1 00:00:11,840 --> 00:00:14,173 1st month 2 00:00:16,839 --> 00:00:19,239 3rd month 3 00:00:21,805 --> 00:00:24,205 5th month 4 00:00:26,838 --> 00:00:29,238 7th month 5 00:00:31,803 --> 00:00:33,404 9th month 6 00:00:34,070 --> 00:00:35,737 'Sup. 7 00:00:41,236 --> 00:00:42,569 Now press! 8 00:00:43,802 --> 00:00:44,669 Press! 9 00:00:48,236 --> 00:00:49,002 Good! 10 00:00:50,968 --> 00:00:51,968 Yes! 11 00:00:52,768 --> 00:00:54,868 Just keep pressing. 12 00:00:54,935 --> 00:00:56,268 We've got this. 13 00:01:10,566 --> 00:01:11,733 There we go. 14 00:01:12,233 --> 00:01:13,166 Gratulations. 15 00:01:14,198 --> 00:01:16,665 What is it, doctor? What is it? 16 00:01:21,065 --> 00:01:22,231 It's an asshole... 17 00:01:22,264 --> 00:01:24,798 ... barely twelve years later... 18 00:01:45,362 --> 00:01:48,595 I am the Satan, baby 19 00:01:48,994 --> 00:01:52,761 I wanna fry you, baby 20 00:01:52,761 --> 00:01:55,561 It's a hundred degrees in here, baby 21 00:01:55,561 --> 00:01:59,027 So don't dress too warm, baby 22 00:01:59,260 --> 00:02:02,394 The best thing for you right now would be a little sin 23 00:02:02,927 --> 00:02:04,094 SIN! 24 00:02:04,359 --> 00:02:05,626 We want to sin! 25 00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,459 To quit heaven! 26 00:02:07,826 --> 00:02:09,959 And keep on sinning! 27 00:02:10,059 --> 00:02:13,225 And for our deeds, eternally.. 28 00:02:14,958 --> 00:02:17,058 we fry! 29 00:02:32,956 --> 00:02:33,890 Sin! 30 00:02:34,489 --> 00:02:35,989 We want to sin! 31 00:02:36,089 --> 00:02:37,556 Quit heaven! 32 00:02:37,856 --> 00:02:39,889 And keep on sinning! 33 00:02:40,322 --> 00:02:43,389 I'm a little asshole, baby 34 00:02:43,889 --> 00:02:47,054 A little devil's child, baby 35 00:02:47,521 --> 00:02:50,754 You're my new broiled chicken, baby 36 00:02:50,954 --> 00:02:53,987 So don't dress too warm, baby 37 00:02:54,087 --> 00:02:57,920 The best thing for you right now would be a little sin 38 00:02:57,953 --> 00:02:58,953 Sin! 39 00:02:58,953 --> 00:02:59,953 We want to sin! 40 00:03:01,086 --> 00:03:02,420 Quit heaven! 41 00:03:02,553 --> 00:03:04,819 And keep on sinning! 42 00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:06,319 Sin! 43 00:03:06,319 --> 00:03:07,619 We want to sin! 44 00:03:08,152 --> 00:03:09,485 Quit heaven! 45 00:03:09,485 --> 00:03:11,851 And keep on sinning! 46 00:03:19,185 --> 00:03:20,185 Sin! 47 00:03:20,483 --> 00:03:21,817 We want to sin! 48 00:03:22,284 --> 00:03:23,650 Quit heaven! 49 00:03:24,050 --> 00:03:25,384 And keep on sinning! 50 00:03:35,082 --> 00:03:35,883 Well? 51 00:03:35,883 --> 00:03:36,982 What's wrong? 52 00:03:37,481 --> 00:03:38,715 No sparklers? 53 00:03:47,214 --> 00:03:50,381 Are you f-f-f-fucking ins-s-s-sane? 54 00:03:50,714 --> 00:03:57,113 T-t-t-to have us p-p-perform a modernized version of F-f-faust at the world-ch-ch-ch-church-day! 55 00:03:57,346 --> 00:04:01,446 You told us that was a meeting of dead-serious satanists! 56 00:04:01,780 --> 00:04:05,845 Pfff.. christians. Satanists. It's very easy to confuse. 57 00:04:05,879 --> 00:04:06,879 Confusing, my ass. 58 00:04:07,045 --> 00:04:09,478 Oh, is there a difference? 59 00:04:09,645 --> 00:04:14,378 You l-l-l-et us run into a kn-kn-knife with op-p-p-en eyes! 60 00:04:14,678 --> 00:04:15,977 Admittedly, men. 61 00:04:16,411 --> 00:04:18,311 I took that risk. 62 00:04:18,311 --> 00:04:20,210 I wanted to shatter boundaries. 63 00:04:20,343 --> 00:04:22,977 To call forth sympathy for atheism. 64 00:04:23,210 --> 00:04:25,610 To unite. To reconcile. 65 00:04:25,610 --> 00:04:28,009 As Thanks, we were mistreated. 66 00:04:28,209 --> 00:04:30,442 But I am used to being kicked around. 67 00:04:30,509 --> 00:04:32,342 We too! / We too! / We too! 68 00:04:36,741 --> 00:04:38,574 Dear diary, 69 00:04:38,641 --> 00:04:44,041 My band's performance at the world-church-day was not quite as succesful as i had hoped. 70 00:04:44,041 --> 00:04:46,207 These are dark days. 71 00:04:46,207 --> 00:04:49,007 In many countries of earth, squalor and destitution reign. 72 00:04:49,007 --> 00:04:50,674 Wars are fought. 73 00:04:50,674 --> 00:04:52,907 Plagues threaten humankind. 74 00:04:52,940 --> 00:04:58,272 And when i fail my presentation the day after tomorrow, i'll get an F and will be held back a year. 75 00:04:58,306 --> 00:05:00,473 But i am not giving up. 76 00:05:00,473 --> 00:05:07,472 I shall continue to fight for a better world until the whole of mankind is singing and embracing each other. 77 00:05:07,538 --> 00:05:10,137 But hark, what is going on? 78 00:05:10,137 --> 00:05:15,004 It appears i have to make an inspection round, dear diary. 79 00:05:23,069 --> 00:05:26,703 Yes! Yes! Oh yes! 80 00:05:26,803 --> 00:05:27,802 'sup? 81 00:05:28,635 --> 00:05:29,635 No. 82 00:05:29,635 --> 00:05:31,435 What the fuck? 83 00:05:31,435 --> 00:05:33,568 What are you doing here? 84 00:05:33,568 --> 00:05:35,901 I was worried, mother. 85 00:05:36,034 --> 00:05:38,134 I heard strange noises. 86 00:05:38,234 --> 00:05:40,634 Like sickly, vomiting animals. 87 00:05:41,001 --> 00:05:42,401 There aren't any animals! 88 00:05:42,601 --> 00:05:46,533 Dad and i wanted to change the sheets and .. um.. 89 00:05:46,700 --> 00:05:51,233 Ha Ha, but mother, i know what is happening. 90 00:05:51,433 --> 00:05:55,032 Don't be ashamed, for i was made this way. 91 00:05:55,032 --> 00:05:59,332 I am the fruit of your womb. 92 00:05:59,899 --> 00:06:05,465 Yes, yes, father used his penis to penetrate your Vulva, or lust grotto. 93 00:06:05,898 --> 00:06:09,864 This also works from behind or a tergo, as you two have just demonstrated very impressively. 94 00:06:10,230 --> 00:06:13,464 Although the catholic church isn't really in favor of it. 95 00:06:13,664 --> 00:06:14,464 Oh boy.. 96 00:06:14,497 --> 00:06:17,796 At the heights of his sexual endeavours, his seed, 97 00:06:17,829 --> 00:06:25,663 a slimy liquid with purulent consistency and the taste of diet salad dressing, got released into it. 98 00:06:27,862 --> 00:06:36,027 His sperm, nimble little fellows, then swam forth to the uterus, where one of them, with the greatest dedication 99 00:06:36,027 --> 00:06:39,161 combined itself with the female egg cell. 100 00:06:40,394 --> 00:06:43,626 There, swimming in amniotic fluid and nourished by placenta, 101 00:06:43,660 --> 00:06:52,025 the embryo grows, at first miniscule and mishapen, but soon inexorably gaining size and form and scarcely nine months 102 00:06:52,025 --> 00:06:58,325 after this, perhaps thoughtless act of desire, a new human is born. 103 00:06:58,558 --> 00:07:01,491 This is how i was formed; your son. 104 00:07:01,524 --> 00:07:04,424 The wonder of life. 105 00:07:04,858 --> 00:07:06,591 But don't let yourself be disturbed any further. 106 00:07:06,691 --> 00:07:11,623 At this time of day, the female slime flora is said to be at its most fertile. 107 00:07:12,056 --> 00:07:13,157 Huh? / What? 108 00:07:14,890 --> 00:07:16,722 Err.. should we continue..? 109 00:07:16,789 --> 00:07:19,055 I dunno.. 110 00:07:19,356 --> 00:07:22,822 Say, are you taking the pill at the moment? 111 00:07:22,989 --> 00:07:23,989 Nope. 112 00:07:24,289 --> 00:07:28,388 Ah, better not then. 113 00:07:31,455 --> 00:07:32,955 Where the devil is my red...? 114 00:07:32,955 --> 00:07:33,954 'sup! 115 00:07:34,487 --> 00:07:37,154 You pig, can't you knock? 116 00:07:37,354 --> 00:07:39,487 Why are you hiding your bareness? 117 00:07:39,587 --> 00:07:42,219 You are my sister, i do not desire you. 118 00:07:42,953 --> 00:07:44,819 That's the last i'd need right now! 119 00:07:44,953 --> 00:07:46,419 What do you even want? 120 00:07:47,119 --> 00:07:49,086 I'm bringing you your share. Here. 121 00:07:49,786 --> 00:07:52,152 Share? What kind of share? 122 00:07:52,152 --> 00:07:55,985 Five "Tex, the brave bordertrooper" comics. Good condition. 123 00:07:56,251 --> 00:07:58,152 Tex, the brave bordertrooper? 124 00:07:58,251 --> 00:07:59,217 Why, yes! 125 00:07:59,217 --> 00:08:01,784 The guarantor of justice in a lawless time. 126 00:08:01,851 --> 00:08:07,017 The man with the big hat .. err.. the man with the small hat and the big heart. Landscape format. 127 00:08:07,184 --> 00:08:08,683 What am i going to do with this shit? 128 00:08:08,749 --> 00:08:09,650 Don't fret. 129 00:08:09,650 --> 00:08:11,216 I don't need your thanks. 130 00:08:11,283 --> 00:08:13,516 I traded them for your red slip. 131 00:08:13,516 --> 00:08:15,049 With my friend, Kalle Klammo. 132 00:08:15,150 --> 00:08:16,349 You did what?! 133 00:08:16,349 --> 00:08:18,149 You traded in my slip? 134 00:08:18,149 --> 00:08:21,748 For five "Tex, the brave bordertrooper" comics? 135 00:08:21,748 --> 00:08:23,015 Ten, all in all! 136 00:08:23,048 --> 00:08:24,914 Five for you, five for me. 137 00:08:24,948 --> 00:08:25,948 Are you stupid? 138 00:08:25,948 --> 00:08:29,448 The slip was by Malizia, it cost 40 Mark! 139 00:08:29,448 --> 00:08:32,047 Don't worry about the trade-in value. 140 00:08:32,047 --> 00:08:34,380 In 20, 30 years, these will be worth a fortune. 141 00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:35,480 Oh yeah? 142 00:08:35,513 --> 00:08:37,480 And what does this little stinker want with my slip, anyway? 143 00:08:37,513 --> 00:08:38,746 Well, jack off in it. 144 00:08:38,746 --> 00:08:40,246 He loves you. 145 00:08:40,246 --> 00:08:41,245 What 146 00:08:41,312 --> 00:08:46,812 So this pimply idiot now sits in his room and is masturbating into my best slip? 147 00:08:46,846 --> 00:08:50,144 In the bathroom. Kalle always masturbates in the bathroom. 148 00:08:50,178 --> 00:08:53,845 I can't even. I just can't. 149 00:08:53,878 --> 00:08:55,611 I know. 150 00:08:55,878 --> 00:08:57,345 I know what you are feeling right now. 151 00:08:57,478 --> 00:09:01,810 You feel humiliated, hurt in your dignity as a woman, is that not so? 152 00:09:01,977 --> 00:09:04,810 I understand your pain, but i have avenged you. 153 00:09:04,977 --> 00:09:06,376 Oh, now that calms me down.. 154 00:09:06,476 --> 00:09:07,476 How then? 155 00:09:07,543 --> 00:09:10,276 I pissed in the slip earlier. 156 00:09:10,409 --> 00:09:13,742 And Kalle thinks it's from you and gave me 2 comics extra. 157 00:09:16,542 --> 00:09:20,608 The intellectual level of my family compares to mine as to 158 00:09:20,641 --> 00:09:24,907 a deep sea sponge does to Albert Einstein, dear diary. 159 00:09:24,941 --> 00:09:28,640 They are as animals, shameless and libidinous . 160 00:09:28,674 --> 00:09:32,139 You won't believe what i caught my parents doing just now. 161 00:09:33,273 --> 00:09:35,773 My sister is no better. 162 00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:40,505 Shameless, she lounged in front of me in her immaculate nudeness 163 00:09:40,505 --> 00:09:45,805 The light gently touching her stiff nipples, 164 00:09:45,805 --> 00:09:51,471 while her venus fuzz shimmered on her strong thighs like a stream of liquid silk. 165 00:09:55,704 --> 00:10:00,236 Sometimes i feel akin to a modern Robinson Crusoe on an island filled with naked primitives. 166 00:10:00,270 --> 00:10:04,103 a space traveler stranded on the planet of the apes. 167 00:10:05,402 --> 00:10:08,936 There are three things that give me the strength to persevere. 168 00:10:09,702 --> 00:10:13,169 The love of music, an engagement for a better world. 169 00:10:14,401 --> 00:10:15,701 And Inge Koschmidder. 170 00:10:17,768 --> 00:10:19,968 Yes, dear diary, i am in love. 171 00:10:21,268 --> 00:10:25,534 In love with an older woman. This may sound shocking, but.. 172 00:10:28,534 --> 00:10:30,100 I have to go, dear diary. 173 00:10:31,266 --> 00:10:32,632 Grandpa must be moved about. 174 00:10:33,766 --> 00:10:35,866 Except for me, nobody takes care of the old bag. 175 00:10:39,965 --> 00:10:42,332 I don't wanna get pushed for a stroll. 176 00:10:42,332 --> 00:10:43,898 Did you listen to the news today? 177 00:10:43,998 --> 00:10:46,465 They found a cure for your type of cancer. 178 00:10:46,631 --> 00:10:48,297 What, what? 179 00:10:48,597 --> 00:10:54,064 Yeah, it heals in seconds, tastes like a oral sex, acts like cocaine and costs 1 Mark. 180 00:10:54,197 --> 00:10:55,564 And the side-effects? 181 00:10:55,564 --> 00:10:56,696 It makes you rich and famous. 182 00:10:56,729 --> 00:10:58,129 Oh, you're a jokester, aren't you? 183 00:10:58,163 --> 00:10:59,163 Just trying to be nice. 184 00:10:59,663 --> 00:11:01,596 Y'know, since you don't really have that much longer. 185 00:11:02,830 --> 00:11:05,062 I'm not quite at the graveyard yet. 186 00:11:05,628 --> 00:11:07,095 THAT we can change. 187 00:11:07,162 --> 00:11:10,262 What's happening? Where are you taking me? 188 00:11:11,395 --> 00:11:12,595 A shortcut. 189 00:11:13,361 --> 00:11:15,294 I don't wanna go to the graveyard! 190 00:11:18,361 --> 00:11:22,527 Sooner or later, we all end up here. You sooner, me later. 191 00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:34,426 Graveyards make me nervous. 192 00:11:34,625 --> 00:11:36,826 It's all about becoming and passing. 193 00:11:37,225 --> 00:11:40,391 Oh yeah? Guess i'm not passing quickly enough for you. 194 00:11:40,425 --> 00:11:42,691 Should i do a test drive or what? 195 00:11:45,025 --> 00:11:46,924 Halt! Stop! 196 00:11:48,857 --> 00:11:50,390 Oh man, look at this. 197 00:11:50,757 --> 00:11:55,423 All the worms and maggots. The vultures of the underground. 198 00:11:55,689 --> 00:12:00,056 What would happen if i drop this apple down there? 199 00:12:08,621 --> 00:12:10,221 Hey, what's going on over there? 200 00:12:11,621 --> 00:12:12,787 A funeral. 201 00:12:12,821 --> 00:12:14,687 Let us clear out of here. 202 00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:18,187 Wait, aren't those the Möllendonks from next door? 203 00:12:18,287 --> 00:12:21,719 Absolutely. Hubert is being buried today, the old dirtbag. 204 00:12:21,986 --> 00:12:25,486 Grandpa, Hubert was your best friend once. 205 00:12:26,820 --> 00:12:28,952 Speak only good of the dead. 206 00:12:29,319 --> 00:12:32,585 Why? Is snuffing it a merit now? 207 00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:34,218 Everyone can do that, even Hubert. 208 00:12:34,519 --> 00:12:36,218 The whole family Möllendonk is here. 209 00:12:36,218 --> 00:12:39,518 Small wonder. There's something to inherit, after all. 210 00:12:40,784 --> 00:12:45,351 Dear mourners. We are gathered here today.. 211 00:12:45,351 --> 00:12:48,450 TO MAKE SURE THAT HE'S REALLY GOING UNDER! 212 00:12:50,283 --> 00:12:58,982 To give one escort, who not only knew christian charity, but also practiced it himself. 213 00:12:59,449 --> 00:13:00,149 And how! 214 00:13:00,949 --> 00:13:02,382 He fucked my wife! 215 00:13:02,416 --> 00:13:05,281 My best friend! 216 00:13:05,681 --> 00:13:06,681 Grandpa.. 217 00:13:06,748 --> 00:13:07,748 It's true! 218 00:13:08,348 --> 00:13:09,581 While i was on nightshift! 219 00:13:09,648 --> 00:13:11,347 That motherfucker! 220 00:13:13,414 --> 00:13:17,347 Perhaps the deceased was not without fault. 221 00:13:17,447 --> 00:13:22,112 But who, in the face of death, throws the first stone? 222 00:13:22,446 --> 00:13:26,712 Me! ME! Give me a rock! I'll do it! 223 00:13:26,946 --> 00:13:29,745 Please, we are all christians! 224 00:13:29,812 --> 00:13:33,445 Not me! I left the church! 225 00:13:33,478 --> 00:13:34,678 Since forever! 226 00:13:34,812 --> 00:13:36,777 Come.. let us go. 227 00:13:36,911 --> 00:13:42,077 I'm not paying money just so i have to spend eternity with people like you! 228 00:13:42,077 --> 00:13:44,177 I wanna go to hell! 229 00:13:44,177 --> 00:13:48,376 HAIL SATANAS! ABRAXAS! 230 00:13:49,143 --> 00:13:52,209 I have to ask you to leave God's Acre immediately! 231 00:13:52,376 --> 00:13:54,809 And don't show your face around here again! 232 00:13:57,142 --> 00:13:58,409 Are you happy now? 233 00:13:58,475 --> 00:14:02,841 Naturally. This is how atheists imagine immortality, after all. 234 00:14:02,874 --> 00:14:05,274 Being barred from the graveyard. 235 00:14:12,307 --> 00:14:18,173 Grandpa smells a bit strong, but he's otherwise pretty okay. 236 00:14:18,772 --> 00:14:21,439 Almost a shame that he has to be dying soon. 237 00:14:21,439 --> 00:14:23,639 I'll miss him, in a way. 238 00:14:23,672 --> 00:14:25,772 On the other hand, i'll get his big room then. 239 00:14:26,539 --> 00:14:28,005 But where was i? 240 00:14:28,405 --> 00:14:29,104 Ah, yes. 241 00:14:30,005 --> 00:14:31,005 Love. 242 00:14:31,805 --> 00:14:34,471 Yes, dear diary, i am in love. 243 00:14:35,371 --> 00:14:39,870 I didn't know that this emotion would disable logical thinking in such a big way. 244 00:14:40,637 --> 00:14:45,469 Actually, at this very moment, i am wearing father's Calvin Klein shorts as a headdress. 245 00:14:46,569 --> 00:14:48,136 I just felt like it. 246 00:14:48,836 --> 00:14:58,335 Fuck! FUCK! Goddamnit! Goddamn pig fuck shit ass fuck! *swearing continues* 247 00:14:59,802 --> 00:15:02,567 In a way, one becomes almost immune to negative influences. 248 00:15:02,934 --> 00:15:04,634 The rainforest is dying In Brazil. 249 00:15:04,967 --> 00:15:07,334 I will most likely be held back a year. 250 00:15:07,434 --> 00:15:09,699 And father is madly marauding through our house. 251 00:15:12,300 --> 00:15:18,565 Hey! Hey! Open up! Where! Are! My! Underpants! 252 00:15:19,932 --> 00:15:21,765 But i am thinking about one thing only. 253 00:15:23,432 --> 00:15:26,331 About love. Love. 254 00:15:27,231 --> 00:15:30,898 Object of my desire is Inge Koschmidder. 255 00:15:32,131 --> 00:15:34,431 Inge is seventy-six and already a bit decrepit. 256 00:15:34,464 --> 00:15:37,063 But i don't give a shit about sexual taboos 257 00:15:37,330 --> 00:15:39,730 Here too, boundaries need to be demolished. 258 00:15:40,763 --> 00:15:44,062 The day before tomorrow, i visited Inge to proclaim my love for her. 259 00:15:54,395 --> 00:15:56,461 It was probably just Nerves. 260 00:15:56,461 --> 00:16:00,760 Women are generally a bit more hesitant in these things than men, after all. 261 00:16:01,427 --> 00:16:02,894 Her heart says Yes. 262 00:16:03,693 --> 00:16:07,093 But the feminist half of her brain says No. 263 00:16:07,860 --> 00:16:09,959 After half an hour, i rang the doorbell again. 264 00:16:11,026 --> 00:16:13,692 Enough time for her to think about her feelings. 265 00:16:23,792 --> 00:16:26,424 What a devil's bride! 266 00:16:27,357 --> 00:16:30,557 She wanted to signal: Take me! 267 00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:32,824 Conquer me! 268 00:16:33,790 --> 00:16:35,323 THAT i can do. 269 00:16:36,056 --> 00:16:39,156 Today marks the beginning of the offensive, the storm towards Inges heart! 270 00:16:40,356 --> 00:16:45,122 And the path to a women's heart leads through her ear. 271 00:18:42,541 --> 00:18:46,275 Unfortunately, the damn pigs arrived and put an end to the performance. 272 00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:55,007 They would've loved to pin something on me, but had to let me go, because i am still a minor. 273 00:18:59,473 --> 00:19:00,939 What a day. 274 00:19:01,706 --> 00:19:05,139 But the social revolutionist does not know the meaning of midday nap. 275 00:19:05,173 --> 00:19:09,371 After all, i also wrote wildlife conservation on the banner of my engagement 276 00:19:10,438 --> 00:19:12,272 Soon i have to take Peppy for a walk. 277 00:19:13,205 --> 00:19:16,471 Surely he's already waiting for my arrival, while whimpering impatiently. 278 00:19:17,704 --> 00:19:18,704 The good boy. 279 00:19:19,570 --> 00:19:21,037 Helllllloooooohoooo 280 00:19:27,170 --> 00:19:28,536 Yes, yes. 281 00:19:29,670 --> 00:19:31,335 'sup, Mrs. Mövenpick? 282 00:19:31,935 --> 00:19:33,635 Can i take a walk with Peppy? 283 00:19:33,702 --> 00:19:34,969 But of course! 284 00:19:35,002 --> 00:19:38,435 The old lazybones needs a bit of a stroll. 285 00:19:38,435 --> 00:19:40,434 Someone is going to be very happy. 286 00:19:41,367 --> 00:19:42,468 Peppy... 287 00:19:43,367 --> 00:19:44,968 Lil' Peppy, where are you... 288 00:19:46,734 --> 00:19:48,933 Aha! There he is, the little rascal. 289 00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:53,900 But don't spoil him again. 290 00:19:54,533 --> 00:19:56,999 Ah, no worries, Mrs. Mövenpick. 291 00:19:58,799 --> 00:20:01,399 You know what i dreamt last night, Peppy? 292 00:20:02,065 --> 00:20:04,266 I dreamt that i had a dog. 293 00:20:05,265 --> 00:20:09,031 A real dog, y'know, not a rent-a-dog without pedigree like you. 294 00:20:09,564 --> 00:20:11,398 It was a real purebred. 295 00:20:12,231 --> 00:20:13,897 You were also in the dream. 296 00:20:14,330 --> 00:20:16,197 My dog ate you. 297 00:20:17,630 --> 00:20:18,930 Curious dream, isn't it? 298 00:20:21,097 --> 00:20:22,696 You see this stick? 299 00:20:23,562 --> 00:20:25,263 Nice stick, ain't it? 300 00:20:25,596 --> 00:20:29,663 Actually it's just a regular dumb, dried-out dirt-stick, 301 00:20:29,663 --> 00:20:36,195 but when i throw it, your animalistic instincts will force you to pant after it like it was a dalmatian bitch in heat. 302 00:20:36,895 --> 00:20:38,028 Go fetch! 303 00:20:48,926 --> 00:20:52,660 Oldest dog-gag in the world. Works every time. 304 00:20:54,726 --> 00:20:57,492 This is your flaw. You're too stupid. 305 00:20:58,092 --> 00:21:00,959 That's also the reason you're carrying newspapers for us. 306 00:21:00,992 --> 00:21:04,591 A cat would never do that. Not even a hamster. 307 00:21:07,958 --> 00:21:11,691 Oh, look here, Peppy. A little pile from the competition? 308 00:21:12,190 --> 00:21:13,190 Well, what now? 309 00:21:13,923 --> 00:21:15,490 The call of the wild. 310 00:21:15,523 --> 00:21:17,823 Don't you wanna at least sniff at it? 311 00:21:20,323 --> 00:21:22,355 Looks like i have to wake up your inner wolf. 312 00:21:24,322 --> 00:21:28,922 First you got to catch the scent, that's really important. Like so. 313 00:21:28,922 --> 00:21:31,921 And now you have to put your pile next to it. 314 00:21:31,921 --> 00:21:33,988 That's called marking. 315 00:21:37,188 --> 00:21:42,120 Peppy, Peppy... i'm seriously worrying about your natural instincts. 316 00:21:50,019 --> 00:21:54,253 Look, Peppy! Your arch-enemy! And three of them at once. 317 00:22:09,151 --> 00:22:13,616 Look how these sadistic creatures torment this defenseless mouse! 318 00:22:13,616 --> 00:22:15,683 This is your chance for redemption! 319 00:22:15,683 --> 00:22:17,483 Those rude fellows! 320 00:22:17,549 --> 00:22:21,082 But they didn't account for Super-Peppy! 321 00:22:33,381 --> 00:22:38,880 You know what your problem is, Peppy? You're leaving your defense wide open. 322 00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:47,779 My god, Peppy! What happened to you? 323 00:22:47,845 --> 00:22:50,845 It's his bad reflexes, Mrs. Möwenpick. 324 00:22:50,879 --> 00:22:53,146 You know what i'm thinking? 325 00:22:53,146 --> 00:22:55,011 No. What? 326 00:22:55,945 --> 00:22:58,544 I believe your dog is watching too much television. 327 00:22:59,844 --> 00:23:02,177 Oof, he went down! 328 00:23:06,610 --> 00:23:08,077 Listen up, folks. 329 00:23:08,110 --> 00:23:10,476 No, you'll b-b-b-be listening n-n-now! 330 00:23:10,476 --> 00:23:16,676 One more f-f-f-flopp-p-p-ped g-gig and you can go on t-t-t-tour alone! 331 00:23:16,709 --> 00:23:23,008 Singing texts by Salman Rushdi at that islamic fundamentalist meetup was just insanity. 332 00:23:23,008 --> 00:23:27,874 And how! They gave me fifty lashes on my bare soles! 333 00:23:27,874 --> 00:23:29,274 I understand, men. 334 00:23:29,274 --> 00:23:30,741 You are unhappy. 335 00:23:30,774 --> 00:23:33,741 You are yearning for applause, the jubilations of the masses. 336 00:23:33,741 --> 00:23:36,973 I know what you want; you want sparklers! 337 00:23:37,173 --> 00:23:38,940 S-s-s-sparklers?! 338 00:23:38,973 --> 00:23:39,973 339 00:23:40,006 --> 00:23:41,406 D-d-d-don't m-m-make me laugh! 340 00:23:41,406 --> 00:23:47,072 I j-j-just want to not b-be roughed up after a c-c-c-c-concert for once! 341 00:23:47,172 --> 00:23:50,272 Is that t-t-t-t-too much to ask f-f-f-for?! 342 00:23:50,305 --> 00:23:54,404 Do not fear, men. This time i have everything handled, i swear. 343 00:23:54,404 --> 00:23:59,771 I'm already d-d-d-dying to f-f-f-f-f-find out! 344 00:23:59,804 --> 00:24:05,370 Are you at least sure you picked the right music this time? 345 00:24:05,403 --> 00:24:07,003 Count on me, men! 346 00:24:07,003 --> 00:24:11,969 They'll put wreaths on us. They shall plead on their knees for an encore! 347 00:24:11,969 --> 00:24:15,802 S-s-s-s-swear! / Swear it! / Yeah, swear!" 348 00:24:16,569 --> 00:24:18,768 I swear. 349 00:24:27,967 --> 00:24:29,200 Howdy! 350 00:24:32,134 --> 00:24:37,633 Is not everyone of us like a truck in the night? 351 00:24:38,532 --> 00:24:43,365 On the road to nowhere, with questionable freight. 352 00:24:44,398 --> 00:24:49,365 Isn't the highway below us like a beautiful broad? 353 00:24:50,498 --> 00:24:55,431 Curvy and supple, like a naked body. 354 00:24:56,464 --> 00:25:01,296 Isn't being, isn't life just like a country song? 355 00:25:02,463 --> 00:25:07,196 Going in and going out and tough as concrete. 356 00:25:09,562 --> 00:25:11,795 Because where trucks are humming, 357 00:25:11,795 --> 00:25:14,395 where country music plays, 358 00:25:15,162 --> 00:25:17,628 that's where the stupid sit, 359 00:25:18,061 --> 00:25:20,428 because stupidity likes to drink. 360 00:25:21,128 --> 00:25:23,661 I don't give a shit about Hank Williams! 361 00:25:24,228 --> 00:25:26,260 I don't give a shit about Johnny Cash! 362 00:25:27,127 --> 00:25:29,260 I don't give a shit about Dolly Parton! 363 00:25:29,793 --> 00:25:32,393 Country makes me sick! 364 00:25:33,060 --> 00:25:38,159 This is the anti-country song, the anti-country tune. 365 00:25:39,226 --> 00:25:43,858 Anyone who likes country has a tiny dick. 366 00:25:52,424 --> 00:25:54,890 I must have a guardian angel, dear diary. 367 00:25:55,790 --> 00:25:58,424 Otherwise i wouldn't have escaped unharmed, 368 00:25:58,424 --> 00:26:01,189 while the boys got to eat a few fists. 369 00:26:03,022 --> 00:26:05,989 Maybe it will give them strength for their future life path. 370 00:26:07,289 --> 00:26:10,988 Brush yourself in youth and you won't have to comb in old age, as they say. 371 00:26:13,922 --> 00:26:15,155 01:30 372 00:26:16,221 --> 00:26:19,954 About time to conclude the day with some sexual experiments. 373 00:26:20,854 --> 00:26:23,520 Perhaps this time i'll get my first ejaculation. 374 00:26:24,486 --> 00:26:26,019 It should be about time for it. 375 00:26:26,886 --> 00:26:28,753 Kalle Klangmut had twenty-four already. 376 00:26:29,953 --> 00:26:31,319 Or so he says. 377 00:26:57,316 --> 00:27:00,116 Can you hear it? Can you hear the silence? 378 00:27:00,116 --> 00:27:05,782 Yeeees, you can hear it! Feel it! Smell it! Taste it! 379 00:27:07,215 --> 00:27:09,415 Aaah, this cosmic silence. 380 00:27:09,415 --> 00:27:11,948 The silence in the forest. 381 00:27:11,981 --> 00:27:14,181 No precocious comments. 382 00:27:14,248 --> 00:27:16,280 No bad jokes. 383 00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:17,614 You hear nothing! 384 00:27:18,513 --> 00:27:24,179 Because i have made a deal with my favorite son here, before breakfast. Right, son? 385 00:27:24,913 --> 00:27:29,479 If he opens his mouth even once while at the table, he'll get slapped so hard that the glasses will fly off! 386 00:27:31,179 --> 00:27:35,645 The good old punches. Old-fashioned authoritative upbringing. 387 00:27:36,545 --> 00:27:43,344 Aaaah, this silence. A simple banana cereal almost seems like a holiday feast. 388 00:27:43,344 --> 00:27:44,810 Dig in! 389 00:27:45,044 --> 00:27:46,211 'Sup! 390 00:27:47,544 --> 00:27:49,043 What? What is that now? 391 00:27:49,043 --> 00:27:51,676 I am the voice of the downtrodden! 392 00:27:51,676 --> 00:27:54,043 I am the outcry in the gulag! 393 00:27:54,910 --> 00:27:56,910 I'm the tenor in the prisoner choir. 394 00:27:57,642 --> 00:28:00,875 I rather believe you're the cause for a good beating! 395 00:28:01,575 --> 00:28:04,209 A moment! Our deal said nothing about ventriloquism 396 00:28:04,209 --> 00:28:07,208 Do you want to risk your pedagogical credibility? 397 00:28:07,241 --> 00:28:09,041 There are witnesses! 398 00:28:16,073 --> 00:28:17,306 I'll get it. 399 00:28:21,473 --> 00:28:24,639 Well, dad. He's got ya there. 400 00:28:28,239 --> 00:28:29,606 Yes, hello? 401 00:28:30,939 --> 00:28:34,004 No, this isn't the crisis hotline, you have the wrong number. 402 00:28:35,538 --> 00:28:39,138 But say, are you in some distress? 403 00:28:44,770 --> 00:28:46,037 Oh, shit. 404 00:28:46,637 --> 00:28:48,269 That's really rough. 405 00:28:50,569 --> 00:28:54,569 Yes, actually. Your situation sounds very much hopeless to me, too. 406 00:28:57,735 --> 00:29:01,935 No, no, i understand completely. You must feel like the biggest piece of dirt. 407 00:29:01,968 --> 00:29:03,702 And rightly so. 408 00:29:05,234 --> 00:29:08,300 No, no, i wouldn't put any hope in that. 409 00:29:10,267 --> 00:29:11,667 Suicide? 410 00:29:13,333 --> 00:29:15,200 That would of course be a solution. 411 00:29:16,799 --> 00:29:19,533 But please, no thanks needed. My pleasure. 412 00:29:19,966 --> 00:29:23,599 Bye! Or better.. adieu.. 413 00:29:24,465 --> 00:29:25,699 Who was it? 414 00:29:26,498 --> 00:29:29,132 Don't worry. Already dealt with. 415 00:29:32,364 --> 00:29:37,764 Dear diary. Something terrible has happened. 416 00:29:39,097 --> 00:29:44,163 As i was passing by Inge Koschmidders apartment on my daily patrol.. 417 00:29:45,063 --> 00:29:48,162 i saw that she was talking to a strange man. 418 00:29:49,696 --> 00:29:52,062 They lowered their voices while i strolled by. 419 00:29:53,862 --> 00:29:55,162 That whore! 420 00:29:56,261 --> 00:29:58,528 She cheats on me while i am watching. 421 00:29:59,328 --> 00:30:02,061 Never in my life have i been this humiliated; 422 00:30:02,061 --> 00:30:04,127 the pain is indescribable. 423 00:30:07,894 --> 00:30:12,859 I do not believe that i am able to ever feel something like love again in my life. 424 00:30:12,859 --> 00:30:16,292 Any emotion inside of me has been exterminated. 425 00:30:16,292 --> 00:30:23,758 I feel as though i'd like to march into a small, defenseless country and to establish a terror regime there. 426 00:30:31,757 --> 00:30:33,691 But.. you just don't do that kind of thing. 427 00:30:34,691 --> 00:30:39,223 I shall strike back still. Not with her own, primitive means, 428 00:30:39,223 --> 00:30:41,190 No, more subtle, with style. 429 00:30:41,956 --> 00:30:45,323 But enough of that. Other duties await. 430 00:30:46,056 --> 00:30:51,589 As substitute for Kalle Klamrot, who is sadly medically incapacitated, i am delivering warm food to the disabled. 431 00:31:17,519 --> 00:31:18,686 'Sup! 432 00:31:18,686 --> 00:31:21,118 The young samaritans sent me; i'm bringing the food. 433 00:31:21,151 --> 00:31:27,518 That's fine. You are Kalle's fill-in? Please place it on the table, yes? 434 00:31:30,884 --> 00:31:36,617 Would you read me a bit from the newspaper while i eat? That's what Kalle always did. 435 00:31:37,516 --> 00:31:42,616 Say.. are you really blind? Or is this all so someone whipes your ass for you? 436 00:31:42,616 --> 00:31:46,315 Now listen! Of course i'm blind! 437 00:31:46,948 --> 00:31:48,615 That should be easy enough to find out. 438 00:31:56,214 --> 00:31:59,947 Well, either you really are blind or you have no sense of humor. 439 00:31:59,947 --> 00:32:01,947 I AM blind! 440 00:32:02,746 --> 00:32:03,979 Oh, shit. 441 00:32:04,080 --> 00:32:09,180 I'm so sorry. You poor, poor blind man.. 442 00:32:09,213 --> 00:32:11,079 I don't want your pity! 443 00:32:11,179 --> 00:32:17,245 I understand your bitterness. At least for today, let me be your eye onto the world. I'm going to read now. 444 00:32:20,811 --> 00:32:22,844 That one's so hot! 445 00:32:23,411 --> 00:32:26,244 The titty girl from page 2; here, look! 446 00:32:27,643 --> 00:32:32,910 Oh, apologies. I am so very insensitive. I will read you the measurements. 447 00:32:32,976 --> 00:32:40,676 Ninety-eight. Sixty-four. Ninety-two. Well? Any movement? 448 00:32:41,376 --> 00:32:43,842 A blind (false) alert, you could say. 449 00:32:46,774 --> 00:32:54,207 It's not easy to do something nice for you. Soo.. gotta go now. You're not the only cripple on my route. 450 00:32:55,674 --> 00:32:59,440 I'm on my way now. Bye! Aaand i'm gone. 451 00:33:04,673 --> 00:33:08,206 Psst, psst, i wasn't even gone yet! 452 00:33:08,673 --> 00:33:13,505 Really gotta go now, though. Don't let your food get cold - it's fresh mole today. 453 00:33:14,271 --> 00:33:16,705 You dirty little bastard! 454 00:33:17,005 --> 00:33:18,704 Missed me. 455 00:33:20,770 --> 00:33:24,671 I always thought, blind people were optimistic, humerous contemporaries. 456 00:33:24,671 --> 00:33:26,304 Like Stevie Wonder. 457 00:33:26,903 --> 00:33:28,170 Guess i was mistaken. 458 00:33:29,070 --> 00:33:31,170 But, no reason to be embittered. 459 00:33:32,003 --> 00:33:33,803 Don't we all have our crosses to bear? 460 00:33:34,736 --> 00:33:35,735 Me, for instance. 461 00:33:36,302 --> 00:33:38,935 The hour of my biology presentation draws ever closer. 462 00:33:38,935 --> 00:33:40,768 Nevertheless i won't lament. 463 00:33:41,302 --> 00:33:42,302 To the contrary 464 00:33:42,768 --> 00:33:47,134 At this point i can reveal that my work on it is developing splendidly. 465 00:33:47,168 --> 00:33:48,201 a note reading: (Fucking) -> (Licking) -> (Blowing) 466 00:33:49,767 --> 00:33:51,933 I not only believe that it will elate my teacher 467 00:33:51,933 --> 00:33:53,800 and guarantee my transfer 468 00:33:53,800 --> 00:33:57,233 but that it will make waves throughout established biological science 469 00:33:57,966 --> 00:34:00,332 The topic is human sexuality. 470 00:34:01,166 --> 00:34:07,166 For many interesting approaches, i can thank grandfather, who awakened my interest in this nascent field of research at a very early age. 471 00:34:07,166 --> 00:34:13,965 For example, i always fondly remember the delicious episode when we tried to push grandfather off onto an old folks home. 472 00:34:16,331 --> 00:34:18,130 I don't wanna go into a home! 473 00:34:18,964 --> 00:34:22,664 It's not a home, grandpa, it's a senior pen. 474 00:34:22,664 --> 00:34:26,563 The only senior pen i know hangs between my legs. 475 00:34:29,762 --> 00:34:32,996 Grandpa, get a grip! We need to make a good first impression. 476 00:34:32,996 --> 00:34:34,562 They don't take just everyone here. 477 00:34:38,095 --> 00:34:41,861 Ah, our new guest! Welcome to St. Anna-Pen 478 00:34:42,527 --> 00:34:43,927 Good day. 'sup! 479 00:34:44,694 --> 00:34:46,794 Just a few small formalities. 480 00:34:46,794 --> 00:34:49,360 What medications do you have to take regularly? 481 00:34:49,394 --> 00:34:53,093 Morphine. But you just have to get the stuff to me. 482 00:34:53,093 --> 00:34:54,826 I can shoot up myself. 483 00:34:56,293 --> 00:34:58,726 And it's not like i shit the bed or something; i'm low-maintenance 484 00:34:58,726 --> 00:35:01,358 I just fall out of the wheelchair every now and then and puke on the carpet. 485 00:35:01,459 --> 00:35:03,825 But i don't notice that, 'cuz morphine. 486 00:35:03,825 --> 00:35:05,659 Just leave me down there. 487 00:35:05,659 --> 00:35:08,658 You can vacuum the puke away when it's dried up. 488 00:35:09,357 --> 00:35:14,624 Errr... err.. Do you have... any ... hobbies? 489 00:35:14,624 --> 00:35:18,057 Yeah, sure! Compulsive masturbation. 490 00:35:19,057 --> 00:35:20,057 What now? 491 00:35:21,490 --> 00:35:24,989 I'm talking about my senior pen. I take it into my hand and ... 492 00:35:25,489 --> 00:35:26,489 Grandpa... 493 00:35:26,489 --> 00:35:28,556 What religion are you part of? 494 00:35:28,556 --> 00:35:30,656 Church Of The Holy Vagina 495 00:35:30,755 --> 00:35:31,755 The What? 496 00:35:32,322 --> 00:35:35,121 Vagina. V. A. G. ... 497 00:35:35,188 --> 00:35:38,088 Alright, i know how to spell it! 498 00:35:38,088 --> 00:35:40,888 What religion is that supposed to be? 499 00:35:40,888 --> 00:35:47,420 We believe in the screwed conception. We believe God is a MILF, with big natural.. 500 00:35:47,753 --> 00:35:48,753 Grandpa! 501 00:35:48,987 --> 00:35:51,352 We have our own burial rites, too. 502 00:35:51,352 --> 00:35:54,153 We believe the genitals live on. 503 00:35:54,153 --> 00:35:56,752 Only the rest of the body gets inhumed. 504 00:35:56,752 --> 00:36:01,152 Oh, i'm so sorry, i'm just seeing that we are fully booked! 505 00:36:01,185 --> 00:36:04,685 Nurse Ursua! Would you escort these gentlemen out, please? 506 00:36:05,318 --> 00:36:08,717 Of course. Please follow me, this way. 507 00:36:09,217 --> 00:36:12,651 I'll be jiggered! A sex goddess! 508 00:36:13,984 --> 00:36:15,616 You're not a nurse! 509 00:36:16,150 --> 00:36:17,683 You're the goddess of lust! 510 00:36:19,516 --> 00:36:21,583 You are The Holy Vagina! 511 00:36:23,815 --> 00:36:25,915 Stay here! 512 00:36:26,649 --> 00:36:31,449 I don't wanna go home! I wanna be in the old folks home! Please, please! 513 00:36:32,115 --> 00:36:33,948 Oh shut up, will ya? 514 00:36:35,347 --> 00:36:37,847 After that we decided to just nurse him to death. 515 00:36:37,847 --> 00:36:42,947 It's cheaper. And father and mother can skim some off the top when it comes to his medications. 516 00:36:44,180 --> 00:36:45,213 I must close now. 517 00:36:46,313 --> 00:36:48,613 It's open house at the broadcasting center, 518 00:36:48,613 --> 00:36:51,079 a media circus that i can't miss. 519 00:37:00,511 --> 00:37:01,511 'sup! 520 00:37:09,810 --> 00:37:10,944 (ON AIR) 521 00:37:24,675 --> 00:37:29,542 Hello, Hello. Hello, Hello. Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello! 522 00:37:31,541 --> 00:37:33,941 You will now hear a few very strange noises. 523 00:38:01,204 --> 00:38:02,971 And now, the news. 524 00:38:03,138 --> 00:38:05,103 Greater federal area: 525 00:38:05,403 --> 00:38:08,503 Pay heed to big white fuzzy things that are flying through the air. 526 00:38:08,903 --> 00:38:12,870 They escaped from the genetic laboraty in Pforz and are very dangerous. 527 00:38:13,270 --> 00:38:16,569 Contacting with the skin will lead to women getting pregnant and men turning gay. 528 00:38:18,502 --> 00:38:23,068 Bonn: Effective immediately, housewives without a side job will have to make themselves available to 529 00:38:23,068 --> 00:38:28,334 unemployed, unshaven men with bad breath for the purposes of satisfying physical needs, free of charge. 530 00:38:29,001 --> 00:38:34,067 The federal government hopes that this will lead to a sudden leap in growth for population and industry. 531 00:38:34,200 --> 00:38:39,199 Simply join the queue in your nearest supermarket or leave your housedoor unlocked. 532 00:38:43,099 --> 00:38:45,332 Now to traffic, for a missing person announcement: 533 00:38:45,433 --> 00:38:51,598 Mr. *static*, living in *static*, driving a Gold with the plate *more static*, make your way home immediately! 534 00:38:51,598 --> 00:38:52,965 Your house is on fire. 535 00:38:55,664 --> 00:38:58,531 And now a very special message for Inge Koschmidder. 536 00:38:59,464 --> 00:39:01,330 Yes, Inge, i mean you! 537 00:39:01,864 --> 00:39:05,329 You whore! You fucked the mailman! 538 00:39:05,663 --> 00:39:10,796 Yes, the whole world shall know; Inge Koschmidder fucks mailmen! 539 00:39:11,130 --> 00:39:12,263 You bitch! 540 00:39:14,929 --> 00:39:17,395 ... and i loved you once ... 541 00:39:18,862 --> 00:39:19,962 There's the guy! 542 00:39:21,394 --> 00:39:23,561 And don't show your face here again! 543 00:39:25,861 --> 00:39:27,694 Well... 544 00:39:27,694 --> 00:39:30,193 I think this will teach Inge a lesson. 545 00:39:30,660 --> 00:39:33,127 Playing with my heart means playing with fire. 546 00:39:33,127 --> 00:39:35,627 She has to learn that i have feelings as well. 547 00:39:36,627 --> 00:39:39,759 Older people sadly tend to lack sensibility. 548 00:39:41,959 --> 00:39:43,992 Duties, duties, duties ... 549 00:39:44,692 --> 00:39:49,625 Grandfather needs his walkies. A bit of oxygen, a few nice words. 550 00:39:49,824 --> 00:39:51,691 It will distract him from dying. 551 00:39:55,557 --> 00:40:00,590 I you think about it, old age actually has an enormous amount of upsides. 552 00:40:00,790 --> 00:40:02,257 Oh yeah? Like what? 553 00:40:02,257 --> 00:40:04,156 Well.. err... 554 00:40:04,589 --> 00:40:09,023 For example.. you can.. show your disability ID around. 555 00:40:09,689 --> 00:40:13,221 Sure! I can't swim anymore, but i can go to the swimming pool for free. 556 00:40:13,221 --> 00:40:16,055 I can't see or hear, but i get free admission to the theatre. 557 00:40:16,055 --> 00:40:17,755 Fuck all i can do. 558 00:40:19,155 --> 00:40:22,687 What do you think you should be able to do with a disability ID? 559 00:40:22,687 --> 00:40:25,187 You should be able to get free admission to the brothel! 560 00:40:28,021 --> 00:40:30,786 Can you actually talk about anything but sex? 561 00:40:30,986 --> 00:40:32,819 Why? Is there anything else? 562 00:40:33,353 --> 00:40:35,186 Alright, i get it. 563 00:40:35,253 --> 00:40:39,252 Is there something from your rich sexual experiences 564 00:40:39,252 --> 00:40:43,052 that you want to share with a young human like me for my future life? 565 00:40:43,152 --> 00:40:44,052 Yeaaah.. 566 00:40:44,119 --> 00:40:48,384 Don't masturbate more than twelve times a day. 567 00:40:48,384 --> 00:40:50,918 At least not over a long period of time. 568 00:40:51,618 --> 00:40:52,618 Why? 569 00:40:52,651 --> 00:40:55,983 What do you think put me in the wheelchair to begin with? 570 00:40:56,517 --> 00:40:59,050 You're a dirty old man, you know that? 571 00:40:59,083 --> 00:40:59,883 Oh, i know. 572 00:41:00,283 --> 00:41:03,916 My nurse can wash me as often as he wants, i still feel dirty afterwards. 573 00:41:04,649 --> 00:41:06,082 I feel like that's unnatural. 574 00:41:06,082 --> 00:41:07,082 Why? 575 00:41:07,749 --> 00:41:11,714 If god had wanted you to get a boner at this age, he'd have given him wings. 576 00:41:23,247 --> 00:41:26,580 You know... you're kinda okay. 577 00:41:28,013 --> 00:41:32,013 You remind me of what i was at your age. 578 00:41:32,413 --> 00:41:34,246 A short-sighted small boy? 579 00:41:34,246 --> 00:41:37,778 No, a short-sighted little asshole! 580 00:41:39,112 --> 00:41:42,112 What is this ugly new building there? 581 00:41:44,045 --> 00:41:45,777 That's the new hospital. 582 00:41:45,777 --> 00:41:47,577 Oh, that's good then! 583 00:41:48,077 --> 00:41:50,710 Because i'm just getting a heart attack! 584 00:42:01,409 --> 00:42:04,242 Maybe i get grandfathers room pretty soon, after all. 585 00:42:04,242 --> 00:42:09,142 He survived the heart attack, but the doctors said there is a good chance of another one. 586 00:42:09,741 --> 00:42:13,674 In all this excitement, i almost forgot Inge. The good one. 587 00:42:13,674 --> 00:42:16,841 To love means to forgive, dear diary. 588 00:42:17,908 --> 00:42:22,040 I shall send a signal that the path to my heart is open yet again. 589 00:42:39,338 --> 00:42:40,471 Hello? 590 00:42:45,737 --> 00:42:47,337 Hello? 591 00:42:52,202 --> 00:42:57,669 I am young and you are old, I am still warm, you'll soon be cold. 592 00:43:02,468 --> 00:43:08,268 You feel weak, i feel strong, I am the nail, you are the coffin. 593 00:43:13,800 --> 00:43:18,933 As i frolick through life, all that waits for you is the urn. 594 00:43:18,933 --> 00:43:24,033 And as you wail in the here-after, i will as though born anew. 595 00:43:26,599 --> 00:43:32,032 But i don't care, for you're my treasure! 596 00:43:32,032 --> 00:43:37,264 You're so nice, so full of beauty, like a parking garage 597 00:43:37,564 --> 00:43:38,998 that's closed. 598 00:43:39,864 --> 00:43:45,763 I am the chrome, you are the rust, I'm fertilizer, you're compost. 599 00:44:01,861 --> 00:44:07,028 As i frolick through life, all that waits for you is the urn. 600 00:44:07,028 --> 00:44:13,027 We were just breeding and now you're inhumed. 601 00:44:14,960 --> 00:44:20,059 But i don't care, for you're my treasure! 602 00:44:20,059 --> 00:44:24,626 I don't care for your cholesterol, I need you 603 00:44:25,625 --> 00:44:27,691 like heroin. 604 00:44:28,392 --> 00:44:34,591 You're missing strength, i have the pull, I am the wind, you are the lull. 605 00:44:38,991 --> 00:44:44,723 You're withered, i'm still crispy, I'll inherit the money, i find that funny. 606 00:44:47,556 --> 00:44:52,955 Nothing diminishes the love for you, neither gout nor Alzheimers. 607 00:45:01,054 --> 00:45:02,988 Hello, hello! Inge! 608 00:45:06,888 --> 00:45:07,887 Broads. 609 00:45:10,020 --> 00:45:13,087 And then i did just that. With a blindfold. 610 00:45:13,087 --> 00:45:16,619 One one leg. On the back of that shark. 611 00:45:16,619 --> 00:45:22,352 And laughed danger straight in the face. 612 00:45:23,552 --> 00:45:26,485 I'm here to pick up Peppy, Ms. Möwenpick. 613 00:45:29,184 --> 00:45:33,950 Peppy....! I know you're here somewhere! 614 00:45:36,750 --> 00:45:39,584 There he is, the little rascal... 615 00:45:43,182 --> 00:45:45,816 Come now, Peppy. Stop this childishness. 616 00:45:48,816 --> 00:45:49,815 Peppy... 617 00:45:53,915 --> 00:45:59,714 I'm about to get angry... my patience is almost at its end, Peppy. 618 00:46:02,280 --> 00:46:04,647 But, Peppy... 619 00:46:08,446 --> 00:46:09,980 Missed me. 620 00:46:11,480 --> 00:46:14,179 Now you've gone and made me angry, Peppy. 621 00:46:14,346 --> 00:46:17,112 That, sadly, means that i must punish you. 622 00:46:17,745 --> 00:46:22,278 But Peppy, you don't even know how to use that thing... 623 00:46:23,844 --> 00:46:25,844 DOWN! Peppy, down! 624 00:46:27,511 --> 00:46:33,643 There is a brandnew dewormer i absolutely have to test out on you, my four-legged friend. 625 00:46:36,443 --> 00:46:41,576 But Peppy, you really shouldn't do that. Smoking is bad for your health. 626 00:46:42,942 --> 00:46:45,076 Peppy, Peppy, Peppy, Peppy.... 627 00:46:47,542 --> 00:46:51,674 Did you know that dog counts as a delicacy in China? 628 00:46:52,341 --> 00:46:55,841 I even came up with a recipe already, it's called Peppy Bolognese. 629 00:46:56,508 --> 00:46:59,007 You take a perfectly normal dog. 630 00:46:59,007 --> 00:47:01,007 One just like you, Peppy. 631 00:47:01,007 --> 00:47:04,474 Add garlic, tomato, a lot of oregano 632 00:47:04,474 --> 00:47:10,806 Broil at high temperature until crispy brown, then add onions. 633 00:47:10,806 --> 00:47:14,738 Some people do it the opposite way around, but i like the onions glassy instead of crispy. 634 00:47:14,938 --> 00:47:16,671 Then i add some (drowned out) 635 00:47:27,404 --> 00:47:28,770 'Sup, Ms. Möwenpick. 636 00:47:29,137 --> 00:47:32,936 Just wanted to check up on Peppy. Can he go on walks again? 637 00:47:32,936 --> 00:47:36,636 Of course. A bit of fresh air will be good for him. 638 00:47:38,169 --> 00:47:42,035 Y'know, i am a bit worried about Peppy. 639 00:47:42,069 --> 00:47:43,235 Why? 640 00:47:43,369 --> 00:47:48,568 Well, ever since your last walk, he's behaving very weirdly. 641 00:47:49,501 --> 00:47:51,401 Now where is he? 642 00:47:52,368 --> 00:47:54,667 Oh, there he is! 643 00:47:56,900 --> 00:48:00,433 You know, Peppy, i've been thinking about our relationship. 644 00:48:00,800 --> 00:48:03,166 There is some unneccessary tension. 645 00:48:03,166 --> 00:48:05,199 That's why i got you something. 646 00:48:05,832 --> 00:48:08,966 Nom nom nom, a tasty sausage! 647 00:48:10,499 --> 00:48:12,698 What you don't know, dear Peppy, 648 00:48:12,698 --> 00:48:17,231 is that this sausage contained a hefty dose of LSD-25. 649 00:48:17,631 --> 00:48:20,465 That is a very potent hallucinogen. 650 00:48:20,465 --> 00:48:23,530 Allegedly it makes it easier to see problems more clearly 651 00:48:23,530 --> 00:48:26,630 and it strengthens sensory information in a most fascinating way. 652 00:48:26,630 --> 00:48:30,963 They say bodily activity makes it go faster through the bloodstream into the brain. 653 00:48:30,963 --> 00:48:33,063 where it's full effectiveness unfolds. 654 00:48:35,096 --> 00:48:38,462 Are you noticing anything yet, Peppy? 655 00:48:42,595 --> 00:48:46,961 This is just the right moment to test your reflexes under extreme conditions. 656 00:48:50,861 --> 00:48:53,961 Just relax, Peppy. Be yourself. 657 00:48:54,494 --> 00:48:55,493 Four 658 00:48:56,026 --> 00:48:57,026 Three 659 00:48:57,460 --> 00:48:58,460 Two 660 00:48:58,759 --> 00:48:59,759 One 661 00:48:59,960 --> 00:49:00,960 Zero. 662 00:50:14,451 --> 00:50:15,717 Peppy. 663 00:50:16,817 --> 00:50:18,584 Peppy, are you paying attention? 664 00:50:40,581 --> 00:50:44,014 Peppy, Peppy, Peppy, Peppy.. i'll take note: 665 00:50:44,448 --> 00:50:50,913 No noteworthy improvements in terms of reflexes through ingestion of lysergic acid diethylamide. 666 00:50:50,913 --> 00:50:53,179 What do we learn from this, Peppy? 667 00:50:54,779 --> 00:50:59,112 Keep away from hard drugs. Nothing good comes from it. 668 00:51:04,345 --> 00:51:06,711 My god, Peppy! 669 00:51:06,711 --> 00:51:09,711 The reflexes, Ms. Möwenpick. His old problem. 670 00:51:11,243 --> 00:51:14,177 But not just that, Ms. Möwenpick. Not just that... 671 00:51:15,643 --> 00:51:18,676 I have a terrible suspicion. 672 00:51:18,676 --> 00:51:21,242 Oh no, what? 673 00:51:21,242 --> 00:51:23,809 I fear that your dog is taking drugs. 674 00:51:29,542 --> 00:51:35,507 Dear diary. You're probably wondering why i wear father's black shorts on my head. 675 00:51:36,341 --> 00:51:37,841 I am in mourning. 676 00:51:39,407 --> 00:51:44,239 Yes, i mourn Inge Koschmidder. For she is not among us anymore. 677 00:51:45,873 --> 00:51:49,773 As i was coming back from my walk with Peppy, the hearse stood in front of the door. 678 00:51:55,638 --> 00:51:58,539 The grim reaper took Inge from us. 679 00:51:59,605 --> 00:52:02,938 I was a fool to gift my heart to such an unreliable person. 680 00:52:02,938 --> 00:52:07,804 First the mailman and now she steals herselfs out of our relationship in such a cowardly fashion. 681 00:52:07,804 --> 00:52:10,770 I am very disappointed with Inge. 682 00:52:12,103 --> 00:52:13,937 But life goes on, does it not? 683 00:52:14,803 --> 00:52:17,602 The dogs bark, yet the caravan moves on. 684 00:52:18,336 --> 00:52:20,369 I shall seek to forget through my work. 685 00:52:32,268 --> 00:52:33,768 Men, trust me! 686 00:52:35,133 --> 00:52:37,967 Sure, there were tears and pain in the past 687 00:52:38,167 --> 00:52:41,434 but is that not the fate of all unyielding rock rebels? 688 00:52:41,934 --> 00:52:44,899 Think of Jim Morrison! Think of Sid Vicious! 689 00:52:44,899 --> 00:52:48,333 Jim M-m-m-orris-s-s-on is d-d-ead, you a-a-a-asshole! 690 00:52:48,366 --> 00:52:50,099 And Sid Vicious, too! 691 00:52:50,699 --> 00:52:52,365 Sid Vicious is dead? 692 00:52:52,731 --> 00:52:55,631 But i bought a record of him just yesterday. 693 00:52:55,665 --> 00:52:57,598 This gig will be our breakthrough. 694 00:52:57,598 --> 00:53:00,064 Our triumphal march into a better world. 695 00:53:00,497 --> 00:53:04,497 A world of sex, drugs and willing groupies. 696 00:53:05,064 --> 00:53:09,430 I feel it. No, i KNOW it! 697 00:53:11,430 --> 00:53:12,396 Should i vow? 698 00:53:12,396 --> 00:53:14,063 Better not. 699 00:53:34,226 --> 00:53:37,460 Hm, tasty vegetables! My thanks for that! 700 00:53:38,660 --> 00:53:42,225 Hm, tasty vegetables! My thanks for that! 701 00:53:43,026 --> 00:53:46,359 It's a quarter past 10 already! 702 00:53:49,292 --> 00:53:52,158 My thanks for that! 703 00:53:52,491 --> 00:53:54,991 It's a quarter past 10 already! 704 00:54:01,490 --> 00:54:04,990 Bless you! Bless you! Bless you! 705 00:54:20,488 --> 00:54:22,022 Well, what's up? 706 00:54:22,022 --> 00:54:25,887 You got something against multi-cultural influence? 707 00:54:33,420 --> 00:54:38,520 It borders on a miracle that we managed to escape with our lives, dear diary. 708 00:54:39,320 --> 00:54:43,352 I was able to flee through a stage shaft, while the boys got the brunt of it. 709 00:54:43,352 --> 00:54:47,085 Especially Kalle Klamrott was put through the ringer. 710 00:54:47,885 --> 00:54:50,217 But we all have to sacrifice something, don't we? 711 00:54:50,217 --> 00:54:52,284 And is my lot not the hardest to bear? 712 00:54:52,851 --> 00:54:58,317 After all, i had to go to bed without supper because i used fathers shorts to make a telephone cover... 713 00:54:58,317 --> 00:55:00,883 ... which was supposed to be a surprise for Inge. 714 00:55:02,083 --> 00:55:06,516 I shall end this evening with some final experiments in the lower regions. 715 00:55:24,814 --> 00:55:29,080 Dear diary! You won't believe what just happened! 716 00:55:42,312 --> 00:55:45,145 What a day, i'm so excited. 717 00:55:45,578 --> 00:55:48,844 First the biology presentation, then the school festival this evening. 718 00:55:48,844 --> 00:55:50,311 Are you nervous, my boy? 719 00:55:51,044 --> 00:55:52,644 Fret not, mother. 720 00:55:52,644 --> 00:55:56,177 I am at inner rest like a buddhist bear in hibernation. 721 00:55:56,177 --> 00:55:57,609 I don't doubt THAT. 722 00:55:57,609 --> 00:56:01,576 But what i doubt is that you're actually prepared for your presentation. 723 00:56:02,510 --> 00:56:05,076 You're doing me a disservice, father! As so often... 724 00:56:05,076 --> 00:56:06,708 But i forgive you. 725 00:56:07,608 --> 00:56:11,208 What i hold in my hands here is not just some simple homework. 726 00:56:11,742 --> 00:56:15,374 After it's publishing, the whole field of biology will have to be redefined. 727 00:56:16,074 --> 00:56:19,441 It is probably the first biology presentation that will be considered for the Nobel prize. 728 00:56:21,041 --> 00:56:23,106 Well, that really puts me at ease... 729 00:56:27,206 --> 00:56:28,473 May i begin? 730 00:56:29,507 --> 00:56:30,806 Go ahead. 731 00:56:31,306 --> 00:56:32,739 Lights off, please. 732 00:56:34,972 --> 00:56:36,772 We begin with the genitals. 733 00:56:38,072 --> 00:56:42,505 The human fascination with genitals is as long-lasting as it is inexplicable. 734 00:56:43,271 --> 00:56:47,603 No other bodypart garners even remotely the same level of attentiveness. 735 00:56:47,904 --> 00:56:51,070 An elbow, for example, can be of flawless beauty 736 00:56:51,070 --> 00:56:56,769 but it will never produce the same 'Hello!' as a penis or a vagina. 737 00:56:56,869 --> 00:57:01,269 Despite the fact that those objectively look like radioactive vegetables from outer space. 738 00:57:02,136 --> 00:57:10,235 It may stay an eternal mystery of creation why the genitals don't have the appearance of something that pleases the eye 739 00:57:10,235 --> 00:57:14,934 Perhabs that of a cyclamen or a handmade glass vase from the Harz region. 740 00:57:16,801 --> 00:57:20,700 The male member is generally seen as the Mercedes of genitals. 741 00:57:21,167 --> 00:57:28,033 When erect, a naturally grown male member reaches a length of about 60 cm (23.6 in) and weighs around 3 kg (6.6 lbs). 742 00:57:29,566 --> 00:57:34,832 The male member can ejaculate exactly 950 times, which is pretty much half a bucket full. 743 00:57:35,365 --> 00:57:41,798 The male semen consists of braincells that are sent, via the hypothalamus and the spinal cord, to the testicles. 744 00:57:41,798 --> 00:57:49,430 A man loses about 5 billion braincells with every ejaculation, twice as much as under general anesthesia. 745 00:57:49,430 --> 00:57:52,897 Essential for the production of semen is virility. 746 00:57:53,696 --> 00:57:58,262 As a rule-of-thumb: A man can shoot off as many times a day as his age in years. 747 00:57:58,729 --> 00:58:02,896 If your figures are lower than that, you should worry. You likely have testicular cancer. 748 00:58:03,761 --> 00:58:06,995 The female member, also called clitoris or tickler 749 00:58:07,228 --> 00:58:10,295 is, compared to the male one, hardly worth mentioning. 750 00:58:10,628 --> 00:58:16,927 Naturally dwarvish and inhibited, it hides behind two skinflaps, the labia 751 00:58:16,927 --> 00:58:20,227 which are often surrounded by a gorgeous beard growth. 752 00:58:20,793 --> 00:58:23,859 Men prefer mighty, space-filling labia. 753 00:58:23,859 --> 00:58:28,925 You can actually determine the size of a woman's labia without ever having seen her naked. 754 00:58:28,925 --> 00:58:35,758 Multiply the length of her earlobes with the width of her upper lip and you get the size of the labia in square centimeters. 755 00:58:39,157 --> 00:58:45,424 My intention to inject some humor into the bland subject matter was sadly not rewarded with high grades, dear diary. 756 00:58:45,990 --> 00:58:49,290 I share this fate with other great men in history. 757 00:58:49,623 --> 00:58:54,122 Giordano Bruno, Galileo Galilei, Erich Honecker... 758 00:58:54,688 --> 00:58:57,922 Brothers in spirit. Time will prove us right. 759 00:58:58,789 --> 00:59:04,354 Grandfather is still in the hospital. I will visit him and give him some comfort and hope. 760 00:59:05,254 --> 00:59:10,221 I will also check in on Kalle. It's not as serious for him as we thought, after all. 761 00:59:10,221 --> 00:59:14,820 The doctors say he might be able to urinate without a catheter in a few short months. 762 00:59:31,485 --> 00:59:32,751 'Sup! 763 00:59:42,484 --> 00:59:45,983 You got some nice flower pictures here. Are they mouth-painted? 764 00:59:49,949 --> 00:59:53,515 Hello... err. He.. Hello Kalle! 765 00:59:54,282 --> 00:59:58,015 How.. err.. How you doing? Old Chum! 766 00:59:59,415 --> 01:00:04,514 Buddy. Oh, very interesting. Damn nazis, eh? Hehe. 767 01:00:07,514 --> 01:00:13,046 Well then. Surely you two have some fun together. Wouldn't wanna bother you there. 768 01:00:14,579 --> 01:00:16,646 And don't blabber so much. 769 01:01:10,706 --> 01:01:16,139 (weird noises) 770 01:01:20,038 --> 01:01:21,972 Next patient please. 771 01:01:25,205 --> 01:01:26,904 Come in. 772 01:01:29,037 --> 01:01:30,170 Are you the doctor? 773 01:01:30,170 --> 01:01:31,604 Why not? 774 01:01:31,871 --> 01:01:34,437 Well, you're so small and ... 775 01:01:34,437 --> 01:01:38,636 Indeed; i am the smallest doctor in Europe. Is that a problem for you? 776 01:01:38,636 --> 01:01:40,203 No, no, no, not at all. 777 01:01:41,103 --> 01:01:42,736 Why are you naked? 778 01:01:42,803 --> 01:01:44,735 Why are you not naked? 779 01:01:45,469 --> 01:01:47,035 Undress, quickly! 780 01:01:53,434 --> 01:01:56,368 Well then, let's have a look at your X-rays. 781 01:01:57,834 --> 01:01:59,634 Ooooh, shit. 782 01:01:59,634 --> 01:02:00,566 What? What? 783 01:02:00,566 --> 01:02:02,566 A tumor! There. 784 01:02:02,900 --> 01:02:04,933 What? Where? Where?! 785 01:02:05,267 --> 01:02:06,600 Right there. There! 786 01:02:06,600 --> 01:02:08,665 Oh god! That's a tumor? 787 01:02:10,132 --> 01:02:13,165 No. No, no. No. That's a grease stain. 788 01:02:13,165 --> 01:02:16,232 A small error; my fault. Oh, i'm so sorry. 789 01:02:16,232 --> 01:02:21,998 I can only apologize. My apologies. I am so sorry. Sorry. 790 01:02:23,531 --> 01:02:26,230 Makes you feel like you were reborn, right? That'll be 100 Mark. 791 01:02:26,597 --> 01:02:29,364 What? For what? I don't even have anything. 792 01:02:29,430 --> 01:02:32,364 You want cancer instead? Let's see what we can do... 793 01:02:32,364 --> 01:02:34,329 Alright, alright. Here. 794 01:02:35,662 --> 01:02:38,729 Goodbye. And take care of your health. 795 01:02:39,829 --> 01:02:43,795 I can see from the files that all your cases are hopeless. 796 01:02:43,795 --> 01:02:46,362 You will all perish miserably. 797 01:02:46,362 --> 01:02:49,028 This practice will therefore be closing. 798 01:03:01,360 --> 01:03:04,226 They should just euthanize all those old farts, for fuck's sake. 799 01:03:04,226 --> 01:03:06,693 Mr. Brenner does not want to eat his fatsoup. 800 01:03:06,693 --> 01:03:08,925 Well negro-man, makes you wonder, huh? 801 01:03:08,925 --> 01:03:14,525 Back home, they starve to death and here they can't stomach anything because the food made 'em sick. 802 01:03:15,092 --> 01:03:21,124 Here's a solution: Let the old ones cack it, cook some tasty soup from 'em and then we send that to Africa. 803 01:03:21,124 --> 01:03:25,823 You people like that, right? Some crispy colonialist leg with coconut milk... 804 01:03:27,323 --> 01:03:30,490 Weird. You'd have thought negros would enjoy darker humor. 805 01:03:42,988 --> 01:03:46,088 Oh, the whole family? Are we celebrating something? 806 01:03:46,221 --> 01:03:48,154 Grandfather is dying. 807 01:03:48,388 --> 01:03:50,520 Really? Can i have his room? 808 01:03:52,787 --> 01:03:57,187 Before i depart, i have something to confess to you. 809 01:03:57,620 --> 01:04:02,086 Every time i cut my toenails ... 810 01:04:02,919 --> 01:04:05,819 I mixed them into your cereal. 811 01:04:12,818 --> 01:04:13,952 Is he dead now? 812 01:04:14,651 --> 01:04:16,984 Err... i think so, yeah. 813 01:04:19,751 --> 01:04:22,650 Grandfather, you're not dead?! 814 01:04:22,650 --> 01:04:24,350 Nah. 815 01:04:25,250 --> 01:04:28,383 I changed my mind. I don't wanna die. 816 01:04:28,683 --> 01:04:31,549 Oh, great ... 817 01:04:33,749 --> 01:04:38,782 Dear diary. Now is the time to summarize this eventful day. 818 01:04:39,482 --> 01:04:44,514 The school festival is over and i can assert that my artistic actions did not miss their intended effects. 819 01:04:45,681 --> 01:04:48,947 It was one of those nights where anything seemed possible. 820 01:04:49,480 --> 01:04:53,180 The air was hot and moist like a beautiful young woman. 821 01:04:54,213 --> 01:04:56,646 The sky was filled with stars 822 01:04:56,747 --> 01:05:00,512 the moon shined like a guidepost pointing towards a better future. 823 01:05:01,479 --> 01:05:04,279 The room was filled, sold out to the last seat. 824 01:05:04,679 --> 01:05:08,745 Tension crackled in the air. It was time to begin. 825 01:05:08,911 --> 01:05:10,411 'SUP! 826 01:05:11,245 --> 01:05:13,044 That's our son. 827 01:05:13,811 --> 01:05:15,543 Shush! It's not like everyone needs to know. 828 01:05:16,510 --> 01:05:18,377 Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. 829 01:05:18,877 --> 01:05:23,509 I welcome you to this year's school festival in the Adolf Hitler high hchool. 830 01:05:24,576 --> 01:05:27,743 Sorry, the Albert Schweitzer high school... 831 01:05:28,409 --> 01:05:35,141 Unfortunately we had to cancel the musical event, an appearance of me and my band, due to health reasons. 832 01:05:36,942 --> 01:05:40,441 I will therefore arrange the program mostly by myself. 833 01:05:40,807 --> 01:05:43,374 But before we start, i wanted to say thank you. 834 01:05:44,474 --> 01:05:47,773 Firstly to my mother; without whom i wouldn't be standing here 835 01:05:47,773 --> 01:05:54,206 without whom i would be nothing more than one of many millions of semen cells inthe testicles of my father. 836 01:05:54,706 --> 01:05:56,605 Thank you, mother. 837 01:05:57,739 --> 01:06:00,138 I further thank the teachers of this institution 838 01:06:00,138 --> 01:06:03,439 for the torch of wisdom which they passed along to me 839 01:06:03,872 --> 01:06:06,938 and for their patience. Thank you, teachers. 840 01:06:08,838 --> 01:06:12,504 That's our son! / Yeah, our son, that's him! 841 01:06:13,970 --> 01:06:15,903 Haha! Those fools! 842 01:06:16,503 --> 01:06:19,937 The well-fed bourgeoisie felt itself secure 843 01:06:19,970 --> 01:06:23,402 and waited lazily for more entertaining inoffensiveness. 844 01:06:24,169 --> 01:06:26,502 Now i could tighten the thumbscrews. 845 01:06:26,502 --> 01:06:28,702 I changed costumes behind the curtain, 846 01:06:28,736 --> 01:06:31,901 then stepped out into the bright stagelight and said: 847 01:06:32,735 --> 01:06:34,835 All of you... 848 01:06:35,368 --> 01:06:36,901 have fucked. 849 01:06:38,567 --> 01:06:42,767 Calmly, i let this targeted provocation soak into the audience. 850 01:06:43,734 --> 01:06:44,734 Your son, you said? 851 01:06:44,734 --> 01:06:46,667 They did not expact that. 852 01:06:46,667 --> 01:06:50,333 My elk costume only added to the irritation. 853 01:06:53,733 --> 01:06:55,631 Those are his parents! 854 01:06:58,265 --> 01:07:01,565 And then the drugs took effect. 855 01:07:02,865 --> 01:07:09,264 The pleasure-seeking adults spent the whole evening delecting themselves on the free punch bowl, 856 01:07:09,264 --> 01:07:14,863 without ever suspecting that i mixed in a few interesting chemicals. 857 01:07:28,295 --> 01:07:32,127 I knew this evening was developing into something very special 858 01:07:32,127 --> 01:07:38,860 when our religion teacher, Ms. Blackli, requested the entire male faculty to join her in a penis parade. 859 01:08:12,423 --> 01:08:16,356 The victory laurel for the presentation of innovative sexual practice 860 01:08:17,489 --> 01:08:20,522 was without a doubt due to my grandfather. 861 01:08:22,755 --> 01:08:23,755 Yes! 862 01:08:24,988 --> 01:08:27,455 You! Fucking! Pumpkin! 863 01:08:29,721 --> 01:08:31,021 There... all done. 864 01:08:31,620 --> 01:08:33,521 He could even walk again for a short while. 865 01:08:34,120 --> 01:08:36,187 That was the moment i was waiting for. 866 01:08:36,187 --> 01:08:42,553 Naked as god made me, i approached the microphone and proclaimed a new time: 867 01:08:44,486 --> 01:08:46,919 Peace to the huts! 868 01:08:47,685 --> 01:08:50,618 War to the palaces! 869 01:09:49,278 --> 01:09:51,945 Eventually we stormed the cathedral at the market. 870 01:09:52,511 --> 01:09:55,477 As the biggest building in town, i thought it most fitting 871 01:09:55,477 --> 01:09:59,844 to use its roof to unroll our political demands. (FUCKING) 872 01:10:01,843 --> 01:10:04,343 Unfortunately, it was then that the authorities arrived. 873 01:10:42,605 --> 01:10:45,871 Grandfather resisted fiercely until the very end 874 01:10:45,871 --> 01:10:50,604 and as long as the drugs worked, the parents and faculty kept chanting about freedom. 875 01:10:51,171 --> 01:10:55,270 This liberal mindset would change dramatically the next morning. 876 01:10:55,270 --> 01:10:59,237 Suddenly my parents had very little appreciation for my radical viewpoints. 877 01:10:59,237 --> 01:11:03,769 As we stood before the judge, they showed their true bourgeois face. 878 01:11:04,436 --> 01:11:06,236 Is that your son? 879 01:11:06,236 --> 01:11:08,568 Not anymore! 880 01:11:09,635 --> 01:11:14,935 And so ends another eventful day in my rebellious life. 881 01:11:16,135 --> 01:11:17,934 Some things were done. 882 01:11:18,934 --> 01:11:20,767 Much was left unaccomplished. 883 01:11:22,467 --> 01:11:23,467 But ... 884 01:11:24,001 --> 01:11:26,500 Is life not like a mosaic? 885 01:11:28,466 --> 01:11:30,599 Only with the last stone ... 886 01:11:31,000 --> 01:11:34,699 ... is it made into a whole.