00:49:32,249 --> 00:49:36,754 God has smiled upon you this day 947 00:49:37,004 --> 00:49:41,675 The fate of a nation in your hands 948 00:49:41,925 --> 00:49:44,303 And blessed be the children here 949 00:49:44,553 --> 00:49:47,139 Who fight with all our bravery 950 00:49:47,389 --> 00:49:52,060 Till only the righteous stand 951 00:49:52,311 --> 00:49:55,481 You see the distant flames They bellow in the night 952 00:49:55,731 --> 00:49:58,942 You fight in all our names For what we know is right 953 00:49:59,193 --> 00:50:02,070 And when you all get shot And cannot carry on 954 00:50:02,321 --> 00:50:05,449 Though you die, "La Résistance" lives on 955 00:50:05,699 --> 00:50:08,702 You may get stabbed in the head With a dagger or a sword 956 00:50:08,952 --> 00:50:12,164 You may be burned to death Or skinned alive or worse 957 00:50:12,414 --> 00:50:15,292 But when they torture you You will not feel the need to run 958 00:50:15,542 --> 00:50:18,378 For though you die, "La Résistance" lives on 959 00:50:18,629 --> 00:50:21,548 Blame Canada Blame Canada 960 00:50:21,799 --> 00:50:25,844 Because the country's gone awry Tomorrow night these freaks will fry 961 00:50:26,094 --> 00:50:28,931 Tomorrow night Our lives will change 962 00:50:29,181 --> 00:50:32,100 Tomorrow night We'll be entertained 963 00:50:32,351 --> 00:50:36,021 An execution, what a sight Tomorrow night 964 00:50:36,271 --> 00:50:38,941 Up there, there's so much room Where babies burp and flowers bloom 965 00:50:39,191 --> 00:50:42,194 Tomorrow night up there is doomed And so I will be going soon 966 00:50:42,444 --> 00:50:44,696 Shut your fucking face Uncle fucker 967 00:50:44,947 --> 00:50:48,116 You're a boner-biting bastard Uncle fucker 968 00:50:48,367 --> 00:50:51,578 - Looks like we may be out of luck - Tomorrow night, we're pretty fucked 969 00:50:51,828 --> 00:50:54,331 Why did our mothers start this war What the fuck are they fighting for 970 00:50:54,581 --> 00:50:57,334 When did this song become a marathon 971 00:50:57,584 --> 00:51:00,420 When Canada is dead and gone There'll be no more Celine Dion 972 00:51:00,671 --> 00:51:03,215 They may cut your dick in half And serve it to a pig 973 00:51:03,465 --> 00:51:06,843 And though it hurts, you'll laugh And dance a dickless jig 974 00:51:07,094 --> 00:51:09,471 That's the way it goes In war you're shat upon 975 00:51:09,721 --> 00:51:14,518 Though you die "La Résistance" lives on 976 00:51:25,988 --> 00:51:29,658 I'm so excited. Just one more day until we can take over the world. 977 00:51:29,908 --> 00:51:32,286 I don't know if I can sleep, if you know what I mean. 978 00:51:32,536 --> 00:51:36,248 This book talks about how people communicate differently. 979 00:51:36,498 --> 00:51:39,710 I communicate by wanting you to ask me questions, and you... 980 00:51:39,960 --> 00:51:42,254 That is interesting. Let's fuck! 981 00:51:42,504 --> 00:51:46,883 Saddam, I'm trying to have a nice conversation with you! 982 00:51:47,134 --> 00:51:49,511 Now that is just not appropriate! 983 00:51:49,761 --> 00:51:52,639 Come on, I'm just fucking with you! It's not real! 984 00:51:52,889 --> 00:51:56,768 - Well, that's still not appropriate. - Hey, daddy. 985 00:51:57,019 --> 00:52:00,772 It's not real, either! Come on, guy! 986 00:52:02,172 --> 00:52:03,472 (What's wrong?) 987 00:52:05,944 --> 00:52:08,565 Soon the world will belong to me. 988 00:52:09,166 --> 00:52:11,066 (No, what's wrong, dude?) 989 00:52:11,366 --> 00:52:14,703 It's Saddam. He doesn't nurture my emotions. 990 00:52:14,953 --> 00:52:17,691 He just wants sex and can't learn to communicate. 991 00:52:18,392 --> 00:52:19,491 (Why don't you just fuckin' leave him?) 992 00:52:19,541 --> 00:52:22,377 You're right. I should leave him. I'll tell him... 993 00:52:22,627 --> 00:52:25,172 ..."Saddam, I'm going to Earth to rule alone!" 994 00:52:25,422 --> 00:52:27,593 I'm strong and I don't need him! 995 00:52:27,674 --> 00:52:28,493 (Good for you!) 996 00:52:32,512 --> 00:52:34,514 Today's the day for the USO show 997 00:52:34,765 --> 00:52:36,600 We're so happy we get to go 998 00:52:36,850 --> 00:52:38,852 I don't know but I've been told 999 00:52:39,102 --> 00:52:40,520 Canadian pussy is mighty cold 1000 00:52:40,771 --> 00:52:42,856 Stay in the attic, because if they find you... 1001 00:52:43,106 --> 00:52:46,401 ...they'll put you in a concentration camp. 1002 00:52:46,443 --> 00:52:48,487 Don't worry. We'll put an end to this. 1003 00:52:48,737 --> 00:52:53,533 Then I'll make Mom come home, and we'll all be a family again. 1004 00:53:14,596 --> 00:53:16,431 We need to speak with The Mole. 1005 00:53:16,681 --> 00:53:20,352 I'm sorry. The Mole is grounded. He can't come out and play. 1006 00:53:20,602 --> 00:53:21,645 - What?! - He's a kid? 1007 00:53:21,895 --> 00:53:23,980 He said very naughty things about God. 1008 00:53:24,231 --> 00:53:26,608 Can we just talk to him for five seconds? 1009 00:53:26,858 --> 00:53:31,446 Well, all right. Christophe! 1010 00:53:31,571 --> 00:53:35,283 We're gonna rescue Terrance and Phillip from the USO show... 1011 00:53:35,534 --> 00:53:36,326 Who sent you? 1012 00:53:36,576 --> 00:53:38,245 Gregory! He said you could sneak us in. 1013 00:53:38,495 --> 00:53:40,831 Are you telling me you intend to break into the USO show... 1014 00:53:41,081 --> 00:53:44,167 ...filled with thousands of soldiers and break out Terrance and Phillip? 1015 00:53:44,417 --> 00:53:46,127 I thought it was a stupid idea too. 1016 00:53:46,378 --> 00:53:49,798 We're "La Résistance". We wanna save Terrance and Phillip and stop the war. 1017 00:53:50,048 --> 00:53:52,843 I can't help you. I'm grounded for the next three days. 1018 00:53:53,093 --> 00:53:55,262 So are we. Our parents think we're home right now. 1019 00:53:55,512 --> 00:53:56,888 - Why are you grounded? - Why? 1020 00:53:57,138 --> 00:54:00,141 Because God hates me. He has made my life miserable. 1021 00:54:00,392 --> 00:54:02,936 So I call Him a cocksucking asshole, and I get grounded. 1022 00:54:03,186 --> 00:54:04,896 - So will you help us? - Very well. 1023 00:54:05,146 --> 00:54:08,024 Meet me in the backyard in five minutes. "Viva La Résistance. " 1024 00:54:08,275 --> 00:54:09,985 We'll show God that we won't fucking... 1025 00:54:10,235 --> 00:54:11,653 What? Christophe, get in here! 1026 00:54:11,903 --> 00:54:14,364 Coming, mother. 1027 00:54:14,614 --> 00:54:17,701 I must be strong. I must be strong. 1028 00:54:17,951 --> 00:54:19,786 Saddam, I need to talk to you. 1029 00:54:20,036 --> 00:54:23,790 Get packing, bitch. We have to go! We're running out of time! 1030 00:54:24,040 --> 00:54:27,210 Saddam, sometimes you can love a person very much... 1031 00:54:27,460 --> 00:54:29,212 ...but still know they aren't right for you. 1032 00:54:29,462 --> 00:54:31,047 What are you talking about? 1033 00:54:31,298 --> 00:54:33,550 You treat me like shit! I'm leaving you! 1034 00:54:33,800 --> 00:54:36,553 I'm going up to Earth to rule alone. 1035 00:54:36,803 --> 00:54:38,555 No! No, you can't do that! 1036 00:54:38,805 --> 00:54:40,890 I'm sorry, but I have to be strong. 1037 00:54:41,141 --> 00:54:43,768 Give me another chance! I have to go to Earth! 1038 00:54:44,019 --> 00:54:45,312 You don't have respect for me! 1039 00:54:45,562 --> 00:54:49,566 Sure I do, guy. Please just hear me out. 1040 00:54:52,110 --> 00:54:55,405 Some people say that I'm a bad guy 1041 00:54:55,655 --> 00:54:58,950 They may be right They may be right 1042 00:54:59,200 --> 00:55:02,537 But it's not as if I don't try 1043 00:55:02,787 --> 00:55:05,623 I just fuck up, try as I might 1044 00:55:05,874 --> 00:55:08,001 But I can change, I can change 1045 00:55:08,251 --> 00:55:11,338 I can learn to keep my promises I swear it 1046 00:55:11,588 --> 00:55:13,298 I'll open up my heart And I will share it 1047 00:55:13,548 --> 00:55:16,321 Any minute now, I will be born again 1048 00:55:16,356 --> 00:55:19,095 Yes I can change, I can change 1049 00:55:19,346 --> 00:55:22,182 I know I've been A dirty little bastard 1050 00:55:22,432 --> 00:55:24,559 I like to kill, I like to maim I'm insane, but it's okay 1051 00:55:24,809 --> 00:55:27,354 'Cause I can change 1052 00:55:27,604 --> 00:55:29,856 It's not my fault that I'm so evil 1053 00:55:30,106 --> 00:55:33,401 It's society, society 1054 00:55:33,651 --> 00:55:35,904 You see my parents Were sometimes abusive 1055 00:55:36,154 --> 00:55:38,573 And it made a prick of me 1056 00:55:38,823 --> 00:55:40,700 But I can change, I can change 1057 00:55:40,950 --> 00:55:43,119 What if you remain A sandy little butthole 1058 00:55:43,369 --> 00:55:47,082 Don't be such a twit Mother Teresa won't have shit on me 1059 00:55:47,332 --> 00:55:51,294 Just watch me change Here I go. I'm changing! 1060 00:56:13,858 --> 00:56:15,527 You see, I've really matured. 1061 00:56:15,777 --> 00:56:18,029 All right. 1062 00:56:18,279 --> 00:56:19,948 Come on, we have to hurry. 1063 00:56:20,198 --> 00:56:22,700 I love you. 1064 00:56:25,120 --> 00:56:27,455 Ladies and gentlemen of the American Army... 1065 00:56:27,705 --> 00:56:30,959 ...welcome to the USO show. 1066 00:56:31,209 --> 00:56:33,920 Get ready for loads of entertainment and fabulous celebrities... 1067 00:56:34,170 --> 00:56:39,634 ...followed immediately by the execution of Terrance and Phillip. 1068 00:56:43,096 --> 00:56:46,724 This is where those military bitches intend to kill Terrance and Phillip. 1069 00:56:46,975 --> 00:56:47,767 Oh, my God! 1070 00:56:48,017 --> 00:56:50,144 God? He is the biggest bitch of them all. 1071 00:56:50,395 --> 00:56:54,614 Hurry. We rendezvous with the other kids at 10. 1072 00:56:54,649 --> 00:56:57,861 You realize we could be grounded for two, even three weeks. 1073 00:56:58,111 --> 00:57:00,363 - We're willing to take that risk. - Let's go. 1074 00:57:00,613 --> 00:57:04,409 And now, here are your hosts for the evening, Sheila Broflovski... 1075 00:57:04,659 --> 00:57:08,246 ...and Big Gay Al. 1076 00:57:08,997 --> 00:57:11,791 Al, tonight is a very special night. Do you know why? 1077 00:57:12,041 --> 00:57:14,836 They're having a sale at Merv's? 1078 00:57:15,086 --> 00:57:18,298 No. Because we're going to abolish Canadian smut. 1079 00:57:18,548 --> 00:57:23,052 That's right, Sheila. Bring out the condemned. 1080 00:57:25,972 --> 00:57:30,560 Today is a great day for democracy! 1081 00:57:30,977 --> 00:57:35,189 This is worse than when you put your dick in my mouth and took a picture. 1082 00:57:35,440 --> 00:57:36,858 I know, Terrance. I know. 1083 00:57:37,108 --> 00:57:41,279 While you're getting set up over there, let's bring out our first act: 1084 00:57:41,529 --> 00:57:45,533 Yippie, the back-flipping dog! 1085 00:57:56,502 --> 00:57:59,130 Be careful not to touch this wire. 1086 00:57:59,380 --> 00:58:01,299 Motherfuck... 1087 00:58:01,549 --> 00:58:04,594 Fuck. 1088 00:58:08,473 --> 00:58:11,726 The show has started. We're running out of time. 1089 00:58:11,976 --> 00:58:13,061 Do you see Terrance and Phillip? 1090 00:58:13,311 --> 00:58:15,688 Yes, but they are heavily guarded. 1091 00:58:15,938 --> 00:58:17,440 Dig from here, so as not to be seen. 1092 00:58:17,690 --> 00:58:20,735 Come on, bitches. 1093 00:58:20,818 --> 00:58:22,570 Mole, do you know where the clitoris is? 1094 00:58:22,820 --> 00:58:23,905 - The what? - The clitoris. 1095 00:58:24,155 --> 00:58:26,532 I have to find it, so I can get Wendy to like me. 1096 00:58:26,783 --> 00:58:28,409 Stop thinking with your dick! 1097 00:58:28,659 --> 00:58:30,995 Be on your toes, because I won't be grounded again! 1098 00:58:31,245 --> 00:58:33,081 Not for you! Not for anybody! 1099 00:58:33,331 --> 00:58:36,167 Men, when you're out there in the battlefield... 1100 00:58:36,417 --> 00:58:38,669 ...and you're looking into the beady eyes of a Canadian... 1101 00:58:38,920 --> 00:58:41,631 ...as he charges you with his hockey stick or whatever he has... 1102 00:58:41,881 --> 00:58:46,511 ...and people are dying all around you, just remember what the MPAA says: 1103 00:58:46,761 --> 00:58:51,974 "Deplorable violence is okay as long as people don't say any naughty words. " 1104 00:58:52,225 --> 00:58:56,354 That is what this war is all about. 1105 00:58:56,604 --> 00:58:59,357 What? 1106 00:59:00,066 --> 00:59:02,693 Shit! 1107 00:59:03,152 --> 00:59:05,780 Move, move. 1108 00:59:06,656 --> 00:59:09,575 We will split up here. Let's synchronize watches. 1109 00:59:09,826 --> 00:59:11,744 - We don't have watches. - You don't? 1110 00:59:11,994 --> 00:59:13,955 - You didn't say anything about watches. - What do you think this is? 1111 00:59:14,205 --> 00:59:17,542 TV kiddie hour where we sit around and lick Barney the Dinosaur's pussy? 1112 00:59:17,792 --> 00:59:19,627 This is real life, with consequences you take to the grave. 1113 00:59:19,877 --> 00:59:21,420 - We don't have watches. - Shit! 1114 00:59:21,671 --> 00:59:22,839 - Did you bring the mirror? - Got it. 1115 00:59:23,089 --> 00:59:24,257 - And the rope? - Check. 1116 00:59:24,507 --> 00:59:26,259 - And the buttfor? - What's a "buttfor"? 1117 00:59:26,509 --> 00:59:30,054 For pooping, silly. 1118 00:59:30,179 --> 00:59:33,891 I'll dig under the stage. With that bedrock, I'll need more time. 1119 00:59:34,142 --> 00:59:36,686 Stan and Kyle, stall the show anyway you can. 1120 00:59:36,936 --> 00:59:39,814 Keep that show going until I get the prisoners. 1121 00:59:40,064 --> 00:59:41,858 Cartman, over there is the electrical box. 1122 00:59:42,108 --> 00:59:44,694 Shut it off before I return with Terrance and Phillip... 1123 00:59:44,944 --> 00:59:47,488 ...or the alarm will sound and I'll be attacked by dogs. 1124 00:59:47,738 --> 00:59:48,573 Got it? 1125 00:59:48,823 --> 00:59:51,367 You must shut off the alarms. I fucking hate guard dogs! 1126 00:59:51,617 --> 00:59:53,786 I heard you, you British piece of shit. 1127 00:59:54,036 --> 00:59:56,581 If anything goes wrong, make a sound like a dying giraffe. 1128 00:59:56,831 --> 00:59:59,792 What's a dying giraffe sound like? 1129 01:00:02,753 --> 01:00:04,338 - Let's go. - Be careful, dude. 1130 01:00:04,589 --> 01:00:07,216 Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart... 1131 01:00:07,466 --> 01:00:11,888 ...with a clothes hanger, while I was still in the womb? 1132 01:00:14,515 --> 01:00:16,350 Damn, that kid is fucked up. 1133 01:00:16,601 --> 01:00:18,269 How are those chairs coming? 1134 01:00:18,519 --> 01:00:20,563 Al, we're minutes away. 1135 01:00:20,813 --> 01:00:25,818 Super. Here is pint-sized pixie and darling of the indie movie scene... 1136 01:00:26,068 --> 01:00:28,195 ...Winona Ryder! 1137 01:00:28,446 --> 01:00:30,281 Hi, guys. 1138 01:00:30,531 --> 01:00:32,241 I'm super-psyched to be here today. 1139 01:00:32,491 --> 01:00:35,953 What you're doing for our country is so cool. 1140 01:00:36,203 --> 01:00:39,540 I mean war, man. Wow, war. 1141 01:00:39,790 --> 01:00:42,001 You know? Wow. 1142 01:00:42,251 --> 01:00:48,633 Okay, and now for your enjoyment, here's my famous Ping-Pong ball trick. 1143 01:00:55,598 --> 01:00:57,016 Oh, my! 1144 01:00:57,266 --> 01:00:58,976 "Shut off the power, Cartman. " 1145 01:00:59,226 --> 01:01:01,270 "This is very important, Cartman. " 1146 01:01:01,520 --> 01:01:05,858 - Did you hear what Winona Ryder's doing? - We can't miss this. 1147 01:01:08,694 --> 01:01:14,909 There. I didn't miss one. That's my Ping-Pong ball trick! 1148 01:01:16,994 --> 01:01:19,163 That's all the acts we have for tonight... 1149 01:01:19,413 --> 01:01:22,875 ...so let's just get on with the execution! 1150 01:01:23,125 --> 01:01:25,336 - No, we have to stall him. - More! More! 1151 01:01:25,586 --> 01:01:27,088 Yeah! More! 1152 01:01:27,338 --> 01:01:30,132 You big sillies. You want to see more of me? 1153 01:01:30,383 --> 01:01:34,387 Yeah! Big Gay Al! Big Gay Al! 1154 01:01:34,720 --> 01:01:38,057 Well, I do have a little song I wrote about the war. 1155 01:01:38,307 --> 01:01:39,684 But we haven't rehearsed. 1156 01:01:39,934 --> 01:01:41,852 Sing it! 1157 01:01:42,103 --> 01:01:43,062 I can't. 1158 01:01:43,312 --> 01:01:44,772 Sing the fucking song! 1159 01:01:45,022 --> 01:01:47,691 All right. If you insist, I'll sing my song. 1160 01:01:47,942 --> 01:01:51,862 I believe it goes a little bit like this. 1161 01:01:52,571 --> 01:01:54,573 Bombs are flying 1162 01:01:54,824 --> 01:01:56,575 People are dying 1163 01:01:56,826 --> 01:02:00,704 Children are crying Politicians are lying too 1164 01:02:00,955 --> 01:02:03,165 Cancer is killing 1165 01:02:03,416 --> 01:02:05,793 Texaco's spilling 1166 01:02:06,043 --> 01:02:09,630 The whole world's gone to hell But how are you? 1167 01:02:09,880 --> 01:02:12,633 I'm super Thanks for asking 1168 01:02:12,883 --> 01:02:14,468 I couldn't be better 1169 01:02:14,718 --> 01:02:15,970 I must say 1170 01:02:16,220 --> 01:02:17,430 I'm feeling super 1171 01:02:17,680 --> 01:02:19,515 No, nothing bugs me 1172 01:02:19,765 --> 01:02:21,100 Everything is super when you're... 1173 01:02:21,350 --> 01:02:25,312 Don't you think I look cute In this hat 1174 01:02:25,896 --> 01:02:28,649 I'm so sorry, Mr. Cripple 1175 01:02:28,899 --> 01:02:31,610 But I just can't feel too bad For you right now 1176 01:02:31,861 --> 01:02:34,822 Because I'm feeling So insanely super 1177 01:02:35,072 --> 01:02:38,284 That even the fact that you can't walk Can't bring me down 1178 01:02:38,534 --> 01:02:41,370 He's super Thanks for asking 1179 01:02:41,620 --> 01:02:44,456 All things considered He couldn't be better, he must say 1180 01:02:44,707 --> 01:02:45,833 I'm super 1181 01:02:46,083 --> 01:02:48,210 No, nothing bugs me 1182 01:02:48,460 --> 01:02:51,380 Don't you think I look cute in this hat 1183 01:02:51,630 --> 01:02:54,508 These pants This matching tie I got at Merv's 1184 01:02:54,758 --> 01:02:57,011 In the barracks And the trenches as well 1185 01:02:57,261 --> 01:03:00,848 - Stick 'em up! - Big Gay Al says you have to tell 1186 01:03:01,098 --> 01:03:04,018 Yes, he's super And he's proud to be gay 1187 01:03:04,268 --> 01:03:09,607 Everything is super When you're gay 1188 01:03:11,984 --> 01:03:14,528 When you're gay 1189 01:03:15,321 --> 01:03:18,282 Again! Again! 1190 01:03:25,497 --> 01:03:26,366 Who's there? 1191 01:03:26,367 --> 01:03:27,916 (Cartman, can you deliver a message for me, please?) 1192 01:03:27,917 --> 01:03:29,261 Son of a gun! Heck! 1193 01:03:29,262 --> 01:03:30,710 (Just tell them that they're coming right now.) 1194 01:03:30,711 --> 01:03:31,755 They're coming? 1195 01:03:31,756 --> 01:03:33,004 (Yes, they're coming, right now! They're coming!) 1196 01:03:33,005 --> 01:03:34,634 But our moms won't listen to us. 1197 01:03:34,635 --> 01:03:37,345 (I'm telling you for the last time: They're coming!) 1198 01:03:40,930 --> 01:03:46,310 Okay, everybody, just want to thank our wonderful sponsors... 1199 01:03:46,477 --> 01:03:47,519 He's almost got them. 1200 01:03:47,770 --> 01:03:50,522 We're here to rescue you. Follow me through the tunnel. 1201 01:03:50,773 --> 01:03:53,275 You guys! Seriously. I saw Kenny again. 1202 01:03:53,525 --> 01:03:56,946 Did you shut the alarm off? 1203 01:03:58,572 --> 01:04:01,075 Oh, shit! 1204 01:04:01,325 --> 01:04:05,120 Hear that? Sounds like a dying giraffe. 1205 01:04:05,371 --> 01:04:06,121 Shit! 1206 01:04:06,372 --> 01:04:09,124 - A spy! - Get him! 1207 01:04:09,375 --> 01:04:12,628 Shit! Shit! 1208 01:04:14,672 --> 01:04:16,131 Come on, Mole! 1209 01:04:16,382 --> 01:04:19,593 Shit! Shit! Fucking guard dogs! Shit! 1210 01:04:19,843 --> 01:04:21,261 The alarms went off. 1211 01:04:21,512 --> 01:04:23,347 That was my bad. Sorry. 1212 01:04:23,597 --> 01:04:25,641 Hold me. It's so very cold. 1213 01:04:25,891 --> 01:04:27,685 There is no hope. Get out. 1214 01:04:27,935 --> 01:04:29,937 - We can't leave without you. - It's okay. 1215 01:04:30,187 --> 01:04:32,439 No, we can't. We don't know where we are! 1216 01:04:32,690 --> 01:04:34,692 Where's your God when you need him? 1217 01:04:34,942 --> 01:04:38,028 Where is your beautiful, merciful faggot now? 1218 01:04:38,278 --> 01:04:39,238 Here I come, God. 1219 01:04:39,488 --> 01:04:41,198 Here I come, you fucking rat. 1220 01:04:41,448 --> 01:04:43,992 Now the light she fades 1221 01:04:44,243 --> 01:04:47,287 And darkness settles in 1222 01:04:47,538 --> 01:04:49,206 But I will find strength 1223 01:04:49,456 --> 01:04:52,042 - No, Mole, hang on. - I will find pride within 1224 01:04:52,292 --> 01:04:54,920 - We'll get you home. - Because although I die 1225 01:04:55,170 --> 01:04:57,840 - I can't face my mother. - Our freedom will be won 1226 01:04:58,090 --> 01:04:59,049 Not alone. 1227 01:04:59,299 --> 01:05:01,593 Though I die 1228 01:05:01,844 --> 01:05:04,972 "La Résistance" lives... 1229 01:05:05,222 --> 01:05:07,891 ...on 1230 01:05:18,068 --> 01:05:19,236 Shit! 1231 01:05:19,486 --> 01:05:25,325 Okay, here it is. The moment we've all been awaiting: The execution! 1232 01:05:28,662 --> 01:05:31,748 The day is ours! 1233 01:05:31,999 --> 01:05:34,460 We have to tell them about Saddam Hussein and Satan. 1234 01:05:34,710 --> 01:05:38,422 - No. My mom can't see me here. - You have to stand up to your mother. 1235 01:05:38,672 --> 01:05:41,633 Gentlemen, do you have any last words? 1236 01:05:41,884 --> 01:05:45,345 Last words? How's aboot, "Get me the fuck out of this chair!" 1237 01:05:45,596 --> 01:05:46,555 How's that? 1238 01:05:46,805 --> 01:05:50,726 All right, anonymous, ready the switch. 1239 01:05:50,976 --> 01:05:53,562 Wait! 1240 01:05:55,772 --> 01:05:57,274 Go on, dude, tell her. 1241 01:05:57,524 --> 01:06:00,068 - I can't. - You can't kill Terrance and Phillip. 1242 01:06:00,319 --> 01:06:05,115 If they die, Satan and Saddam Hussein will take over the world. 1243 01:06:08,493 --> 01:06:10,495 Throw the switch, Mr. Garrison. 1244 01:06:10,746 --> 01:06:14,708 I'm supposed to be anonymous. 1245 01:06:14,791 --> 01:06:17,878 Goodbye, bastards! 1246 01:06:25,177 --> 01:06:28,639 The Canadians are attacking! Run for your lives! 1247 01:06:28,889 --> 01:06:31,558 We have to shut off the power! 1248 01:06:31,808 --> 01:06:34,603 Fuck! 1249 01:06:34,811 --> 01:06:38,106 Some little fat kid saved us! 1250 01:06:43,111 --> 01:06:47,824 Wait! We have to get you to the rendezvous point. 1251 01:06:49,826 --> 01:06:52,996 Ned, behind you! 1252 01:07:09,930 --> 01:07:12,265 Be not afraid. 1253 01:07:12,516 --> 01:07:13,433 Oh, my God! 1254 01:07:13,684 --> 01:07:15,644 Behold my glory. 1255 01:07:15,894 --> 01:07:17,020 What are you? 1256 01:07:17,270 --> 01:07:19,272 I am the clitoris. 1257 01:07:19,523 --> 01:07:21,775 The clitoris? I found the clitoris! 1258 01:07:22,025 --> 01:07:26,321 Stan, you must not let Terrance and Phillip's blood spill on the ground. 1259 01:07:26,571 --> 01:07:28,365 Tell me how to get Wendy to like me. 1260 01:07:28,615 --> 01:07:30,659 There are more important matters right now. 1261 01:07:30,909 --> 01:07:34,371 I looked all over for you. Tell me how to get Wendy to like me. 1262 01:07:34,621 --> 01:07:37,207 Dude, just have confidence in yourself. 1263 01:07:37,457 --> 01:07:39,835 Believe in yourself, and others will believe in you. 1264 01:07:40,085 --> 01:07:42,838 Chicks love confidence. Now go. Hurry! 1265 01:07:43,088 --> 01:07:45,632 The clitoris has spoken. 1266 01:07:45,882 --> 01:07:47,175 Stan, are you okay? 1267 01:07:47,426 --> 01:07:52,180 I see you failed. I should not have sent a boy to do a man's job. 1268 01:07:52,431 --> 01:07:56,685 Come on! We've got precious little time! 1269 01:07:58,520 --> 01:08:02,149 Die, Canadian, m'kay? 1270 01:08:04,067 --> 01:08:05,569 Did you hear that? I farted. 1271 01:08:05,819 --> 01:08:08,739 You did? Just now? 1272 01:08:08,989 --> 01:08:11,783 - Terrance and Phillip! - Let's get to the rendezvous point! 1273 01:08:12,033 --> 01:08:13,577 It's Mr. Garrison. 1274 01:08:13,827 --> 01:08:19,082 Children, take Mr. Hat. Please get him out of here. 1275 01:08:19,332 --> 01:08:22,919 Holy shit! This V-chip is getting all screwy. 1276 01:08:23,170 --> 01:08:24,838 Take cover in the trench! 1277 01:08:25,088 --> 01:08:29,301 Human Shield up front, then Operation Get-Behind-the-Darkies. 1278 01:08:29,551 --> 01:08:34,556 Remember, Human Shield, protect our tanks and planes too. 1279 01:08:37,476 --> 01:08:38,977 Holy mother of Jehoshaphat! 1280 01:08:39,227 --> 01:08:40,061 Fire on my command. 1281 01:08:40,312 --> 01:08:43,565 All right, squad, just like I told you. 1282 01:08:43,815 --> 01:08:46,234 One... two... 1283 01:08:46,485 --> 01:08:48,111 Do some people gonna die? 1284 01:08:48,361 --> 01:08:50,530 - Fire! ... three! 1285 01:08:50,780 --> 01:08:52,449 What in the... 1286 01:08:52,699 --> 01:08:53,783 Great plan, Chef. 1287 01:08:54,034 --> 01:08:57,370 Operation Human Shield, my ass! 1288 01:08:58,872 --> 01:09:00,957 My God, this is terrible. 1289 01:09:01,208 --> 01:09:02,876 This is what we wanted! 1290 01:09:03,126 --> 01:09:07,130 We wanted our children to be brought up in a smut-free environment! 1291 01:09:07,380 --> 01:09:09,508 But we didn't want this. 1292 01:09:09,758 --> 01:09:11,259 Where are you going? 1293 01:09:11,510 --> 01:09:13,261 We're going to find our boys. 1294 01:09:13,512 --> 01:09:18,600 For God's sake, Sheila, we're going to get them killed! 1295 01:09:22,771 --> 01:09:25,232 All those times I said you were a big dumb Jew? 1296 01:09:25,482 --> 01:09:28,151 I didn't mean it. You're not a Jew. 1297 01:09:28,401 --> 01:09:30,570 Yes, I am! I am a Jew, Cartman! 1298 01:09:30,820 --> 01:09:33,406 Don't be so hard on yourself. 1299 01:09:33,657 --> 01:09:35,909 Why am I still holding this? 1300 01:09:36,159 --> 01:09:37,786 Mr. Hat! No! 1301 01:09:38,036 --> 01:09:40,872 Fuck this. I'm getting out before I get in trouble. 1302 01:09:41,122 --> 01:09:42,999 I heard that. 1303 01:09:43,250 --> 01:09:46,211 I found the clitoris. Now I can get Wendy to like me again. 1304 01:09:46,461 --> 01:09:47,337 Swell, Stan. 1305 01:09:47,587 --> 01:09:51,758 I guess all's well that ends well. We can go home now. Dipshit. 1306 01:09:52,008 --> 01:09:52,968 What's wrong? 1307 01:09:53,218 --> 01:09:58,265 We can't let Terrance and Phillip die, or the whole world will end. 1308 01:09:58,515 --> 01:09:59,516 Terrance, look! 1309 01:09:59,766 --> 01:10:00,600 There they are! 1310 01:10:00,850 --> 01:10:02,394 Phillip, we're done for! 1311 01:10:02,644 --> 01:10:04,646 All right, men! Fire! 1312 01:10:04,896 --> 01:10:07,941 Goodbye, Terrance. 1313 01:10:11,278 --> 01:10:12,195 What is this? 1314 01:10:12,445 --> 01:10:13,363 Don't shoot! 1315 01:10:13,613 --> 01:10:19,286 I'll take care of this. Kids, get out of the way now! 1316 01:10:23,665 --> 01:10:25,875 I'm not going to let you kill them, Mom! 1317 01:10:26,126 --> 01:10:27,085 What, what, what? 1318 01:10:27,335 --> 01:10:30,880 I'm not moving! 1319 01:10:31,256 --> 01:10:34,551 Stand down. You can still see fart jokes on Nickelodeon. 1320 01:10:34,801 --> 01:10:37,012 No! This is about more than fart jokes! 1321 01:10:37,262 --> 01:10:39,889 This is about freedom of speech, about censorship... 1322 01:10:40,140 --> 01:10:42,017 ...and stuff. 1323 01:10:42,267 --> 01:10:47,188 What about Ike? Did you forget your adopted son is Canadian? 1324 01:10:48,273 --> 01:10:50,900 I'm doing very important things. 1325 01:10:51,151 --> 01:10:53,445 But you never took the time to talk to me. 1326 01:10:53,695 --> 01:10:56,781 Whenever I get in trouble, you blame everybody else. 1327 01:10:57,032 --> 01:10:59,409 But I'm the one to blame. Deal with me. 1328 01:10:59,659 --> 01:11:01,786 You keep fighting all these causes. 1329 01:11:02,037 --> 01:11:03,538 But I don't want a fighter. 1330 01:11:03,788 --> 01:11:06,916 I want my mom. 1331 01:11:09,335 --> 01:11:12,297 Poor little fella! 1332 01:11:16,551 --> 01:11:17,635 Holy shit, dude! 1333 01:11:17,886 --> 01:11:20,930 Young man, you watch your mouth! 1334 01:11:28,062 --> 01:11:29,898 My time has come! 1335 01:11:30,148 --> 01:11:32,317 You are really fucked now! 1336 01:11:32,567 --> 01:11:36,362 It's Saddam Hussein! Shoot him! 1337 01:11:36,446 --> 01:11:38,865 What a dumb ass! 1338 01:11:41,409 --> 01:11:43,703 You have spilled the blood of the innocent. 1339 01:11:43,953 --> 01:11:46,790 Now begins 2 million years of darkness. 1340 01:11:47,040 --> 01:11:49,334 Good job, Ms. Broflovski. Thanks a lot. 1341 01:11:49,584 --> 01:11:52,837 I was trying to make the world a better place for children. 1342 01:11:53,087 --> 01:11:56,424 And you brought enough intolerance to allow my coming. 1343 01:11:56,674 --> 01:12:01,054 Now, everyone bow down to me! 1344 01:12:02,597 --> 01:12:03,681 Bend over! 1345 01:12:03,932 --> 01:12:05,767 What have we done? 1346 01:12:06,017 --> 01:12:08,728 Saddam, I'm the dark ruler, not you. 1347 01:12:08,978 --> 01:12:11,106 Relax. Better seen, not heard. 1348 01:12:11,107 --> 01:12:12,231 (Satan, you gotta do something!) 1349 01:12:12,232 --> 01:12:13,316 I can't. 1350 01:12:13,566 --> 01:12:15,860 Let's start by building a big statue of me! 1351 01:12:16,110 --> 01:12:18,154 There, where that fat kid is standing. 1352 01:12:18,404 --> 01:12:22,242 Don't call me fat, buttfucker! 1353 01:12:26,788 --> 01:12:28,414 Yeah, Cartman, do it. 1354 01:12:28,665 --> 01:12:33,002 Damn! Shit! Respect my fucking authority! 1355 01:12:34,379 --> 01:12:37,048 You need to watch your mouth, brat! 1356 01:12:37,298 --> 01:12:40,885 Dogshit taco! 1357 01:12:43,721 --> 01:12:45,139 Quick, do something. 1358 01:12:45,390 --> 01:12:47,642 Try this on for size. 1359 01:12:47,892 --> 01:12:52,438 Blood-drenched, frozen tampon popsicle! 1360 01:12:53,189 --> 01:12:59,362 Buddy, I know I was mean before. But don't worry, I can change. 1361 01:13:01,990 --> 01:13:03,992 Not! 1362 01:13:04,242 --> 01:13:06,369 Fuck, shit, cock, ass, titties, boner... 1363 01:13:06,619 --> 01:13:12,250 ...bitch, muff, pussy, cunt, butthole, Barbra Streisand! 1364 01:13:16,254 --> 01:13:19,382 What are you waiting for, bitch? Destroy him! 1365 01:13:19,632 --> 01:13:21,718 You weak, stupid cum bucket. Save me! 1366 01:13:21,968 --> 01:13:23,678 That's it! 1367 01:13:23,928 --> 01:13:28,433 I have had enough of you! 1368 01:13:40,486 --> 01:13:44,866 He spent so much time convincing me I was weak and stupid... 1369 01:13:45,116 --> 01:13:46,868 ...that I believed it myself. 1370 01:13:47,118 --> 01:13:49,120 I have you to thank, little one. 1371 01:13:49,370 --> 01:13:51,873 You showed me that I had to get away from him. 1372 01:13:52,123 --> 01:13:55,669 Just make any wish you want and I shall grant it. 1373 01:13:55,670 --> 01:13:57,995 (I want everything to go back to the way it was before.) 1374 01:13:58,296 --> 01:14:00,214 - Are you sure? - What did he say? 1375 01:14:00,465 --> 01:14:04,761 His wish is for everything to go back to the way it was before this war. 1376 01:14:05,011 --> 01:14:08,222 Kenny, you realize that means you'd go back too. 1377 01:14:08,473 --> 01:14:10,400 (I know. but I learned something today. In the end...) 1378 01:14:12,400 --> 01:14:15,800 (...and I knew I had to do it for all the lives in the world.) 1379 01:14:18,024 --> 01:14:19,108 Very well, then. 1380 01:14:19,358 --> 01:14:21,110 I will pull my minions back. 1381 01:14:21,360 --> 01:14:26,074 I guess I'm destined to live in hell alone. 1382 01:14:26,324 --> 01:14:27,116 Hello. 1383 01:14:27,366 --> 01:14:28,618 What's this? 1384 01:14:28,868 --> 01:14:31,037 Hi, there, little guy. 1385 01:14:31,287 --> 01:14:33,456 Would you like to go to hell with me? 1386 01:14:33,706 --> 01:14:37,460 Sure. I bet we can be best friends, Mr. Satan. 1387 01:14:37,710 --> 01:14:40,213 Feel free to come back and visit anytime. 1388 01:14:40,463 --> 01:14:42,423 I just might do that. 1389 01:14:42,673 --> 01:14:43,341 Thanks, Kenny. 1390 01:14:43,591 --> 01:14:48,095 Thanks for going back to hell for us. You're a pal. 1391 01:14:51,098 --> 01:14:54,227 Goodbye, you guys. 1392 01:15:05,363 --> 01:15:07,114 I'm alive. Where's Mr. Hat? 1393 01:15:07,365 --> 01:15:11,494 Wow. We were all dying and now we're fine. That's super! 1394 01:15:11,744 --> 01:15:14,831 What the fuck's going on? 1395 01:15:17,667 --> 01:15:21,712 See, Mom? It was Cartman's filthy fucking mouth that saved us all. 1396 01:15:21,963 --> 01:15:26,551 I'm sorry I didn't pay attention to you, Kyle. 1397 01:15:27,468 --> 01:15:28,845 But what about Gregory? 1398 01:15:29,095 --> 01:15:31,347 - I never cared for Gregory. - You didn't? 1399 01:15:31,597 --> 01:15:34,725 No, dude. Fuck Gregory! Fuck him right in the ear! 1400 01:15:34,976 --> 01:15:36,060 Thank you, clitoris. 1401 01:15:36,310 --> 01:15:39,730 Everything worked out What a happy end 1402 01:15:39,981 --> 01:15:43,901 Americans and Canadians Are friends again 1403 01:15:44,151 --> 01:15:48,114 So let's all join hands And knock oppression down 1404 01:15:48,364 --> 01:15:51,033 Don't you know our little lives Are now complete? 1405 01:15:51,284 --> 01:15:53,494 'Cause Terrance and Phillip Are sweet 1406 01:15:53,744 --> 01:15:54,537 Super sweet 1407 01:15:54,787 --> 01:15:59,083 Thank God we live in this Quiet little pissant 1408 01:15:59,333 --> 01:16:01,002 Redneck podunk jerkwater 1409 01:16:01,252 --> 01:16:04,714 Greenhorn one-horse mudhole Peckerwood right-wing whistle-stop 1410 01:16:04,964 --> 01:16:07,717 Hobnail truck-driving Old-fashioned hayseed inbred 1411 01:16:07,967 --> 01:16:09,927 Unkempt out-of-date White trash 1412 01:16:10,177 --> 01:16:15,474 Kick-ass! Mountain... 1413 01:16:15,509 --> 01:16:20,021 ...town! 1414 01:16:20,855 --> 01:16:23,482 Look!