1
00:00:11,840 --> 00:00:13,990
1st month
2
00:00:16,832 --> 00:00:19,113
3rd month
3
00:00:21,789 --> 00:00:24,037
5th month
4
00:00:26,832 --> 00:00:29,138
7th month
5
00:00:31,792 --> 00:00:33,716
9th month
6
00:00:34,054 --> 00:00:35,781
Enjoy your meal.
7
00:00:41,159 --> 00:00:43,192
Now push!
8
00:00:43,599 --> 00:00:45,305
Push!
9
00:00:48,115 --> 00:00:49,883
Good. Like that.
10
00:00:51,035 --> 00:00:54,871
Yes. Just keep on pushing nicely!
11
00:00:54,937 --> 00:00:56,948
We'll be done in no time.
12
00:00:58,184 --> 00:01:04,257
Who are the real-world Illuminati ?
Find out @ saveanilluminati.com
13
00:01:09,641 --> 00:01:12,063
Oh, and we're done!
14
00:01:12,064 --> 00:01:13,783
Congratulations!
15
00:01:13,818 --> 00:01:17,004
But what is it, doctor, sir?
What is it?
16
00:01:20,878 --> 00:01:22,319
It's an asshole.
17
00:01:22,320 --> 00:01:24,753
Barely twelve years later...
18
00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:48,752
I am the devil, baby,
19
00:01:49,022 --> 00:01:52,425
I want to burn you, baby,
20
00:01:52,653 --> 00:01:55,932
It's boiling hot here, baby,
21
00:01:56,131 --> 00:01:59,256
so do not dress too warmly, baby.
22
00:01:59,257 --> 00:02:02,784
The thing that would suit you the
best right now is a tiny sin.
23
00:02:02,785 --> 00:02:05,815
Little Asshole
Sin! We want to sin,
24
00:02:05,816 --> 00:02:10,063
denounce the heavens and
then sin some more,
25
00:02:10,064 --> 00:02:13,504
and for our wrongdoings
26
00:02:15,085 --> 00:02:17,842
to burn here forever.
27
00:02:33,132 --> 00:02:36,050
Sin! We want to sin,
28
00:02:36,051 --> 00:02:40,319
denounce the heavens and
then sin some more,
29
00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:43,685
I'm one little asshole, baby,
30
00:02:43,926 --> 00:02:47,184
one tiny devil, baby,
31
00:02:47,565 --> 00:02:51,029
you're my latest roast chick, baby,
32
00:02:51,030 --> 00:02:54,202
so do not dress too warmly, baby.
33
00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:57,897
The thing that would suit you the
best right now is a tiny sin.
34
00:02:57,898 --> 00:03:00,817
Sin! We want to sin,
35
00:03:00,818 --> 00:03:04,983
denounce the heavens and
then sin some more,
36
00:03:04,984 --> 00:03:07,873
Sin! We want to sin,
37
00:03:07,874 --> 00:03:12,127
denounce the heavens and
then sin some more,
38
00:03:19,169 --> 00:03:22,046
Sin! We want to sin,
39
00:03:22,047 --> 00:03:26,638
denounce the heavens and
then sin some more,
40
00:03:35,365 --> 00:03:37,201
So? What is it?
41
00:03:37,202 --> 00:03:39,162
No fireworks?
42
00:03:47,443 --> 00:03:50,593
Tell me... A-a-a-r-re you normal?
43
00:03:50,890 --> 00:03:57,338
To do, on the World Day of C-c-catholic
Youth, a modern verion of F-f-faust?
44
00:03:57,859 --> 00:04:02,417
Told ya' we'd perform front o'
bunch o'hardcore satanists!
45
00:04:02,663 --> 00:04:04,970
Christians... Satanists...
46
00:04:04,971 --> 00:04:07,286
one gets them mixed up.
- "Mixed up" my ass!
47
00:04:07,287 --> 00:04:09,589
Ah... and there's a difference?
48
00:04:09,590 --> 00:04:14,793
Y-y-you got us into trouble
with your e-e-eyes wide open!
49
00:04:14,794 --> 00:04:16,456
I admit it, boys.
50
00:04:16,457 --> 00:04:20,334
I took this risk...
because I wanted to break boundaries!
51
00:04:20,536 --> 00:04:23,132
Exhort understanding for atheism.
52
00:04:23,133 --> 00:04:25,766
Unite. Reconcile.
53
00:04:26,147 --> 00:04:28,401
And in turn, they molest us!
54
00:04:28,569 --> 00:04:30,917
But I'm used to being trampled.
55
00:04:30,918 --> 00:04:32,985
Us too!
- Us too!
56
00:04:37,197 --> 00:04:39,074
Dear diary.
57
00:04:39,293 --> 00:04:44,919
My band's display at the Catholic
Youth Gathering did not go as I hoped.
58
00:04:45,095 --> 00:04:47,069
These are hard times.
59
00:04:47,070 --> 00:04:49,963
Misery and poverty rule in
many countries of the world.
60
00:04:49,964 --> 00:04:53,427
Wars are being waged. Contagious
diseases threaten our humanity.
61
00:04:53,557 --> 00:04:58,360
And if I mess up my biology class
assignment, I'll get a G and flunk out.
62
00:04:58,964 --> 00:05:00,949
But I won't give up!
63
00:05:01,133 --> 00:05:03,731
I'll continue my war for a better world
64
00:05:03,732 --> 00:05:07,135
until all of humanity starts to
sing and hug each other.
65
00:05:08,088 --> 00:05:10,552
But, listen... what's going on here?
66
00:05:10,928 --> 00:05:15,283
I must do a routine check,
my dear diary.
67
00:05:27,234 --> 00:05:29,003
Enjoy your meal!
- Yeah, yeah, yeah!
68
00:05:29,004 --> 00:05:32,057
No!
- Oh, shit!
69
00:05:32,058 --> 00:05:34,251
W-what are you doing here?
70
00:05:34,252 --> 00:05:36,495
I was worried, mother.
71
00:05:36,638 --> 00:05:38,876
I heard some strange noises.
72
00:05:38,877 --> 00:05:41,344
Sounded like sick animals are vomiting.
73
00:05:41,345 --> 00:05:44,848
We aren't animals!
- Dad and I were just about to...
74
00:05:44,849 --> 00:05:46,953
make the bed... and...
75
00:05:47,003 --> 00:05:51,558
A-ha. But, mother I know
what the deal is here.
76
00:05:51,694 --> 00:05:55,240
Don't be shy.
I'm built like that.
77
00:05:55,588 --> 00:05:58,206
I'm the fruit of your womb.
78
00:05:58,691 --> 00:06:00,100
Ah...
79
00:06:00,101 --> 00:06:05,948
Yeah, yeah. Father thrusted his penis
into your vulva, I mean, pussy.
80
00:06:05,983 --> 00:06:10,614
You can do it from the back too; a tergo
as you just impressively demonstrated.
81
00:06:10,615 --> 00:06:14,542
Although the Catholic Church doesn't
take kindly to it. Oh, man!
82
00:06:14,543 --> 00:06:17,012
At the peak of his sexual efforts,
83
00:06:17,013 --> 00:06:21,284
he put his seed, a slimey fluid
from the mucuous system,
84
00:06:21,285 --> 00:06:26,030
tasting like a low-calory
salad, into you.
85
00:06:28,303 --> 00:06:32,056
His sperm, those agile and jolly lads,
86
00:06:32,108 --> 00:06:35,265
then found their way to the uterus,
where one of them,
87
00:06:35,266 --> 00:06:39,772
the most keen one,
merged with a female egg.
88
00:06:40,679 --> 00:06:44,146
And in there, swimming in the amniotic
fluid and feeding on the placenta,
89
00:06:44,147 --> 00:06:50,411
the embrio grows; faceless and small at
first, it unrelentlessly grows in scale,
90
00:06:50,417 --> 00:06:55,638
and barely nine months after what
may have been a spontaneous act of lust,
91
00:06:55,726 --> 00:06:58,502
a new human is born.
92
00:06:58,692 --> 00:07:04,679
That's how I came to be.
Your son. The miracle of life.
93
00:07:05,229 --> 00:07:11,404
Do go on. The female salivary flora
supposedly peaks in these hours.
94
00:07:11,947 --> 00:07:14,005
Huh?
- What?
95
00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:17,204
Eh.. should we continue?
96
00:07:17,385 --> 00:07:19,578
I don't know.
97
00:07:19,758 --> 00:07:23,893
Tell me... are you on pills
at the moment? - No.
98
00:07:24,487 --> 00:07:27,274
Well... let's rather not then.
99
00:07:31,972 --> 00:07:34,905
Where, the hell are my red...?
- Enjoy your meal!
100
00:07:34,906 --> 00:07:37,769
You old pig!
Can't you knock?
101
00:07:37,770 --> 00:07:43,024
Why are you covering up your nudity?
You're my sister. I don't yearn for you.
102
00:07:43,059 --> 00:07:46,896
That would be the last thing I need!
Now what is it you want?!
103
00:07:47,288 --> 00:07:50,284
I'm bringing you your share.
Here.
104
00:07:50,285 --> 00:07:52,809
Share? What share?
105
00:07:52,810 --> 00:07:56,705
Five tomes of "Tex, the brave horseman"
comics, in mint condition.
106
00:07:56,706 --> 00:07:59,511
"Tex, the brave horseman"?
- Exactly.
107
00:07:59,512 --> 00:08:02,169
Keeper of the law in the lawless ages!
108
00:08:02,357 --> 00:08:04,041
A guy with a big hat... I mean...
109
00:08:04,042 --> 00:08:07,544
A guy with a small hat, but a big heart.
Horizontally oriented.
110
00:08:07,594 --> 00:08:09,108
What am I to do with this crap?
111
00:08:09,109 --> 00:08:11,926
Oh, now now.
No need to thank me.
112
00:08:11,980 --> 00:08:14,179
I traded them for your red panties.
113
00:08:14,180 --> 00:08:16,989
With my friend Kalle Klammroth.
- You... what?!
114
00:08:17,014 --> 00:08:22,352
You traded my panties for five tomes
of "The Brave Horseman"?
115
00:08:22,353 --> 00:08:25,418
Ten in total!
Five for you, five for me.
116
00:08:25,419 --> 00:08:29,849
Are you nuts? Those were 'Malizia'
panties, they cost me fourty bucks!
117
00:08:29,850 --> 00:08:32,255
Don't gloom over the trade value now.
118
00:08:32,256 --> 00:08:34,950
They'll be worth a fortune
in 20 or 30 years!
119
00:08:34,951 --> 00:08:38,187
Oh, is that right? And what's that
little bastard doing with my panties?
120
00:08:38,188 --> 00:08:41,919
Well, he'll jack off into them.
He loves you. - What?!
121
00:08:42,069 --> 00:08:47,599
You're saying the pimpled idiot sits in
his room, onanating in my best panties?
122
00:08:47,634 --> 00:08:50,632
In the laundry room. Kalle always
onanates in the laundry room.
123
00:08:50,633 --> 00:08:54,327
I don't get it. I just don't get it.
124
00:08:54,436 --> 00:08:58,004
I know. I know how you feel right now.
125
00:08:58,183 --> 00:09:02,153
You feel humiliated, your female honor
being hurt, right?
126
00:09:02,154 --> 00:09:05,420
I understand your pain.
But, I have avenged you!
127
00:09:05,421 --> 00:09:08,032
Well isn't that comforting.
And how is that?
128
00:09:08,033 --> 00:09:10,287
I first peed into them.
129
00:09:10,288 --> 00:09:14,763
And Kalle believed that it was you,
so he gave me two extra comics.
130
00:09:17,315 --> 00:09:20,557
"The intellectual level of
my family compared to my own
131
00:09:20,558 --> 00:09:24,796
is the same as that of a sea sponge
compared to Albert Einsten, dear diary.
132
00:09:25,656 --> 00:09:29,384
They're like animals.
Shameless and full of lust.
133
00:09:29,385 --> 00:09:32,927
You wouldn't believe what I
just caught my parents doing.
134
00:09:33,652 --> 00:09:35,828
My sister isn't any better either.
135
00:09:36,195 --> 00:09:40,744
She shamelessly stretched, in all her
flawless nudity, in front of me.
136
00:09:41,052 --> 00:09:45,269
The light softly refracted on her
perky nipples,
137
00:09:45,270 --> 00:09:48,954
as the pubes on the mound of Venus
tucked between her firm thighs glittered
138
00:09:48,955 --> 00:09:51,783
like a river of liquid silk.
139
00:09:55,724 --> 00:10:01,200
I sometimes feel like a modern R. Crusoe
on an island full of nude savages.
140
00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:04,917
Like a space farer stuck
on the planet of the apes.
141
00:10:05,551 --> 00:10:09,638
There are three things that grant
me the strength to survive this:
142
00:10:09,990 --> 00:10:11,479
the love for music,
143
00:10:11,656 --> 00:10:14,029
the effort for a better world
144
00:10:14,580 --> 00:10:16,753
and Inge Koschmidder.
145
00:10:17,704 --> 00:10:20,850
Yes, dear diary.
I am in love.
146
00:10:21,352 --> 00:10:23,889
In love with an older woman.
147
00:10:24,256 --> 00:10:26,728
It may sound shocking, but...
148
00:10:28,745 --> 00:10:30,953
I must finish, dear diary.
149
00:10:31,217 --> 00:10:33,677
Grandpa needs shaking up.
150
00:10:33,917 --> 00:10:36,822
Excluding me, no one takes
care of the old sack.
151
00:10:40,356 --> 00:10:42,980
I'm not being pushed into taking a walk!
152
00:10:42,981 --> 00:10:47,093
Did you hear the news today?
They found a cure for your cancer type.
153
00:10:47,094 --> 00:10:48,708
What? What?
154
00:10:48,709 --> 00:10:54,659
Heals you in a jiffy, tastes like oral,
kicks in like coke and costs one buck!
155
00:10:54,660 --> 00:10:56,908
And the side-effects?
- It makes you rich and famous.
156
00:10:56,909 --> 00:10:58,553
You've got a mouth on ya, don't you?
157
00:10:58,554 --> 00:11:00,364
Just trying to be nice.
158
00:11:00,365 --> 00:11:02,399
You won't last long anyway.
159
00:11:03,343 --> 00:11:05,651
I'm not in the cemetery yet!
160
00:11:05,652 --> 00:11:08,010
That can change.
161
00:11:08,011 --> 00:11:11,523
Hey? What's all this fuss now?
Where are you taking me?!
162
00:11:11,768 --> 00:11:13,740
Through a shortcut.
163
00:11:13,741 --> 00:11:16,106
I'm not going to the cemetery!
164
00:11:17,423 --> 00:11:19,759
I can't believe it.
165
00:11:19,949 --> 00:11:24,471
Sooner or later we all have to go here.
You sooner, me later.
166
00:11:32,998 --> 00:11:35,056
Cemeteries make me nervous.
167
00:11:35,057 --> 00:11:37,645
Everything comes and passes.
168
00:11:37,646 --> 00:11:40,944
Does it? Does it mean that I don't
pass fast enough for you?
169
00:11:40,945 --> 00:11:43,934
I should try and lie down here, right?
170
00:11:45,646 --> 00:11:49,095
Wait! Stop!
Ow, ow, ow!
171
00:11:49,096 --> 00:11:53,457
Oh, man! Would you look...
at all those maggots and larva!
172
00:11:53,591 --> 00:11:55,971
Scavengers of the earth!
173
00:11:55,972 --> 00:11:58,044
What would happen, I wonder...
- Nice.
174
00:11:58,045 --> 00:12:01,166
if I were to throw this apple inside?
175
00:12:09,114 --> 00:12:11,257
Hey! What's going on there?
176
00:12:11,965 --> 00:12:15,019
Some sort of a burial.
Let's get the hell out of here!
177
00:12:15,020 --> 00:12:18,543
Wait a second. Aren't those
the Möllerdongs... from next door?
178
00:12:18,544 --> 00:12:22,388
Why of course. They're burying
Hubert today, that old fart!
179
00:12:22,389 --> 00:12:26,453
Grandpa! Hubert used to be
your best friend.
180
00:12:27,167 --> 00:12:29,695
Don't speak ill of the dead.
181
00:12:29,696 --> 00:12:33,421
How so? Do you have to earn your
right to croak these days?
182
00:12:33,422 --> 00:12:36,748
Everyone can. Even Hubert!
- The entire Möllerdong family is here.
183
00:12:36,749 --> 00:12:40,110
Nothing surprising.
There's heritage to be had!
184
00:12:41,163 --> 00:12:43,640
My dear, grief-stricken community.
185
00:12:43,641 --> 00:12:49,243
We have gathered here...
- To make sure he's six feet under!
186
00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:57,171
to escort a man, to whom Christian love
for the next of kin was not only known
187
00:12:57,172 --> 00:13:02,927
but practiced by.
- Damn right! Fucked my wife!
188
00:13:03,536 --> 00:13:07,115
My best friend!
- Grandpa...
189
00:13:07,116 --> 00:13:08,550
Well, it's true!
190
00:13:08,551 --> 00:13:12,397
Back when I did the night shifts.
Dirty old pig!
191
00:13:13,729 --> 00:13:17,926
It may be that the deceased
is not without sin,
192
00:13:17,927 --> 00:13:22,606
but who will be the first to cast
the stone, in his final moments?
193
00:13:22,956 --> 00:13:27,300
Me! Me! Get me a stone! I'll do it!
194
00:13:27,301 --> 00:13:30,182
Please now. We're all Christians!
195
00:13:30,183 --> 00:13:34,946
I'm not! I'm out of the Church!
It's been an eternity now!
196
00:13:35,060 --> 00:13:37,193
Come on... let's go!
197
00:13:37,194 --> 00:13:43,098
I'm not paying to spend
an eternity with guys like that!
198
00:13:43,099 --> 00:13:45,317
I wanna go to hell!
199
00:13:45,318 --> 00:13:49,448
Long live Satan! Abraxas!
200
00:13:49,449 --> 00:13:55,978
I must ask you to leave The Lord's
ground now! And never to see you again!
201
00:13:57,445 --> 00:13:59,267
Are you happy now?
202
00:13:59,268 --> 00:14:03,764
Of course. That's exactly how an
atheist imagines immortality.
203
00:14:03,765 --> 00:14:06,916
Barred from entering the cemetery!
204
00:14:12,635 --> 00:14:15,824
"Truth be told, grandpa
packs a strong foul breath...
205
00:14:16,165 --> 00:14:19,113
but otherwise he's, actually,
completely alright.
206
00:14:19,327 --> 00:14:22,300
It's almost a shame that
he has to die soon.
207
00:14:22,301 --> 00:14:24,290
I'll miss him in a way.
208
00:14:24,291 --> 00:14:27,028
But then again, I'll be
getting his big room.
209
00:14:27,029 --> 00:14:28,823
But, where was I?
210
00:14:28,824 --> 00:14:31,505
Ah, yes. Love.
211
00:14:31,990 --> 00:14:35,353
Yes, dear diary. I'm in love.
212
00:14:35,844 --> 00:14:40,973
I had no idea that such a soul state
shuts down logical actions so much.
213
00:14:41,101 --> 00:14:46,472
So much that right now I'm wearing
my dad's C. Klein boxers as a headdress.
214
00:14:46,877 --> 00:14:48,977
I just felt like doing it.
215
00:14:48,978 --> 00:14:51,765
Shit! God damn shit!
216
00:14:51,766 --> 00:14:54,711
"In a way..."
- God damn shit crappy pigs!
217
00:14:54,712 --> 00:14:58,099
Cursed ass!
Shit crappy pigs!
218
00:14:58,100 --> 00:15:03,297
Shit! Where are my pants, you asshole?
- you become immune to bad influences.
219
00:15:03,298 --> 00:15:05,346
A rain forest is dying out in Brasil.
220
00:15:05,347 --> 00:15:07,994
I probably won't finish this grade,
221
00:15:07,995 --> 00:15:12,004
and father is raging across our
house like a battlefield."
222
00:15:12,609 --> 00:15:16,238
Hey! Hey! Hey! Open up!
223
00:15:16,239 --> 00:15:20,394
Where are my pants? Open up!
224
00:15:20,395 --> 00:15:23,013
"But my mind is set on one thing alone."
- I'm gonna...
225
00:15:23,014 --> 00:15:24,804
I'm gonna go insane!
- "On love."
226
00:15:24,805 --> 00:15:27,407
"Love." -Open the doors!
- "Love.
227
00:15:27,771 --> 00:15:31,835
The object of my desire is
...Inge Koschmidder.
228
00:15:32,361 --> 00:15:35,043
Inge is 76 years old,
and a little worn out already.
229
00:15:35,044 --> 00:15:37,896
But, screw the sexual taboos!
230
00:15:37,897 --> 00:15:40,729
Now and then you have to
break the boundaries.
231
00:15:41,344 --> 00:15:44,922
The day before yesterday I
went to Inga to tell her of my love.
232
00:15:55,238 --> 00:15:57,479
It was probably the nerves.
233
00:15:57,839 --> 00:16:01,873
Women tend to hesitate more
than men at those things.
234
00:16:01,999 --> 00:16:04,032
Their heart says "yes"...
235
00:16:04,125 --> 00:16:08,106
but the feminist side of
their brain says "no".
236
00:16:08,107 --> 00:16:11,187
Half an hour later
I rang by at Inga's again.
237
00:16:11,582 --> 00:16:15,144
She had enough time to come
clean with her own emotions.
238
00:16:24,535 --> 00:16:27,541
What a broad!
239
00:16:27,674 --> 00:16:33,638
She was sending me a signal
that way: "Take me! Conquer me!"
240
00:16:34,124 --> 00:16:36,346
And it shall be so.
241
00:16:36,529 --> 00:16:40,146
The offensive starts today.
The attack on Inga's heart.
242
00:16:40,609 --> 00:16:46,031
And the way to a woman's heart leads,
of course, through the... ears."
243
00:17:09,223 --> 00:17:15,596
Do not cry if it's raining,
dam-dam, dam-dam.
244
00:17:16,378 --> 00:17:22,847
There is someone standing there,
dam-dam, dam-dam.
245
00:17:23,582 --> 00:17:27,220
Marble, steel and stone break
246
00:17:27,221 --> 00:17:30,833
but our love, never, nay.
247
00:17:30,834 --> 00:17:34,540
All, all comes to pass,
248
00:17:34,541 --> 00:17:37,803
but we are faithful to ourselves.
249
00:17:37,980 --> 00:17:44,550
If I can't be with you some day,
dam-dam, dam-dam,
250
00:17:45,276 --> 00:17:48,722
remember that you're not alone,
dam-dam, dam-dam.
251
00:17:52,350 --> 00:17:56,011
Marble, steel and stone break
252
00:17:56,012 --> 00:17:59,582
but our love, never, nay.
253
00:17:59,776 --> 00:18:03,269
All, all comes to pass,
254
00:18:03,270 --> 00:18:05,933
but we are faithful to ourselves.
255
00:18:06,781 --> 00:18:13,149
Take this golden ring from me,
dam-dam, dam-dam.
256
00:18:13,890 --> 00:18:20,429
cost a fucking fortune, I'm telling you,
dam-dam, dam-dam.
257
00:18:43,458 --> 00:18:47,582
"And then, sadly, the bloody cops
came up and stopped the show.
258
00:18:50,667 --> 00:18:56,019
They'd love to pin something on me,
but had to let me go for being under 18.
259
00:19:00,270 --> 00:19:02,438
What a day!
260
00:19:02,439 --> 00:19:06,037
But, the social revolutionary
knows not of rest.
261
00:19:06,038 --> 00:19:10,831
I added to my effort's program, among
other things, animal preservation.
262
00:19:10,883 --> 00:19:13,716
Now I just have to take
Peppi out for a walk.
263
00:19:13,717 --> 00:19:17,816
He must be impatiently waiting
for my arrival, flapping his tail.
264
00:19:17,945 --> 00:19:20,151
Atta boy."
265
00:19:20,273 --> 00:19:22,466
Howdy!
266
00:19:27,736 --> 00:19:29,652
Yeah, yeah.
267
00:19:30,191 --> 00:19:32,435
Enjoy the meal, miss Mövenpick!
268
00:19:32,470 --> 00:19:35,897
May I take Peppi for a walk?
- Oh, go ahead.
269
00:19:35,898 --> 00:19:39,302
The old lazy geezer could
do a little bit of running.
270
00:19:39,303 --> 00:19:41,739
Isn't someone getting happy here!
271
00:19:41,904 --> 00:19:45,920
Peppi!
Peppito, where are you?
272
00:19:47,247 --> 00:19:49,987
A-ha! There's the little goof.
273
00:19:52,039 --> 00:19:54,945
But, doin't spoil him too much.
274
00:19:54,946 --> 00:19:58,054
Don't you worry about it,
miss Mövenpick.
275
00:19:59,445 --> 00:20:02,633
Do you know what I dreamt
of last night, Peppi?
276
00:20:02,634 --> 00:20:05,507
I dreamt about having a dog.
277
00:20:05,676 --> 00:20:10,272
A real dog, you know. Not some
borrowed dog without papers, like you.
278
00:20:10,273 --> 00:20:12,673
It was a real dog with a pedigre.
279
00:20:12,841 --> 00:20:14,890
You were in it as well.
280
00:20:14,891 --> 00:20:17,415
My dog devoured you.
281
00:20:18,117 --> 00:20:20,233
A strange dream, isn't it?
282
00:20:21,437 --> 00:20:23,437
See this stick?
283
00:20:23,605 --> 00:20:25,908
A nice stick, huh?
284
00:20:25,909 --> 00:20:30,295
It's actually just an ordinary,
stupid, dry shitty little stick.
285
00:20:30,296 --> 00:20:34,196
But, if I throw it, your animal
instincts will force you to chase it,
286
00:20:34,197 --> 00:20:36,985
gasping at it like you would at
a horny dalmatian bitch!
287
00:20:37,025 --> 00:20:38,795
Fetch the stick!
288
00:20:50,161 --> 00:20:53,874
The oldest dog joke in the world!
Works every time.
289
00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:58,177
That's your flaw. You're too stupid.
290
00:20:58,458 --> 00:21:01,721
That's the reason you fetch us
newspapers too.
291
00:21:01,722 --> 00:21:05,715
A cat would never do that.
Not even a hamster.
292
00:21:08,011 --> 00:21:12,341
Ooh! Look, Peppi.
Your rival's pile.
293
00:21:12,681 --> 00:21:15,967
And, what is it? Call of the wild!
294
00:21:16,137 --> 00:21:18,458
Won't you at least sniff it?
295
00:21:19,418 --> 00:21:23,372
...I guess I gotta wake up
the wolf inside you!
296
00:21:24,221 --> 00:21:29,061
First you have to smell the lead.
It is very important. Like this!
297
00:21:29,062 --> 00:21:32,244
Now you have to place your pile
next to it.
298
00:21:32,356 --> 00:21:34,721
It's called marking the territory.
299
00:21:36,733 --> 00:21:38,411
Peppi, Peppi...
300
00:21:38,412 --> 00:21:42,823
I am honestly concerned
for your natural instincts.
301
00:21:50,138 --> 00:21:52,508
Just look at it, Peppi.
Your sworn enemies!
302
00:21:52,509 --> 00:21:55,208
And they come in threes.
303
00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:13,903
Just look at those sadistical things
torturing that tiny, helpless mouse.
304
00:22:13,904 --> 00:22:16,044
This is your chance for greatness!
305
00:22:16,152 --> 00:22:21,506
Those bastards! But they set up shop
without Superpeppi!
306
00:22:28,550 --> 00:22:32,344
Peppi, Peppi, Peppi...
307
00:22:33,512 --> 00:22:36,017
Do you know what your problem is, Peppi?
308
00:22:36,209 --> 00:22:39,022
You leave your guard too open.
309
00:22:44,333 --> 00:22:47,811
My god, Peppi!
What happened to you?
310
00:22:47,812 --> 00:22:51,690
That's due to his poor reflexes,
miss Mövenpick.
311
00:22:51,847 --> 00:22:55,865
Do you know what I think?
- No. What?
312
00:22:55,866 --> 00:22:59,138
I think your dog watches
too much television.
313
00:22:59,759 --> 00:23:02,764
Ah, there it is lying down!
314
00:23:06,752 --> 00:23:10,934
So, listen up people...
- No! Y-y-you listen up!
315
00:23:11,041 --> 00:23:16,889
One more r-r-ruined performance
and you'll t-t-tour alone!
316
00:23:16,890 --> 00:23:23,632
Exactly! Reciting Salman Rushdie at an
Islamist Fundamentalist meet is crazy!
317
00:23:23,633 --> 00:23:28,076
Damn right it is! I've been given
50 strokes to my bare feet!
318
00:23:28,077 --> 00:23:30,962
I get it, boys. You're displeased.
319
00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:33,816
You yearn for the applause
from the thrilled masses.
320
00:23:34,029 --> 00:23:37,499
I know what you want.
You want fireworks!
321
00:23:37,513 --> 00:23:39,313
F-f-fireworks?!
322
00:23:39,314 --> 00:23:41,703
To d-d-die for!
323
00:23:41,704 --> 00:23:47,273
I want t-t-to not get k-k-kicked
after a performance f-f-for once!
324
00:23:47,469 --> 00:23:50,606
D-d-d-do I ask too m-m-much?
325
00:23:50,607 --> 00:23:52,517
Fear not, boys.
326
00:23:52,676 --> 00:23:54,616
I got it under control this time around.
I swear.
327
00:23:54,617 --> 00:23:59,755
If I c-c-could only see t-t-that!
328
00:24:00,470 --> 00:24:05,585
Are you at least sure that you
picked the right music this time?
329
00:24:05,586 --> 00:24:08,953
Trust in me, boys!
They'll weave chaplets for us!
330
00:24:08,954 --> 00:24:11,883
Beg us for a reprise on their knees!
331
00:24:11,884 --> 00:24:14,472
Sss-s-s-s....
- Swear!
332
00:24:14,473 --> 00:24:16,671
Swear!
- Yeah! Swear!
333
00:24:16,872 --> 00:24:19,181
I swear!
334
00:24:27,989 --> 00:24:30,032
Howdy!
335
00:24:32,391 --> 00:24:35,213
Aren't we all somewhere
336
00:24:35,419 --> 00:24:38,230
like trucks in the night?
337
00:24:38,650 --> 00:24:41,362
On the reoad to nowhere
338
00:24:41,547 --> 00:24:44,011
packing suspicious cargo.
339
00:24:44,316 --> 00:24:47,016
Isn't the highway under us
340
00:24:47,017 --> 00:24:49,874
as a beautiful woman?
341
00:24:50,432 --> 00:24:53,066
So curvy and giving,
342
00:24:53,067 --> 00:24:56,002
as a bare body.
343
00:24:56,397 --> 00:25:01,753
Is life and existence not
just like a country song?
344
00:25:02,274 --> 00:25:04,979
Once out, once inside,
345
00:25:04,980 --> 00:25:07,904
and hard as hardened concrete.
346
00:25:09,756 --> 00:25:12,213
For trucks roar there,
347
00:25:12,214 --> 00:25:15,062
where the country plays,
348
00:25:15,242 --> 00:25:18,048
fools sit in here,
349
00:25:18,049 --> 00:25:20,939
for stupidity loves beer.
350
00:25:20,940 --> 00:25:24,083
I shit on Hank Williams,
351
00:25:24,084 --> 00:25:26,922
I shit on Johnny Cash,
352
00:25:26,923 --> 00:25:30,042
I shit on Dolly Parton,
353
00:25:30,043 --> 00:25:32,928
country makes me sick!
354
00:25:32,929 --> 00:25:35,879
This is an anti-country poem,
355
00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:38,894
an anti-country song.
356
00:25:39,145 --> 00:25:41,971
Everyone who loves some country
357
00:25:42,147 --> 00:25:45,180
has a tiny dong.
358
00:25:45,804 --> 00:25:48,994
"COUNTRY BUNKER"
359
00:25:52,618 --> 00:25:55,760
"I must have a guardian angel,
dear diary.
360
00:25:55,761 --> 00:25:58,820
Otherwise I wouldn't be
the only one unharmed,
361
00:25:58,821 --> 00:26:02,084
while the boys had to
endure this or that fist.
362
00:26:02,885 --> 00:26:06,666
But, maybe that will grant strength
for their later journeys through life.
363
00:26:07,204 --> 00:26:11,820
'He who brushes well in his youth, needs
not comb in his old age', goes a saying.
364
00:26:13,626 --> 00:26:15,936
Half past one.
365
00:26:16,026 --> 00:26:20,623
About time to have a couple of
final sexual experiments.
366
00:26:20,931 --> 00:26:24,018
I might get my first
semen spillage this time.
367
00:26:24,469 --> 00:26:26,718
It would kind of be the time for that.
368
00:26:26,719 --> 00:26:29,520
Kalle Klammroth
already had 24!
369
00:26:29,689 --> 00:26:31,980
At least he says so."
370
00:26:57,572 --> 00:26:59,228
Can you hear that?
371
00:26:59,229 --> 00:27:01,352
The silence? Yees!
372
00:27:01,353 --> 00:27:03,244
It can be heard.
373
00:27:03,245 --> 00:27:06,237
Felt, smelled, tasted!
374
00:27:06,238 --> 00:27:09,812
Aaah! That cosmic silence.
375
00:27:09,998 --> 00:27:12,671
Silence in the forest.
376
00:27:12,685 --> 00:27:14,961
No good-for-nothing objections!
377
00:27:14,962 --> 00:27:18,306
No bad jokes!
Nothing can be heard.
378
00:27:18,336 --> 00:27:23,630
See, before breakfast, I struck
a deal with my favourite son.
379
00:27:23,631 --> 00:27:27,664
Is that right, son?! If he opens
his trap at this table even once,
380
00:27:27,665 --> 00:27:30,562
he'll get slapped so hard
his glasses will fly off!
381
00:27:31,072 --> 00:27:36,191
Good old beating.
Proven authoritary method of raising.
382
00:27:36,497 --> 00:27:39,188
Aaaah, the silence.
383
00:27:39,189 --> 00:27:43,725
Makes a man mistake the simplest
banana müsli for a luncheon!
384
00:27:43,801 --> 00:27:46,543
Enjoy the meal!
- You too!
385
00:27:47,658 --> 00:27:49,658
What?!
W-w-what's that?
386
00:27:49,858 --> 00:27:52,215
I am the voice of the opressed!
387
00:27:52,414 --> 00:27:54,735
I am the scream of the gulag.
388
00:27:55,032 --> 00:27:57,398
The tenor in a quire of captives.
389
00:27:57,399 --> 00:28:01,486
I see you more as good reason
for a big round of whooping!
390
00:28:01,487 --> 00:28:04,465
Wait a minute! There is no mention
of ventriloquism in our contract.
391
00:28:04,466 --> 00:28:07,701
Do you really want to place your
pedagogical authenticity on stake?
392
00:28:08,064 --> 00:28:10,470
There are witnesses! Mhm!
393
00:28:16,245 --> 00:28:18,115
I'll get it.
394
00:28:21,548 --> 00:28:23,323
Tyah, dad.
395
00:28:23,851 --> 00:28:25,701
You got out clean.
396
00:28:28,445 --> 00:28:30,324
Yeah? Hello?
397
00:28:31,054 --> 00:28:35,216
No, this is not a helpline.
You were wrongly rerouted.
398
00:28:35,650 --> 00:28:39,863
But, tell me...
does something ail you?
399
00:28:44,942 --> 00:28:48,888
Oh, shit.
That, of course, sucks.
400
00:28:50,485 --> 00:28:52,202
Yeah. Really.
401
00:28:52,203 --> 00:28:55,738
Your situation seems
quite hopeless.
402
00:28:57,825 --> 00:29:02,710
Sure, sure! I understand completely. You
must see yourself as shit right now.
403
00:29:02,711 --> 00:29:04,619
And rightfully so.
404
00:29:05,340 --> 00:29:09,238
No, no. I wouldn't place any
hope for this matter.
405
00:29:10,463 --> 00:29:12,539
Suicide?!
406
00:29:13,366 --> 00:29:16,577
That would, naturally,
be one way of handling it!
407
00:29:16,827 --> 00:29:21,628
But, please, don't thank me.
I was glad to be of help. Til next time!
408
00:29:21,629 --> 00:29:24,651
Or better so - adieu.
409
00:29:24,652 --> 00:29:26,386
Who was that?
410
00:29:26,649 --> 00:29:30,078
It's all good! It was taken care of.
411
00:29:32,481 --> 00:29:34,161
"Dear diary.
412
00:29:36,239 --> 00:29:38,495
Something terrible happened.
413
00:29:39,190 --> 00:29:44,801
During my morning routine check, when
I passed by Inge Koschmidder's place,
414
00:29:45,075 --> 00:29:48,973
I saw her... talking to
some unknown man.
415
00:29:49,510 --> 00:29:53,027
They lowered their voices
as I walked past them.
416
00:29:53,838 --> 00:29:55,842
That whore!
417
00:29:56,340 --> 00:29:59,239
Cheating on me
in front of my own eyes.
418
00:29:59,240 --> 00:30:02,526
Never have I been that
humiliated in my life before.
419
00:30:02,527 --> 00:30:04,683
The pain is indescribable.
420
00:30:07,704 --> 00:30:13,544
I don't think I'll ever experience
something like love in my life.
421
00:30:13,545 --> 00:30:16,810
All emotion has left me.
422
00:30:16,811 --> 00:30:21,741
I almost wanted to march into
some small, helpless country
423
00:30:21,742 --> 00:30:24,713
and establish a reign of terror there!
424
00:30:31,623 --> 00:30:34,536
But... one doesn't do that.
425
00:30:34,809 --> 00:30:36,609
Still, I will retaliate.
426
00:30:36,610 --> 00:30:39,503
Not by their primitive means...
427
00:30:39,504 --> 00:30:42,140
No. Subtler, with more style.
428
00:30:42,141 --> 00:30:43,823
But, enough of that.
429
00:30:43,848 --> 00:30:46,077
New assignments await.
430
00:30:46,078 --> 00:30:50,080
Instead of Kalle Klammroth,
who is unfortunately disease stricken,
431
00:30:50,081 --> 00:30:52,640
I bring warm meals to invalids."
432
00:31:17,707 --> 00:31:21,363
Enjoy your meal! The young samaritarians
sent me. I brought food.
433
00:31:21,424 --> 00:31:25,361
Lovely.
You're standing in for Kalle?
434
00:31:25,690 --> 00:31:28,546
Place it then, please,
at the table. Alright?
435
00:31:30,733 --> 00:31:35,006
Will you read me newspapers...
while I'm eating?
436
00:31:35,007 --> 00:31:37,518
That's what Kalle always did.
437
00:31:37,755 --> 00:31:43,246
Tell me. Are you really blind, or do you
just want to be catered all the time?
438
00:31:43,427 --> 00:31:46,959
Now listen to me...
of course I'm blind!
439
00:31:47,177 --> 00:31:49,639
That's easy to check.
440
00:31:55,946 --> 00:32:00,494
You're either really blind,
or you don't have any sense of humour.
441
00:32:00,495 --> 00:32:06,512
I. Am. Blind!
- Really? Oh, shit. I'm sorry.
442
00:32:06,943 --> 00:32:09,448
You poor, poor blind man.
443
00:32:09,450 --> 00:32:13,252
I don't need your sympathy!
- Oh, I understand your bitterness.
444
00:32:13,253 --> 00:32:16,502
Let me at least be your eyes
to the world for today.
445
00:32:16,503 --> 00:32:18,422
I'll read a bit.
446
00:32:19,773 --> 00:32:23,217
Whooah! Is she hot!
- What?!
447
00:32:23,218 --> 00:32:27,362
Cute gal, right here
on page two. Check it out!
448
00:32:27,533 --> 00:32:31,275
Oh, excuse me.
I'm so insensitive.
449
00:32:31,580 --> 00:32:33,330
But, here are her measures for you.
450
00:32:33,380 --> 00:32:38,779
98-64-92.
451
00:32:38,870 --> 00:32:42,014
And? Is something moving?
- Mhm?
452
00:32:42,015 --> 00:32:44,973
Blind (false) alarm, so to speak.
453
00:32:46,944 --> 00:32:49,788
You're not easy to please at all.
454
00:32:49,979 --> 00:32:52,022
There... and now I must leave.
455
00:32:52,023 --> 00:32:55,521
You know, you're not the only
invalid that I must make rounds to.
456
00:32:55,892 --> 00:32:58,261
I'm out. Byee!
457
00:32:58,262 --> 00:33:00,685
And I'm already gone.
458
00:33:02,989 --> 00:33:04,262
Boo-!
459
00:33:06,234 --> 00:33:09,182
See, I didn't leave yet.
460
00:33:09,183 --> 00:33:12,188
But now I really must.
Don't let your meal get cold.
461
00:33:12,189 --> 00:33:14,339
It's a fresh mole!
462
00:33:14,340 --> 00:33:19,014
You shitty little bastard!
- Missed me.
463
00:33:21,056 --> 00:33:25,235
"I always took the blind as
optimistical and modern in spirit.
464
00:33:25,236 --> 00:33:28,864
Like Stevie Wonder.
But I was wrong.
465
00:33:29,412 --> 00:33:32,073
But, that's no reason for a person
to get bitter all of a sudden.
466
00:33:32,074 --> 00:33:34,875
Doesn't everyone have
a cross to bear?
467
00:33:34,910 --> 00:33:36,420
Take me, for example.
468
00:33:36,421 --> 00:33:39,532
My biologoy assingment's
deadline draws near.
469
00:33:39,533 --> 00:33:42,665
But still, I don't grieve.
Quite the contrary.
470
00:33:42,979 --> 00:33:47,240
I'll have you know that my
paper is progressing great!
471
00:33:47,241 --> 00:33:48,777
Fuck -> lick -> suck
472
00:33:50,026 --> 00:33:53,976
Not only will my teachers be amazed
and I'll pass the grade
473
00:33:53,977 --> 00:33:58,115
but it will rattle the entire
field of biological of experts!
474
00:33:58,150 --> 00:34:01,215
The theme is human sexuality.
475
00:34:01,260 --> 00:34:03,690
I owe many experiments
to my grandpa,
476
00:34:03,691 --> 00:34:07,388
for piquing my interest, early on,
for this young field of exploration.
477
00:34:07,389 --> 00:34:11,288
For example, I will always
remember fondly the episode
478
00:34:11,382 --> 00:34:14,645
when we tried putting gramps
into a nursing home.
479
00:34:16,676 --> 00:34:18,570
I'n not going to a nursery home!
480
00:34:19,316 --> 00:34:23,193
It's not a nursing home, grandpa,
but an elrderly trust fund.
481
00:34:23,194 --> 00:34:27,740
The only elrderly thrust fun I know
is down between my legs. - Psst!
482
00:34:29,871 --> 00:34:33,562
Get it together, father.
We must leave a good impression.
483
00:34:33,563 --> 00:34:36,814
These guys are picky.
484
00:34:38,223 --> 00:34:42,390
Ah! Our new guest.
Welcome to the "Saint Ann" trust fund.
485
00:34:42,391 --> 00:34:44,586
Good day!
- Enjoy your meal!
486
00:34:44,998 --> 00:34:47,162
Just a few small formalities left.
487
00:34:47,163 --> 00:34:51,203
Which drugs have you been prescribed?
- Morphine!
488
00:34:51,204 --> 00:34:54,002
But, all you have to do
is get ti for me.
489
00:34:54,174 --> 00:34:56,589
I can shoot it myself.
- Uh-huh?
490
00:34:56,590 --> 00:34:58,865
And I don't shit in the bed and all.
Easy to nurse.
491
00:34:58,866 --> 00:35:01,933
I just ocassionally drop out of my
wheelchair and vomit on the carpet.
492
00:35:01,934 --> 00:35:04,491
But, I don't even notice it,
because of the morphine! - Mmm.
493
00:35:04,492 --> 00:35:09,311
Just leave me laying there. Once
the vomit dries up, it can be vacuumed.
494
00:35:11,394 --> 00:35:16,047
Do you have a... hobby?
- Why, of course!
495
00:35:16,048 --> 00:35:19,013
Compulsive masturbation.
496
00:35:19,193 --> 00:35:21,345
What, now?
497
00:35:21,694 --> 00:35:25,658
I mean my old thrust fun.
I grab it with my hands and...
498
00:35:25,731 --> 00:35:29,243
Gramps!
- What's your religion then?
499
00:35:29,244 --> 00:35:32,423
The Church of the Holy Vagina.
- Holy what?!
500
00:35:32,450 --> 00:35:35,575
Vagina!
- Psst! - V-a-g...
501
00:35:35,576 --> 00:35:38,563
Fine, fine!
I know how to spell it.
502
00:35:38,746 --> 00:35:41,229
What kind of a religion is that?
503
00:35:41,230 --> 00:35:45,452
We believe in the imperfect conception.
We think that God is a female,
504
00:35:45,453 --> 00:35:49,296
and with big, fat...
- Gramps!
505
00:35:49,297 --> 00:35:51,817
We even have our burial ceremony!
506
00:35:51,818 --> 00:35:54,796
We trust that the genitals live on.
507
00:35:55,022 --> 00:35:57,096
We bury just the rest of the body.
508
00:35:57,097 --> 00:36:01,578
I'm sorry, but I just saw here that
we're currently fully booked.
509
00:36:01,579 --> 00:36:05,416
Sister Ursula! Would you please
escort the gentlemen to the exit.
510
00:36:05,417 --> 00:36:09,422
Of course.
Please, follow me. This way.
511
00:36:09,423 --> 00:36:13,092
Hell and thunder! A sex goddess!
512
00:36:14,187 --> 00:36:16,207
You're no nurse at all!
513
00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:19,653
You're the goddess of lust!
Hey, hey!
514
00:36:19,812 --> 00:36:22,438
You're the Holy Vagina!
515
00:36:24,033 --> 00:36:26,406
Halt!
- Please...
516
00:36:26,948 --> 00:36:31,731
I don't wanna leave! I want to go
to a nursery home! Please, please!
517
00:36:32,248 --> 00:36:34,626
Oh, shut up already!
518
00:36:35,642 --> 00:36:39,468
"After that, we decided to nurture him
ourselves until he dies. It's cheaper.
519
00:36:39,469 --> 00:36:43,956
And father and mother can steal some
of the drugs that his doctor prescribes.
520
00:36:44,348 --> 00:36:46,352
But, now I must finish.
521
00:36:46,516 --> 00:36:48,956
The radio station is having
an open doors day.
522
00:36:48,957 --> 00:36:51,985
A media event that
I just can't miss."
523
00:36:57,169 --> 00:36:59,535
RADIO-STATION
TODAY: Open doors day
524
00:36:59,536 --> 00:37:00,799
INFO STAND
525
00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:02,560
Enjoy your meal!
526
00:37:10,318 --> 00:37:11,717
ON AIR
527
00:37:24,737 --> 00:37:26,097
Hello, hello!
528
00:37:26,330 --> 00:37:27,729
Hello, hello.
529
00:37:27,764 --> 00:37:29,889
Hello, hello, hello, hello!
530
00:37:31,342 --> 00:37:34,742
Listen now to a few
rather odd noises.
531
00:38:01,243 --> 00:38:03,423
And now, for the news.
532
00:38:03,424 --> 00:38:05,322
The entire area of the
Federal Republic of Germany:
533
00:38:05,323 --> 00:38:08,935
Please, pay attention to the fat white
particles afloat in the air.
534
00:38:08,936 --> 00:38:13,309
They have escaped a genetics lab
in Porto and are highly dangerous.
535
00:38:13,310 --> 00:38:17,174
On skin contact it gets women pregnant,
and turns men gay.
536
00:38:17,366 --> 00:38:23,176
Bonn: Housewives without an emplyoment
are to, with unemployed unshaven men
537
00:38:23,177 --> 00:38:26,536
with foul breaths, for the
fullfilment of bodily needs,
538
00:38:26,537 --> 00:38:28,993
offer theirselves for free of charge.
539
00:38:28,994 --> 00:38:34,306
The government is convinced that it'll
induce a natality and economical boom.
540
00:38:34,307 --> 00:38:39,843
Please stand in line out of the nearest
supermarket or leave your doors open.
541
00:38:43,057 --> 00:38:45,305
Important announcement
from the traffic service!
542
00:38:45,306 --> 00:38:50,164
Mister *** from *** on the way
in his WV Golf with license plates ***
543
00:38:50,165 --> 00:38:53,538
go home immediately!
Your house is on fire.
544
00:38:55,589 --> 00:38:59,124
And now for completely special
news for Inge Koschmidder!
545
00:38:59,165 --> 00:39:01,787
Yes, Inge, I mean you!
546
00:39:01,788 --> 00:39:05,563
You slut!
You fucked the mailman!
547
00:39:05,564 --> 00:39:11,064
Yes, let the whole world know!
Inge Koschmidder fucks mailmen!
548
00:39:11,065 --> 00:39:12,976
You skank!
549
00:39:14,929 --> 00:39:17,989
And I used to love you.
550
00:39:18,791 --> 00:39:20,818
There's the brat!
551
00:39:21,351 --> 00:39:24,595
I don't wanna see you
back here ever again!
552
00:39:26,120 --> 00:39:30,598
"Oh, well... I think this will be
a good lesson for Inge.
553
00:39:30,964 --> 00:39:33,684
Who plays with my heart,
also plays with fire.
554
00:39:33,855 --> 00:39:36,413
She must learn that
I too have feelings.
555
00:39:36,993 --> 00:39:40,308
Older people, sadly,
lean into a lack of sensibility.
556
00:39:42,275 --> 00:39:44,893
Chores, chores, chorse!
557
00:39:45,218 --> 00:39:47,700
Grandpa needs some time out again.
558
00:39:47,701 --> 00:39:50,349
Some oxygen, a few polite words...
559
00:39:50,350 --> 00:39:52,823
That'll keep him from dying.
560
00:39:55,818 --> 00:40:00,999
Actually old age has a vast number of
advantages... once you think about it.
561
00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:04,906
You don't say! And who's that?
- Well, now, erm...
562
00:40:04,907 --> 00:40:09,934
You can, for example, show around
your disabled card.
563
00:40:10,095 --> 00:40:13,692
Exactly! I can't swim anymore and
that's why I get pool time for free.
564
00:40:13,693 --> 00:40:16,588
I can't see or hear anymore,
so I get free theater tickets.
565
00:40:16,686 --> 00:40:18,448
The hell I can!
566
00:40:19,390 --> 00:40:23,159
What would you say a disabled card
should get you?
567
00:40:23,160 --> 00:40:26,189
It should get me free entry
into a bordel!
568
00:40:28,233 --> 00:40:31,336
Can you even talk about
anything else besides sex?
569
00:40:31,337 --> 00:40:33,637
How so?
Does something else exist?
570
00:40:33,638 --> 00:40:35,923
Oh well. I understand.
571
00:40:35,924 --> 00:40:39,691
Is there anything in your rich vault
of sexual experience,
572
00:40:39,692 --> 00:40:44,569
to share with a young man like me?
- Yeees!
573
00:40:44,770 --> 00:40:48,862
Never onanate more than
twelve times a day!
574
00:40:48,863 --> 00:40:52,114
At least not over a long
period of time.
575
00:40:52,115 --> 00:40:56,837
Why is that? - Well what do you think
got me into these wheelchair?!
576
00:40:56,838 --> 00:41:00,773
You're a dirty old man!
You know that? - I do!
577
00:41:00,774 --> 00:41:04,827
No matter how much I get washed,
I still feel dirty after it.
578
00:41:05,137 --> 00:41:08,044
I think it's unnatural.
- How so?
579
00:41:08,045 --> 00:41:13,008
If God wanted you to have a boner
at your age, he'd give it wings!
580
00:41:23,566 --> 00:41:27,578
You know... you're somehow alright.
581
00:41:28,312 --> 00:41:32,825
You remind me of what I was
back when I was your age.
582
00:41:32,826 --> 00:41:34,760
A short-sighted little boy?
583
00:41:34,761 --> 00:41:38,834
No. A short-sighted little asshole!
584
00:41:39,492 --> 00:41:43,098
Now what kind of urbanist
ugly frontage is this?
585
00:41:44,377 --> 00:41:48,685
It's the new hospital.
- It's very well made!
586
00:41:48,686 --> 00:41:51,940
I'm just having a... stroke!
587
00:42:01,904 --> 00:42:04,920
"Maybe now I'll get to have
grandpa's room soon.
588
00:42:04,921 --> 00:42:10,106
He survived the stroke, but doctors say
chances are high to have another one.
589
00:42:10,107 --> 00:42:14,432
In all that excitement,
I almost forgot about poor Inge.
590
00:42:14,433 --> 00:42:17,551
Love heals all wounds,
my dear diary.
591
00:42:17,647 --> 00:42:22,351
I'll send word that the path
to my heart is open once again."
592
00:42:39,193 --> 00:42:41,443
Halo?
593
00:42:45,634 --> 00:42:47,720
Halo?
594
00:42:52,128 --> 00:42:54,708
I am young, you are old,
595
00:42:54,709 --> 00:42:58,223
I'm still warm
you'll soon be cold.
596
00:43:02,364 --> 00:43:05,271
You feel faint,
and I feel strong,
597
00:43:05,272 --> 00:43:08,675
I'm the nail, and you're the tomb.
598
00:43:13,479 --> 00:43:19,000
While I firmly tread through life,
an urn awaits you now.
599
00:43:19,001 --> 00:43:24,492
As you fry on the other side,
I feel like given a new life.
600
00:43:26,514 --> 00:43:32,186
But, I do not care for that,
to me you're like a magic rat.
601
00:43:32,333 --> 00:43:35,247
You're so beautiful, so classy,
602
00:43:35,248 --> 00:43:38,781
like a closed down garage.
603
00:43:39,867 --> 00:43:42,877
I'm the crome and you're the rust,
604
00:43:42,878 --> 00:43:46,029
I'm the manure and you're compost.
605
00:44:01,589 --> 00:44:07,163
While I firmly tread through life,
an urn awaits you now.
606
00:44:07,164 --> 00:44:12,774
And just as we come together
you're getting buried for forever.
607
00:44:14,793 --> 00:44:20,389
But, I do not care for that,
to me you're like a magic rat.
608
00:44:20,390 --> 00:44:22,873
I take a piss on your cholesterol,
609
00:44:22,874 --> 00:44:27,566
I need you like... heroin.
610
00:44:28,313 --> 00:44:31,279
You lack the strength,
I have the balls,
611
00:44:31,280 --> 00:44:34,773
I am the wind,
you are dead fall.
612
00:44:38,754 --> 00:44:41,934
You are about to rot,
and I'm a gentle bud,
613
00:44:41,935 --> 00:44:45,490
I'll have your money,
much to my delight.
614
00:44:47,266 --> 00:44:53,194
Nothing will sway this love alliance
not the gout, or Alzeheimer's!
615
00:45:01,004 --> 00:45:03,584
Hello, hello? Inge?
616
00:45:06,852 --> 00:45:08,885
Women...
617
00:45:09,861 --> 00:45:14,582
And that's what I did.
Eyes blindfolded, on one foot,
618
00:45:14,583 --> 00:45:20,811
piggybacking a shark, laughing
straight into the face of danger!
619
00:45:23,515 --> 00:45:28,968
I've come for Peppi, miss Mövenpick!
620
00:45:29,210 --> 00:45:34,181
Peppi! I know you're there.
621
00:45:34,815 --> 00:45:39,188
Aaah... there's the little goof.
622
00:45:43,018 --> 00:45:46,367
Oh come now, Peppi.
Let the children in.
623
00:45:48,268 --> 00:45:50,228
Peppi...
624
00:45:52,988 --> 00:45:56,247
Peppi, you're slowly making me anry.
625
00:45:56,248 --> 00:46:00,059
My patience is nearing
it's limit, Peppito.
626
00:46:02,154 --> 00:46:05,030
But, Peppi...
627
00:46:08,511 --> 00:46:10,330
You missed!
628
00:46:11,483 --> 00:46:14,180
Now I'm really angry, Peppi.
629
00:46:14,399 --> 00:46:17,404
I'm afraid I have to punish you now.
630
00:46:17,725 --> 00:46:22,431
But, Peppi... You don't even
know how to handle that.
631
00:46:23,865 --> 00:46:26,213
Stop it! Peppi, stop it!
632
00:46:27,424 --> 00:46:31,584
There's a brand new anti-germ product
that I must try on you,
633
00:46:31,585 --> 00:46:34,013
my four-legged friend.
634
00:46:36,345 --> 00:46:39,240
But, Peppi, you're not
supposed to do that.
635
00:46:39,241 --> 00:46:41,820
Smoking is unhealthy.
636
00:46:42,819 --> 00:46:44,769
Peppi, Peppi, Peppi...
637
00:46:47,649 --> 00:46:51,961
Did you know that dogs are
a delicatesse in China Peppi?
638
00:46:52,179 --> 00:46:56,379
I already came up with a recipe:
"Peppi bolognese".
639
00:46:56,515 --> 00:47:01,177
You simply get a dog.
One such as yourself, Peppi.
640
00:47:01,513 --> 00:47:04,888
Add to it garlick,
tomatoes, fresh origano.
641
00:47:04,889 --> 00:47:08,481
First roast it well on strong flame,
642
00:47:08,482 --> 00:47:11,100
and add the red onions afterwards.
643
00:47:11,101 --> 00:47:14,846
Some reverse it, but I prefer
the onion glassy rather than crunchy.
644
00:47:14,847 --> 00:47:17,279
Then I add a little...
645
00:47:27,301 --> 00:47:29,031
Enjoy the meal, miss Mövenpick!
646
00:47:29,032 --> 00:47:31,079
I was just coming to see
how Peppi is doing.
647
00:47:31,080 --> 00:47:32,911
Would he mind a walk again?
648
00:47:32,912 --> 00:47:37,145
Oh, he wouldn't. I'm sure
he could use the fresh air.
649
00:47:38,009 --> 00:47:43,316
You know... I'm a bit concerned
for Peppi. - How so?
650
00:47:43,317 --> 00:47:48,813
Well... ever since you walked him
the other day, he became really weird.
651
00:47:49,511 --> 00:47:51,664
Speaking of, where is he?
652
00:47:52,412 --> 00:47:54,688
Ah! There he is.
653
00:47:57,019 --> 00:48:00,655
You know, Peppi...
I've been thinking about us.
654
00:48:01,157 --> 00:48:03,377
There's some uncalled for tension.
655
00:48:03,378 --> 00:48:05,857
So I brought you something
656
00:48:05,858 --> 00:48:10,126
Yum, yum, yum.
A tastey sausage.
657
00:48:10,645 --> 00:48:17,547
What you don't know, my dear Peppi, is
that it contains a heavy shot of LSD-25.
658
00:48:17,548 --> 00:48:20,907
A very potent hallucinogen.
659
00:48:20,977 --> 00:48:26,954
It allegedly helps seeing things clearer
and amplifies hearing fascinatingly.
660
00:48:26,955 --> 00:48:31,042
They say that body movement helps
it get through blood to the brain faster
661
00:48:31,043 --> 00:48:33,674
where it develops its full effect.
662
00:48:42,425 --> 00:48:47,478
This is just the right moment to test
your reflexes under extreme conditions.
663
00:48:50,488 --> 00:48:52,437
Remain completely relaxed, Peppi.
664
00:48:52,438 --> 00:48:54,584
Simply be what you are.
- Five...
665
00:48:54,585 --> 00:48:55,894
Four...
666
00:48:55,895 --> 00:48:57,118
Three...
667
00:48:57,119 --> 00:48:58,383
Two...
668
00:48:58,384 --> 00:48:59,703
One...
669
00:48:59,704 --> 00:49:01,205
Zero.
670
00:50:14,249 --> 00:50:16,112
Peppi...
671
00:50:16,604 --> 00:50:19,161
Peppi, did you come to?
672
00:50:39,992 --> 00:50:42,805
Peppi, Peppi, Peppi...
673
00:50:42,999 --> 00:50:44,828
Note:
674
00:50:44,829 --> 00:50:47,891
"No noteworthy breakthroughs
in the field of reflexes
675
00:50:47,892 --> 00:50:51,172
by digesting
lysergic acid diethylamide ."
676
00:50:51,173 --> 00:50:53,914
What is there to learn from this, Peppi?
677
00:50:54,288 --> 00:50:56,707
Keep your hands off the heavy stuff!
678
00:50:56,708 --> 00:50:59,150
No good can come of it.
679
00:51:04,425 --> 00:51:06,488
My god! Peppi!
680
00:51:06,489 --> 00:51:10,024
Reflexes, miss Mövenpick.
An old problem of his.
681
00:51:11,310 --> 00:51:14,860
And not only that, miss Mövenpick.
Not only that.
682
00:51:15,496 --> 00:51:21,322
I'm under a terrible doubt...
- Oh, good gracious! What is it?
683
00:51:21,323 --> 00:51:24,553
I'm afraid your dog's on drugs!
684
00:51:29,545 --> 00:51:31,473
"Dear diary,
685
00:51:31,474 --> 00:51:36,253
surely you wonder why I'm wearing
my father's blank underwar on my head.
686
00:51:36,397 --> 00:51:38,690
Why, I am grieving.
687
00:51:39,353 --> 00:51:44,639
Yes, grieving for Inge Koschmidder...
for she is no longer with us.
688
00:51:45,799 --> 00:51:50,490
When I returned from walking Peppi,
a coroner's car was parked in front.
689
00:51:55,511 --> 00:51:59,425
The fearsome Reaper took away our Inge.
690
00:51:59,603 --> 00:52:03,511
I was mad to give my heart away
to such an unreliable person!
691
00:52:03,512 --> 00:52:08,257
First the mailman, and now she
backs out in this cowardly fashion!
692
00:52:08,258 --> 00:52:11,590
I'm very disappointed with Inge.
693
00:52:12,149 --> 00:52:14,631
But life goes on. Doesn't it?
694
00:52:14,947 --> 00:52:18,313
Dogs bark, but the carousel moves on!
695
00:52:18,314 --> 00:52:20,942
I will work myself into forgetting."
696
00:52:32,517 --> 00:52:34,875
Boys, have some trust!
697
00:52:35,215 --> 00:52:38,534
Surely, the past is ridden with
tears and pain.
698
00:52:38,535 --> 00:52:42,028
But is that not the destiny of
all the unfaultering rock bands?
699
00:52:42,029 --> 00:52:45,104
Think of Jim Morrison!
Sid Vicious!
700
00:52:45,105 --> 00:52:48,564
Jim M-m-morrison is
dead, you a-a-asshole!
701
00:52:48,565 --> 00:52:50,154
And Sid Vicious too!
702
00:52:50,454 --> 00:52:52,918
Sid Vicious is dead?!
703
00:52:52,919 --> 00:52:55,850
But I bought his record the other day!
704
00:52:55,851 --> 00:53:00,618
This performace will be a blast. Our
triumphant crusade to a better world!
705
00:53:00,619 --> 00:53:05,123
A world full of sex, drugs
and willing groupies.
706
00:53:05,124 --> 00:53:06,798
I can feel it.
707
00:53:06,799 --> 00:53:10,189
What am I saying... I know it!
708
00:53:11,817 --> 00:53:15,028
Should I swear?
- Rather not! Don't!
709
00:53:34,930 --> 00:53:38,537
Mmm, tasty vegetable!
Thank you very much for that!
710
00:53:39,035 --> 00:53:42,943
Mmm, tasty vegetable!
Thank you very much for that!
711
00:53:43,256 --> 00:53:48,526
It's already a tick past eleven!
It's already a tick past eleven!
712
00:53:48,561 --> 00:53:52,808
Thank you very much for that!
Thank you very much for that!
713
00:53:53,203 --> 00:53:57,995
It's already a tick past eleven!
It's already a tick past eleven!
714
00:53:58,340 --> 00:54:04,475
Cheers! Cheers! Cheers
715
00:54:20,982 --> 00:54:22,910
And? How is it?
716
00:54:23,045 --> 00:54:27,717
Do you have something against
multicultural influences? Huh?
717
00:54:33,649 --> 00:54:39,163
"It's borderline miracle... that we
even got out of it alive, dear diary.
718
00:54:39,556 --> 00:54:41,364
I escaped through a hole in the stage,
719
00:54:41,365 --> 00:54:44,092
while the boys got
quite a roughing.
720
00:54:44,122 --> 00:54:47,556
Kalle Klammroth had it especially bad.
721
00:54:48,024 --> 00:54:50,659
But, we all have to
make sacrifices, no?
722
00:54:50,843 --> 00:54:52,830
And am I not affected the most?
723
00:54:52,831 --> 00:54:54,589
After all, I have to go to bed
without having dinner
724
00:54:54,639 --> 00:54:58,904
for using father's "Kenzo" pants
to make a protective phone mask...
725
00:54:59,243 --> 00:55:01,475
to surprise Inge with.
726
00:55:01,791 --> 00:55:07,778
I'm ending this night with the latest in
scientific experiments on my lower body.
727
00:55:25,358 --> 00:55:29,551
Dear diary! You wouldn't
believe what just happened!"
728
00:55:42,580 --> 00:55:45,793
What a day!
I'm totally excited.
729
00:55:45,794 --> 00:55:49,352
First the biology test,
then the school party tonight...
730
00:55:49,353 --> 00:55:51,382
Feeling nervous, my son?
731
00:55:51,383 --> 00:55:53,312
Don't worry, mother!
732
00:55:53,510 --> 00:55:56,409
I'm as calm as a buddhist bear
during hiberantion.
733
00:55:56,410 --> 00:55:58,210
I don't doubt that.
734
00:55:58,211 --> 00:56:02,351
I only fear that your biology paper
isn't very well made.
735
00:56:02,792 --> 00:56:07,599
You are unjust to me, father!
As you often are. But, I forgive you.
736
00:56:07,802 --> 00:56:11,756
What I'm holding in my hands
is not just some homework.
737
00:56:11,757 --> 00:56:16,357
After they publish this, biology
will need a complete redefining!
738
00:56:16,358 --> 00:56:20,499
This is likely the first biology paper
ever to win a Nobel prize.
739
00:56:21,460 --> 00:56:24,295
That's really reassuring.
740
00:56:27,446 --> 00:56:31,282
Can I start?
- Yeah, go ahead.
741
00:56:31,434 --> 00:56:33,647
Lights off, please!
742
00:56:35,056 --> 00:56:37,321
We'll start with the
reproductive organs.
743
00:56:37,975 --> 00:56:43,266
The human fascination with genitals
is continuous and inexplicable.
744
00:56:43,424 --> 00:56:48,216
No other body part gets
nearly as much attention.
745
00:56:48,217 --> 00:56:51,556
An elbow, for example,
can be perfectly beautiful,
746
00:56:51,557 --> 00:56:57,067
but it will never create an 'O-ho!'
that a penis or a vagina can.
747
00:56:57,238 --> 00:57:02,494
Although they, objectively, look like
radioactive veggies from outer space.
748
00:57:02,495 --> 00:57:05,564
Obviously the secret of their looks
will remain for eternity:
749
00:57:05,565 --> 00:57:10,983
how come genitals aren't shaped like
something that is appealing to the eye,
750
00:57:10,984 --> 00:57:15,626
for example, the shape of cyclamen
or a mouth-blown resin vase.
751
00:57:17,047 --> 00:57:20,858
The male organ is like a
Mercedes among the genitals.
752
00:57:21,145 --> 00:57:24,439
In the state of excitement,
a fully evolved male organ
753
00:57:24,440 --> 00:57:28,986
reaches the length of sixty centimeters
and weights around three kilos.
754
00:57:29,831 --> 00:57:35,631
It can ejaculate exactly 950 times.
Matching about half of this bucket.
755
00:57:35,664 --> 00:57:38,015
The male semen consists
of brain cells,
756
00:57:38,016 --> 00:57:42,333
which travel to the crotch via the
hippotalamus and the spinal cord.
757
00:57:42,334 --> 00:57:47,415
With each ejaculation the man loses
around five billion brain cells,
758
00:57:47,416 --> 00:57:49,763
double the amount of full narcosis.
759
00:57:49,764 --> 00:57:53,912
Very important for the production
of semen is potency.
760
00:57:53,913 --> 00:57:58,930
As a rule: a man can squirt as many
times per day as he is old.
761
00:57:58,931 --> 00:58:01,625
If your values are below that treshold,
you should be worried.
762
00:58:01,626 --> 00:58:03,903
You probably have ball cancer.
763
00:58:04,075 --> 00:58:07,623
The female organ,
called clitoris or the lovebud,
764
00:58:07,624 --> 00:58:11,055
is barely worth mentioning
compared to the male organ.
765
00:58:11,056 --> 00:58:13,808
It's tiny and backwards by nature,
766
00:58:13,809 --> 00:58:17,543
loves to hide under the two skin pieces
the labia,
767
00:58:17,544 --> 00:58:20,962
which often come surrounded
by a magnificent beard.
768
00:58:21,293 --> 00:58:24,678
Men prefer mighty, large labia.
769
00:58:24,679 --> 00:58:29,495
Also, most of women's labia can be
determined without seeing them naked.
770
00:58:29,648 --> 00:58:33,283
Simply multiply the length of her
ear lobe with the width of her upper lip
771
00:58:33,284 --> 00:58:36,763
and you'll get the labia's surface
in square centimeters.
772
00:58:39,359 --> 00:58:42,575
"My effort of bringing some humour
into the dry school texts
773
00:58:42,576 --> 00:58:46,260
was sadly not rewared with
high marks, dear diary.
774
00:58:46,261 --> 00:58:49,908
But, I share this destiny
with other great historical figures:
775
00:58:49,909 --> 00:58:53,307
Giordan Bruno, Galileo Galilei,
776
00:58:53,308 --> 00:58:56,298
Erich Honecker...
my spiritual brethren.
777
00:58:56,299 --> 00:58:58,609
Time will set us right.
778
00:58:58,859 --> 00:59:01,756
Grandpa is still i hospital.
779
00:59:01,757 --> 00:59:05,191
I'l pay him a visit and give him
comfort and trust.
780
00:59:05,354 --> 00:59:08,159
I'll also use the chance to see Kalle.
781
00:59:08,160 --> 00:59:11,014
He's not doing as bad as we thought.
782
00:59:11,015 --> 00:59:16,026
Doctors say that he'll be able to pee
without a catheter in mere months."
783
00:59:31,824 --> 00:59:33,994
Enjoy the meal!
784
00:59:40,107 --> 00:59:41,996
Shit.
785
00:59:42,659 --> 00:59:44,731
You have nice flower paintings in here.
786
00:59:44,732 --> 00:59:46,747
Were they made with mouth?
787
00:59:47,848 --> 00:59:49,670
Uh-huh.
788
00:59:50,161 --> 00:59:51,489
Hello!
789
00:59:52,409 --> 00:59:54,270
Hey, Kalle!
790
00:59:54,271 --> 00:59:58,461
So... So how's it going...
my old pal?
791
00:59:59,409 --> 01:00:02,180
Ah, yes.
Very interesting.
792
01:00:02,181 --> 01:00:04,281
Bloody nazis!
793
01:00:07,603 --> 01:00:11,069
You two seem to be having fun.
794
01:00:11,070 --> 01:00:13,882
I won't bother you any longer.
795
01:00:14,698 --> 01:00:16,743
And don't babble that much.
796
01:01:20,360 --> 01:01:22,482
Next, please!
797
01:01:25,479 --> 01:01:27,579
Come in!
798
01:01:29,164 --> 01:01:32,085
Are you a doctor?
- Why wouldn't I be?
799
01:01:32,086 --> 01:01:35,257
Weeell... you're so small and...
800
01:01:35,258 --> 01:01:37,620
Of course. I'm the smallest
doctor in all of Europe.
801
01:01:37,621 --> 01:01:40,793
Do you mind?
- No, no. I really don't.
802
01:01:41,339 --> 01:01:43,236
How come you're nude?
803
01:01:43,237 --> 01:01:45,666
How come you're not?
804
01:01:45,667 --> 01:01:47,685
Now off with the clothes, quickly!
805
01:01:53,533 --> 01:01:57,025
So, let's give your X-rays a look.
806
01:01:57,934 --> 01:02:00,880
Oh, shit!
- What? What?
807
01:02:00,881 --> 01:02:03,134
A tumor. Right here.
808
01:02:03,135 --> 01:02:06,602
What? Where? Where?
- Well, here. Here!
809
01:02:06,603 --> 01:02:09,100
Oh, God.
That's a tumor?
810
01:02:10,209 --> 01:02:13,599
No. No, no. No.
That's a greasy stain.
811
01:02:13,761 --> 01:02:16,458
Error of judgement. My bad.
I apologise.
812
01:02:16,459 --> 01:02:22,253
Oh, I apologise. Sorry!
Sorry! I'm sorry. Really. I'm sorry.
813
01:02:23,803 --> 01:02:26,792
Makes you feel instantly reborn, yes?
That'll be a hundred bucks.
814
01:02:26,793 --> 01:02:29,662
Why? What for?
There's nothing wrong with me!
815
01:02:29,663 --> 01:02:31,241
Would you rather have cancer?
816
01:02:31,242 --> 01:02:35,246
Let's see what can be done.
- Right, right. Here.
817
01:02:36,002 --> 01:02:39,585
So long.
Keep an eye on your well being.
818
01:02:39,981 --> 01:02:44,136
The records just showed me that
all of your cases are hopeless!
819
01:02:44,137 --> 01:02:46,778
You are all gonna croak miserably!
820
01:02:46,779 --> 01:02:49,223
So this office is closed!
821
01:03:01,355 --> 01:03:04,521
All those old farts should be given
the lethal injection! Shit!
822
01:03:04,522 --> 01:03:06,901
Mister Brenner refuses
to eat his greasy soup.
823
01:03:06,902 --> 01:03:09,692
Black man, it surprises you or what?
824
01:03:09,874 --> 01:03:12,937
They're starving back at your home
and they can't swallow anything here,
825
01:03:12,938 --> 01:03:15,386
because eating too much got them sick.
826
01:03:15,387 --> 01:03:18,947
Solution: let the old ones croak,
make delicious soup out of them
827
01:03:18,948 --> 01:03:22,177
and ship it to Africa!
You're into such things.
828
01:03:22,178 --> 01:03:26,167
Crunchy colonialist butt
dipped in cocoa milk...
829
01:03:26,702 --> 01:03:31,549
Oh, man, and I thought black people
have a sense for black comedy.
830
01:03:42,661 --> 01:03:46,218
Well, well! The entire family?
Are we celebrating something?
831
01:03:46,219 --> 01:03:48,392
Grandpa is dying.
832
01:03:48,393 --> 01:03:51,040
Really? Can I have his room?
833
01:03:52,484 --> 01:03:57,497
Before I go, I've a confession to make.
834
01:03:57,498 --> 01:04:02,017
Each time I trimmed my toes
835
01:04:02,718 --> 01:04:06,282
I mixed them with your cereals.
836
01:04:12,624 --> 01:04:14,399
is he dead now?
837
01:04:14,727 --> 01:04:18,639
I think so... yes.
- Boo!
838
01:04:19,673 --> 01:04:24,522
Grandpa! You're not dead?!
- Noo.
839
01:04:25,114 --> 01:04:28,697
I have changed my mind.
I don't want to die.
840
01:04:28,698 --> 01:04:31,690
Juuust greaat. Really.
841
01:04:33,552 --> 01:04:35,122
"Dear diary.
842
01:04:35,287 --> 01:04:39,257
It's time to summarize
this eventufl day.
843
01:04:39,458 --> 01:04:45,079
The school party's over and I fear that
my artistic actions had little effect.
844
01:04:45,580 --> 01:04:49,333
It was one of those nights
when everything can happen.
845
01:04:49,454 --> 01:04:53,685
The air was hot and moist
like a beautiful young woman...
846
01:04:54,157 --> 01:05:01,152
The sky filled with stars. The moon
shone like a beacon to a better future.
847
01:05:01,278 --> 01:05:04,588
The Aula was sold out to the last seat.
848
01:05:04,589 --> 01:05:07,445
Tension cut the air.
849
01:05:07,446 --> 01:05:09,507
It was ready to begin.
850
01:05:09,508 --> 01:05:11,076
Enjoy the meal!
851
01:05:11,077 --> 01:05:13,226
That's our boy.
852
01:05:13,227 --> 01:05:16,306
Psst. They don't need
to know right away.
853
01:05:16,459 --> 01:05:18,656
Good evening,
my ladies and gentlemen!
854
01:05:18,822 --> 01:05:23,559
I welcome you to this year's
party of the "Adolf Hitler" high school.
855
01:05:23,696 --> 01:05:28,157
Err... sorry.
The "Albert Schweitzer" high school.
856
01:05:28,348 --> 01:05:30,659
Sadly the musical contribution
857
01:05:30,660 --> 01:05:35,732
that was me and my band's performance,
is cancelled due to health issues.
858
01:05:36,822 --> 01:05:40,526
Therefore I am mostly improvising
the rest of the program.
859
01:05:40,705 --> 01:05:43,891
But, before we begin,
I would like to give thanks.
860
01:05:44,247 --> 01:05:47,869
First to my mother, without whom
I wouldn't be here today,
861
01:05:47,870 --> 01:05:52,542
without whom I'd be nothing more than
one among millions of spermatosoids
862
01:05:52,543 --> 01:05:54,374
in my father's balls.
863
01:05:54,541 --> 01:05:57,371
Thank you... mother.
864
01:05:57,613 --> 01:06:00,084
Further, I thank this insitution's
board of teachers,
865
01:06:00,085 --> 01:06:06,934
for the flare of wisdom they passed
down to me, and their patience. Thanks!
866
01:06:08,831 --> 01:06:13,126
That's our boy.
- Yes. That's our son!
867
01:06:13,842 --> 01:06:16,240
"Ha-ha! These fools!
868
01:06:16,369 --> 01:06:19,960
The well-fed educated middle class
was shaken into a feeling of security
869
01:06:19,961 --> 01:06:24,131
and lazily awaited the next
harmless party funs to come.
870
01:06:24,132 --> 01:06:26,498
Now was the time to press down on them.
871
01:06:26,499 --> 01:06:28,764
I changed my costume behind the curtains
872
01:06:28,765 --> 01:06:32,518
and then stepped out into the bright
spotlight and said:
873
01:06:32,519 --> 01:06:37,387
You.. have all... fucked.
874
01:06:38,539 --> 01:06:43,329
"I calmly allowed this precise
provocation to shake the entire hall."
875
01:06:43,401 --> 01:06:46,812
That's your son?
- "They didn't count on it.
876
01:06:47,427 --> 01:06:51,619
My moose costume successfully
annoyed the audience even more."
877
01:06:53,457 --> 01:06:55,993
There are his parents!
878
01:06:58,187 --> 01:07:02,167
"Then the drugs slowly
started kicking in.
879
01:07:02,757 --> 01:07:09,488
The joy-addicted adults have enjoyed
free drinks the entire evening,
880
01:07:09,656 --> 01:07:15,176
unaware of the interesting chemicals
that were added to it.
881
01:07:28,269 --> 01:07:32,198
I knew that that night would
be something really special,
882
01:07:32,199 --> 01:07:34,843
when our cathecist, miss Blachi,
883
01:07:34,844 --> 01:07:40,137
solicited the entire male part of the
board of teachers into a cock parade.
884
01:08:12,229 --> 01:08:16,042
The crowning jewel for presenting
the innovative sexual technique...
885
01:08:16,043 --> 01:08:22,025
Get over here, you butthead!
- undoubtedly went to my grandfather."
886
01:08:22,805 --> 01:08:24,503
Yees!
887
01:08:24,726 --> 01:08:27,072
You fucking butthead!
888
01:08:29,701 --> 01:08:31,484
There. I came.
889
01:08:31,485 --> 01:08:34,001
"He could even temporarily walk again.
890
01:08:34,012 --> 01:08:36,534
That was the moment I was waiting for.
891
01:08:36,712 --> 01:08:39,974
Bare, just as God made me,
I stepped towards the microphone...
892
01:08:40,504 --> 01:08:43,314
and proclaimed a new statement:"
893
01:08:44,768 --> 01:08:47,778
Peace to the huts!
894
01:08:47,779 --> 01:08:50,656
War to the palaces!
895
01:08:50,818 --> 01:08:58,817
Peace to the huts! War to the palaces!
Peace to the huts! War to the palaces!
896
01:09:49,198 --> 01:09:52,377
"In the end we took
the cathedral in the main square.
897
01:09:52,378 --> 01:09:55,711
Seeing how it's the tallest building
in town, it felt most fitting
898
01:09:55,712 --> 01:09:59,813
to hang on its roof
our political agenda banner.
899
01:09:59,814 --> 01:10:01,335
FUCKING!
900
01:10:01,908 --> 01:10:05,013
But then, sadly, the law
officers showed up.
901
01:10:42,540 --> 01:10:45,789
Gramps was the only one
resisting until the bitter end.
902
01:10:45,790 --> 01:10:47,230
While the drugs worked,
903
01:10:47,231 --> 01:10:51,009
parents and teachers kept singing
the songs of freedom.
904
01:10:51,010 --> 01:10:54,957
That liberal attitude will however
change dramatically by tomorrow.
905
01:10:54,958 --> 01:10:59,137
All of a sudden, my parents had very
little tolerance for my radical views.
906
01:10:59,138 --> 01:11:04,392
When taken to the felony judge,
they showed their true bourgeois face."
907
01:11:04,393 --> 01:11:06,428
Is that your son?
908
01:11:06,429 --> 01:11:09,137
Not since today he isn't!
909
01:11:09,528 --> 01:11:13,204
"And so it ends here,
another eventful day
910
01:11:13,205 --> 01:11:15,288
of my rebelous existence.
911
01:11:16,263 --> 01:11:18,439
I learned some things...
912
01:11:18,748 --> 01:11:21,614
but a lot remains undone.
913
01:11:22,337 --> 01:11:27,134
But... isn't life like a mosaic?
914
01:11:28,438 --> 01:11:30,999
Only with the final piece...
915
01:11:31,000 --> 01:11:34,886
does the whole... become complete."