1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Who are the real-world Illuminati ? Find out @ saveanilluminati.com 2 00:00:13,546 --> 00:00:13,545 - ¶ I'm goin' down to south park ¶ 3 00:00:13,547 --> 00:00:17,516 ¶ gonna have myself a time 4 00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:19,050 - ¶ friendly faces everywhere 5 00:00:19,052 --> 00:00:20,886 ¶ humble folks without temptation ¶ 6 00:00:20,888 --> 00:00:21,920 - ¶ I'm goin' down to south park ¶ 7 00:00:21,922 --> 00:00:24,089 ¶ gonna leave my woes behind 8 00:00:24,091 --> 00:00:27,793 - ¶ ample parking day or night, people spouting howdy neighbor ¶ 9 00:00:27,795 --> 00:00:30,729 - ¶ headin' on up to south park, gonna see if I can't unwind ¶ 10 00:00:30,731 --> 00:00:34,199 - ¶ [muffled] 11 00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:36,968 - ¶ come on down to south park and meet some friends of mine ¶ 12 00:00:42,542 --> 00:00:44,776 - Students, I would love to introduce you all 13 00:00:44,778 --> 00:00:47,679 To the future, mkay? 14 00:00:47,681 --> 00:00:49,147 Starting today, our school 15 00:00:49,149 --> 00:00:53,485 Will be operating entirely on intellilink. 16 00:00:53,487 --> 00:00:55,520 Now whenever you need to see the school nurse 17 00:00:55,522 --> 00:00:58,190 Or talk to me, your counselor, you can simply sign up 18 00:00:58,192 --> 00:01:00,459 Using this simple integrated portal. 19 00:01:00,461 --> 00:01:01,760 [click] 20 00:01:01,762 --> 00:01:03,428 Mkay. 21 00:01:03,430 --> 00:01:04,429 [click] 22 00:01:04,431 --> 00:01:05,597 [click click] 23 00:01:05,599 --> 00:01:06,832 You can use a commuter 24 00:01:06,834 --> 00:01:08,066 Or any of the intellilink panels 25 00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:10,402 Which are located throughout the school. 26 00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:12,571 Let's say you're in the cafeteria, mkay, 27 00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:15,006 And you start coughing up blood and need to see the nurse. 28 00:01:15,008 --> 00:01:17,442 You just click on school clinic...[click] 29 00:01:17,444 --> 00:01:19,744 Mkay? See nurse... [click] 30 00:01:19,746 --> 00:01:21,847 Mkay? Respiration problems. 31 00:01:21,849 --> 00:01:25,016 [click] - ¶ all night long 32 00:01:25,018 --> 00:01:26,485 - Okay. I must be in the wrong menu, 33 00:01:26,487 --> 00:01:26,485 Mkay? 34 00:01:26,487 --> 00:01:31,022 You can see you can control the sound system as well. 35 00:01:31,024 --> 00:01:33,024 [click] it's all integrated and smartlinked, 36 00:01:33,026 --> 00:01:34,759 And this is a great idea, mkay? 37 00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:37,596 Let's look at the message board. Message board. [click] 38 00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:39,464 Message board. [click] 39 00:01:39,466 --> 00:01:41,533 Here you can easily write messages to each other 40 00:01:41,535 --> 00:01:43,902 Or to the faculty, mkay? For instance, here we go. 41 00:01:43,904 --> 00:01:46,671 Here's a message from kyle's little brother, ike broflovski. 42 00:01:46,673 --> 00:01:50,809 Mkay, little ike says, "my brother is a homo." 43 00:01:50,811 --> 00:01:52,611 - [laughing] 44 00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:54,813 - Ike made a little drawing of his brother too. 45 00:01:54,815 --> 00:01:56,781 Drew a nice picture with a nice bird 46 00:01:56,783 --> 00:01:59,184 Hanging off kyle's forehead. Mkay, that's nice. 47 00:01:59,186 --> 00:02:00,819 - Ha ha ha ha ha! 48 00:02:00,821 --> 00:02:02,587 - That's a nice crane, 49 00:02:02,589 --> 00:02:04,422 Nice whooping crane coming off kyle's head there. 50 00:02:04,424 --> 00:02:05,957 - That's not a crane. It's a dick and balls. 51 00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,626 - [snickering] 52 00:02:10,696 --> 00:02:13,098 - Mom, ike did it again. 53 00:02:13,100 --> 00:02:14,566 I don't know what's going on with him, 54 00:02:14,568 --> 00:02:16,668 But it's like he hates me. 55 00:02:16,670 --> 00:02:19,004 - Oh, kyle, your little brother is getting older. 56 00:02:19,006 --> 00:02:21,106 He's not a baby anymore. 57 00:02:21,108 --> 00:02:22,641 - I know, but he posted a message of me 58 00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:24,075 With a schlong on my head. 59 00:02:24,077 --> 00:02:26,478 - It's natural, bubie. Part of getting older 60 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:28,079 Is finding ways to assert your independence. 61 00:02:28,081 --> 00:02:30,148 You know. Why don't you go 62 00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:31,917 And try to talk to him. You can win him over again. 63 00:02:36,522 --> 00:02:38,924 - Hey, ike. How's it going? 64 00:02:38,926 --> 00:02:43,028 - Get out of my room, kyle. I'm on my computer. 65 00:02:43,030 --> 00:02:44,663 - I just wanted to see 66 00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:46,531 If maybe you wanna do finger paints with me? 67 00:02:46,533 --> 00:02:48,900 - Do I look like I want to do fucking finger paints? 68 00:02:48,902 --> 00:02:50,969 Look at the fucking zits on my face. 69 00:02:52,705 --> 00:02:55,106 - Ike, I just want us to be friends again. 70 00:02:55,108 --> 00:02:57,475 - Then stop harassing me, bro. 71 00:02:57,477 --> 00:02:59,611 You don't know what it's like to be a baby going through puberty. 72 00:02:59,613 --> 00:03:00,912 I don't know whether to watch yo gabba gabba 73 00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:04,049 Or go out and tame some strange! 74 00:03:04,051 --> 00:03:07,619 - Yeah, let's watch yo gabba gabba like old times. 75 00:03:07,621 --> 00:03:09,688 - ¶ I like to dance 76 00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:11,489 - ¶ go, go, do the toodee 77 00:03:11,491 --> 00:03:13,124 ¶ go, go, do the toodee 78 00:03:13,126 --> 00:03:15,460 - ¶ I like to dance! 79 00:03:15,462 --> 00:03:16,995 - ¶ go, go, go, brobee 80 00:03:16,997 --> 00:03:18,897 - Dancey dance is my favorite. 81 00:03:18,899 --> 00:03:21,600 - It always has been. See? This is nice. 82 00:03:21,602 --> 00:03:23,468 - ¶ go, go, do the foofa 83 00:03:23,470 --> 00:03:25,003 ¶ go, go, do the foofa 84 00:03:25,005 --> 00:03:27,072 - ¶ I like to dance 85 00:03:27,074 --> 00:03:29,741 - Who would you rather fuck, foofa or toodee? 86 00:03:29,743 --> 00:03:32,611 - What? - I wanna fuck foofa. 87 00:03:32,613 --> 00:03:34,713 - ¶ go, go, do the foofa 88 00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:36,081 - I wouldn't want to fuck toodee. 89 00:03:36,083 --> 00:03:37,983 She's a dyke. You can tell. 90 00:03:37,985 --> 00:03:40,652 But foofa, man--I bet she's got some sweet strange. 91 00:03:40,654 --> 00:03:42,988 - ¶ go, go, do the plex, go, go ¶ 92 00:03:42,990 --> 00:03:45,657 - [muffled] I don't even know what the fuck muno is. 93 00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:47,058 - Ike, is that chewing tobacco? 94 00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:49,127 - What, you gonna fucking narc and tell mom? 95 00:03:49,129 --> 00:03:50,662 - No, I just don't think it's healthy. 96 00:03:50,664 --> 00:03:52,497 - That's 'cause you don't understand shit! 97 00:03:52,499 --> 00:03:54,165 I knew this was a bad idea! 98 00:03:54,167 --> 00:03:57,102 I'm gonna go watch yo gabba gabba in my roomsies. 99 00:03:58,571 --> 00:04:00,905 [knock at door] - come in, mkay. 100 00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:03,074 - Mr. Mackey, can I talk to you? 101 00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:05,076 - Mkay, have you set up a counseling appointment 102 00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:07,412 On intellilink? - No. 103 00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:09,147 - Okay, that's fine, that's fine. 104 00:04:09,149 --> 00:04:11,416 We can use intellilink to see what's available. 105 00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:12,884 Let's see. Counseling request...[click] 106 00:04:12,886 --> 00:04:15,120 Students... [click] 107 00:04:15,122 --> 00:04:16,588 Make the appointment. 108 00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:18,456 [click] 109 00:04:18,458 --> 00:04:20,091 Mkay. Oh, whoops. 110 00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:22,761 Okay, students... Make...Oh, here we go. 111 00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:24,062 Make appointment. [click] 112 00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:26,998 Mkay, here we go. 113 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,933 Mkay, what do you need counseling with? 114 00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:30,635 - It's my little brother. 115 00:04:30,637 --> 00:04:32,003 He's really changing, and I feel like-- 116 00:04:32,005 --> 00:04:34,005 - Mkay, I'll click on family issues. [click] 117 00:04:34,007 --> 00:04:35,940 What time did you want counseling? 118 00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:38,677 - Right now. - Mkay...[click] 119 00:04:38,679 --> 00:04:41,579 And what's your brother's intelligrated smart name? 120 00:04:41,581 --> 00:04:43,114 - I don't know. 121 00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:44,916 - All right, I can do a look up for the name. 122 00:04:44,918 --> 00:04:46,785 Go back. [click] 123 00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:46,785 Main menu. [click] 124 00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:49,454 [the heat is on plays] oh, damn it! 125 00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:51,122 - ¶ oh oh oh okay, now back...Set-- 126 00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:51,122 - ¶ oh oh oh - no, set appointment. 127 00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:54,459 - ¶ tell me can you feel it - okay. Speakers off. 128 00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:57,195 Mkay, uh...Mkay, what is your smart name, kyle? 129 00:04:57,197 --> 00:04:57,195 - ¶ tell me can you fell it - what? 130 00:04:57,197 --> 00:05:01,066 - Sorry, kyle we're gonna need to go somewhere else. 131 00:05:01,068 --> 00:05:03,968 Let's find an intellilink panel somewhere. 132 00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:07,505 Okay, let's see, lights, mood... 133 00:05:07,507 --> 00:05:09,541 Start counseling timer. Okay, there we go. 134 00:05:09,543 --> 00:05:11,509 Okay, we got it. 135 00:05:11,511 --> 00:05:13,445 Okay, now, kyle, you have some concerns 136 00:05:13,447 --> 00:05:15,847 About your little brother? 137 00:05:15,849 --> 00:05:18,550 - He's just changing a lot. 138 00:05:18,552 --> 00:05:20,919 He walks around angry, telling me I'm stupid, 139 00:05:20,921 --> 00:05:22,854 And all he talks about is sex. 140 00:05:22,856 --> 00:05:24,589 - Well, it sounds like he's hitting puberty. 141 00:05:24,591 --> 00:05:26,491 - Yeah, he just seems so young. 142 00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:28,426 - Well, your brother is canadian. 143 00:05:28,428 --> 00:05:31,463 Perhaps canadian puberty is a little different. 144 00:05:31,465 --> 00:05:33,732 Why don't you educate yourself about canadian puberty, 145 00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:35,100 And it can be something you and your brother 146 00:05:35,102 --> 00:05:36,701 Can actually do together, mkay? 147 00:05:36,703 --> 00:05:39,070 [plop, splash] 148 00:05:39,072 --> 00:05:40,839 This is the first time I've been able to do counseling 149 00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:42,907 And go to the bathroom at the same time. 150 00:05:42,909 --> 00:05:45,043 Intellilink is amazing. 151 00:05:53,886 --> 00:05:55,787 - Hello, young people, 152 00:05:55,789 --> 00:05:57,956 And welcome to the most fascinating time of your life. 153 00:05:57,958 --> 00:05:59,791 You have braved the trials of childhood 154 00:05:59,793 --> 00:06:02,060 And now you are reaching canadian puberty. 155 00:06:02,062 --> 00:06:05,396 By now you've probably noticed some changes in your body. 156 00:06:05,398 --> 00:06:07,966 For instance, when you fart your dick gets hard. 157 00:06:12,538 --> 00:06:14,773 Other physical changes are happening to your body as well. 158 00:06:14,775 --> 00:06:16,908 If you're a boy, you may notice that your testicles ache. 159 00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:18,143 Or if you're a girl, you may notice 160 00:06:18,145 --> 00:06:20,545 A tingling sensation in your strange. 161 00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:23,148 - This stupid, bro. I already know all this. 162 00:06:23,150 --> 00:06:25,717 - Let's just give it a chance, ike. 163 00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:27,418 - Going through canadian puberty, 164 00:06:27,420 --> 00:06:29,654 You may notice that your voice is starting to change as well. 165 00:06:29,656 --> 00:06:31,856 You're saying things like, "hey, buddy," and, "hey, guy," 166 00:06:31,858 --> 00:06:33,725 Because now that you're older, you're discovering 167 00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:35,894 That someone who was once your buddy is now your guy. 168 00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:37,095 And someone who you used to call guy 169 00:06:37,097 --> 00:06:40,465 Is quickly becoming your friend. 170 00:06:40,467 --> 00:06:42,801 But now let's discuss how a man and woman make love. 171 00:06:42,803 --> 00:06:45,170 First, a man and a woman fall in love. 172 00:06:45,172 --> 00:06:47,939 Then the man farts on the woman's strange... 173 00:06:47,941 --> 00:06:49,574 Filling the woman's strange with air 174 00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:51,676 So the woman can queef in the man's face, 175 00:06:51,678 --> 00:06:53,411 And the a is born. 176 00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:55,647 The entire process can take up to six months-- 177 00:06:55,649 --> 00:06:58,149 It's what? 178 00:06:58,151 --> 00:07:00,785 That's not how babes are born? 179 00:07:00,787 --> 00:07:04,055 What's semen? 180 00:07:04,057 --> 00:07:06,791 Then why did my wife queef in my face? 181 00:07:06,793 --> 00:07:08,526 She said it was to-- 182 00:07:08,528 --> 00:07:10,128 Then why would sh-- 183 00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:12,130 I'm going to get to the bottom of this. 184 00:07:12,132 --> 00:07:13,698 Make me look like an idiot, will you? 185 00:07:15,568 --> 00:07:17,035 Hey, you told me you queefed in my face 186 00:07:17,037 --> 00:07:18,736 Because that's how babies are born. 187 00:07:18,738 --> 00:07:20,705 - I was being sarcastic. - Being sarcastic? 188 00:07:20,707 --> 00:07:23,441 - I just told a million canadian teenagers that's how it's done. 189 00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:24,976 - I was angry because you never listen to me 190 00:07:24,978 --> 00:07:26,411 Because I wanted you to go with me to therapy, 191 00:07:26,413 --> 00:07:27,879 And you never go. - Fine! You want to go 192 00:07:27,881 --> 00:07:29,514 With you to therapy? Fine! 193 00:07:29,516 --> 00:07:31,516 Totally. Embarrassing and degrading. 194 00:07:31,518 --> 00:07:32,817 She queefed right in my face. - Maybe you should spend 195 00:07:32,819 --> 00:07:34,586 Less time at work making public health films 196 00:07:34,588 --> 00:07:36,554 And more time at home. 197 00:07:36,556 --> 00:07:38,623 - What the fuck is going on? 198 00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:41,960 - You're fucking stupid, kyle. 199 00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:44,963 [all night long plays] 200 00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:51,703 ¶ 201 00:07:51,705 --> 00:07:51,703 - I don't know what else to do, dude. 202 00:07:51,705 --> 00:07:56,507 No matter what I try, me and ike seem to drift further apart. 203 00:07:56,509 --> 00:07:58,576 - He doesn't ever want to play with you anymore? 204 00:07:58,578 --> 00:08:00,511 [shouting over music] - he doesn't want me near him. 205 00:08:00,513 --> 00:08:01,713 - ¶ oh oh oh - that sucks, dude. 206 00:08:01,715 --> 00:08:03,781 - What? - I said, that sucks dude. 207 00:08:03,783 --> 00:08:05,450 - Oh, thanks. - ¶ we're gonna have a party 208 00:08:05,452 --> 00:08:06,985 [clicking] 209 00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:08,119 - ¶ all ni-- 210 00:08:08,121 --> 00:08:10,054 - Okay, there we go. 211 00:08:10,056 --> 00:08:11,689 That's got the speakers off. 212 00:08:11,691 --> 00:08:13,057 What were you trying to do, kyle? 213 00:08:13,059 --> 00:08:15,526 - I was trying to make an appointment 214 00:08:15,528 --> 00:08:17,495 To see the principal about getting excused on Friday 215 00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:19,631 So I can take my brother to see yo gabba gabba live. 216 00:08:19,633 --> 00:08:22,600 - Mr. Mackey, can he just go talk to the principal? 217 00:08:22,602 --> 00:08:24,969 - No, this is gonna work. I called intellilink, 218 00:08:24,971 --> 00:08:27,005 And they said they were sending over an engineer. 219 00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:29,374 [knock at door] - is this classroom 7? 220 00:08:29,376 --> 00:08:31,376 - Yes. - My name's cody. 221 00:08:31,378 --> 00:08:33,478 I'm your smartnician. You're having some 222 00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:35,847 Intelliproblems with your astute links? 223 00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:37,148 - Yes, a student's trying to make an appointment 224 00:08:37,150 --> 00:08:39,117 To see the principal. 225 00:08:39,119 --> 00:08:40,618 - Uh-huh, well, here's the problem. 226 00:08:40,620 --> 00:08:42,754 Your smart names aren't intelligrated. 227 00:08:42,756 --> 00:08:44,789 - Oh, I see. - If you want to have 228 00:08:44,791 --> 00:08:46,624 Those intelligrated with easylink, 229 00:08:46,626 --> 00:08:49,727 You might want to upgrade your system to the silver package. 230 00:08:49,729 --> 00:08:53,064 - I needed the silver package? Can we do that? 231 00:08:53,066 --> 00:08:57,568 - Let me call my supervisor on the intelliphone. 232 00:08:57,570 --> 00:08:58,569 [making motor sounds] 233 00:08:58,571 --> 00:08:59,871 [tires skidding, crash sounds] 234 00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:02,573 [knock at door] - hey, ike? 235 00:09:02,575 --> 00:09:05,743 - Get out of my room, kyle. I'm playing trucks! 236 00:09:05,745 --> 00:09:08,579 - Ike, I'm sorry, but I couldn't get us out of school Friday. 237 00:09:08,581 --> 00:09:10,014 I can't take you to yo gabba gabblive. 238 00:09:10,016 --> 00:09:12,417 - You promised. 239 00:09:12,419 --> 00:09:14,385 - I couldn't get in to see the principal, ike. 240 00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:16,621 - What am I supposed to do, go see it myself? 241 00:09:16,623 --> 00:09:18,923 I'm a little baby--who's going to hold my fucking hand? 242 00:09:18,925 --> 00:09:20,458 You don't give a shit about how I feel. 243 00:09:20,460 --> 00:09:22,660 - Ike, I do, I-- - you love pushing me around. 244 00:09:22,662 --> 00:09:24,963 Is that what you wanna do, kyle, kick the baby? 245 00:09:24,965 --> 00:09:28,099 I'm ready, bro. Come on, kyle, kick the baby. 246 00:09:28,101 --> 00:09:30,802 Come on, bro, kick the fucking baby. 247 00:09:30,804 --> 00:09:31,869 Let's see you try it, wuss! 248 00:09:37,876 --> 00:09:40,545 - ¶ don't, don't 249 00:09:40,547 --> 00:09:42,947 ¶ don't bite your friends 250 00:09:42,949 --> 00:09:45,683 - Hey, muno, what should we do now? 251 00:09:45,685 --> 00:09:47,485 - Let's play a cool, cool, trick. 252 00:09:47,487 --> 00:09:49,153 - All right! 253 00:09:49,155 --> 00:09:52,123 Who out in the audience has a cool, cool trick to show us? 254 00:09:52,125 --> 00:09:53,891 [audience screaming] 255 00:09:53,893 --> 00:09:55,660 - What's your name, little boy? 256 00:09:55,662 --> 00:09:57,395 - My name is ryan. 257 00:09:57,397 --> 00:10:00,698 - And what is your cool, cool, trick, ryan? 258 00:10:00,700 --> 00:10:03,768 - My cool, cool trick is I can jump in the air. 259 00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:05,737 - Yay! - Oh! 260 00:10:05,739 --> 00:10:07,038 - All right, ryan. 261 00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:09,640 Let's see you jump in the air. 262 00:10:11,543 --> 00:10:13,077 [cheers and applause] - way to go! 263 00:10:13,079 --> 00:10:15,780 And what's your name, little boy? 264 00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:17,081 - Ike broflovski. 265 00:10:17,083 --> 00:10:19,083 - Do you have a cool trick? 266 00:10:19,085 --> 00:10:21,586 - Yes, for my cool, cool trick I'm tame foofa's strange. 267 00:10:21,588 --> 00:10:23,588 - Tame my what 268 00:10:23,590 --> 00:10:26,090 - I can tame foofa's strange, bro. 269 00:10:26,092 --> 00:10:28,593 - Uh...All right. 270 00:10:28,595 --> 00:10:33,531 Let's see our friend ike tame foofa's strange! 271 00:10:33,533 --> 00:10:35,033 - Ike, no, stop! 272 00:10:35,035 --> 00:10:36,868 - Oh, I see, you're actually-- 273 00:10:36,870 --> 00:10:39,137 Wait! Oh, my god, what are you doing? 274 00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:42,006 No, no, no! What are you doing to foofa? No! 275 00:10:42,008 --> 00:10:44,108 Now you listen here, little boy. 276 00:10:44,110 --> 00:10:46,978 It is never okay to take off your clothes 277 00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:49,047 And grind on another person. 278 00:10:49,049 --> 00:10:51,082 - No, that's wrong! - Don't do that! 279 00:10:51,084 --> 00:10:52,216 - We're so sorry. 280 00:10:52,218 --> 00:10:53,618 Please forgive my little brother. 281 00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:54,852 He's going through puberty. 282 00:10:54,854 --> 00:10:56,654 - A little young for that, isn't he? 283 00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:58,723 - That's what I thought. - This is stupid, bro. 284 00:10:58,725 --> 00:11:01,159 Foofa shouldn't be limiting herself to little kids. 285 00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:03,728 She's fucking fine, dude. 286 00:11:03,730 --> 00:11:06,631 - What you did was very traumatic for foofa. 287 00:11:06,633 --> 00:11:08,599 Isn't that right, foofa? 288 00:11:08,601 --> 00:11:11,035 Foofa? - He's right, plex. 289 00:11:11,037 --> 00:11:12,804 We're getting older. 290 00:11:12,806 --> 00:11:15,506 I don't want to do the little kid thing the rest of my life. 291 00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:17,475 - Foofa, what you talking about? 292 00:11:17,477 --> 00:11:20,078 - It's time for us to start playing to older people. 293 00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:22,980 Maybe we need to be edgier, have sex appeal. 294 00:11:22,982 --> 00:11:25,616 - Foofa, no! - I'm an artist. 295 00:11:25,618 --> 00:11:28,453 And if all I ever do is play to kids, then I'll be a joke. 296 00:11:28,455 --> 00:11:29,720 I have to move on. 297 00:11:32,658 --> 00:11:35,993 - Oh, god, what has this little boy done? 298 00:11:38,630 --> 00:11:40,598 - I try not to think about it, rick. 299 00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:42,800 I try to just forget about it and move on, but I can't. 300 00:11:42,802 --> 00:11:45,803 I mean, she queefed right in my face. 301 00:11:45,805 --> 00:11:48,172 - Have you and your wife seen a therapist together? 302 00:11:48,174 --> 00:11:51,075 - Yes, we went, but I can't erase the memory 303 00:11:51,077 --> 00:11:53,111 Of my helpless face being queefed on like that. 304 00:11:53,113 --> 00:11:54,946 Who's to say she won't do it again? 305 00:11:54,948 --> 00:11:56,647 - Don't you think this has something to do 306 00:11:56,649 --> 00:11:58,549 With your new job? - What do you mean? 307 00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:00,051 - There's more to this, terry. 308 00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:01,652 A lady never queefs in her lover's face 309 00:12:01,654 --> 00:12:03,087 Without some major cause. 310 00:12:03,089 --> 00:12:04,856 You started as the canadian minister of health, 311 00:12:04,858 --> 00:12:06,724 And three months later, your wife queefed in your face. 312 00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:08,159 There's a connection. 313 00:12:08,161 --> 00:12:10,561 - I tried to make canada's health care system better. 314 00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:12,763 What could that have to do with your wife? 315 00:12:12,765 --> 00:12:14,799 - Terry, I'm your friend, and I'm not just your friend. 316 00:12:14,801 --> 00:12:16,767 I'm also your buddy. - Thanks, guy. 317 00:12:16,769 --> 00:12:18,569 - And I'm telling you there's more to this 318 00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:20,671 That you think, and if you want to save your marriage 319 00:12:20,673 --> 00:12:24,675 And your face, you need to figure it out quick. 320 00:12:24,677 --> 00:12:27,879 - Mr. Mackey, so far the school has spent 321 00:12:27,881 --> 00:12:32,517 $22,000 on the intellilink system, 322 00:12:32,519 --> 00:12:35,887 And so far it's been an unmitigated disaster. 323 00:12:35,889 --> 00:12:37,021 - Yeah, but, see, the problem is 324 00:12:37,023 --> 00:12:38,956 Not everyone is signed on to it yet. 325 00:12:38,958 --> 00:12:41,859 - They can't sign on, because every time they try 326 00:12:41,861 --> 00:12:43,694 They make sprinklers go off. 327 00:12:43,696 --> 00:12:47,632 - I know that intellilink has had some...Hiccups, okay? 328 00:12:47,634 --> 00:12:50,168 I've hired a new faculty member 329 00:12:50,170 --> 00:12:52,036 Whose sole responsibility 330 00:12:52,038 --> 00:12:54,172 Will be to oversee the intellilink system 331 00:12:54,174 --> 00:12:56,774 And make sure it runs smoothly. 332 00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:59,577 I want you all to meet pat conners. 333 00:12:59,579 --> 00:13:01,879 - Hello, everyone. - Don't hello us, pat! 334 00:13:01,881 --> 00:13:05,082 This system you're responsible for now isn't working out. 335 00:13:05,084 --> 00:13:07,518 So what the hell are you going to do about it? 336 00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:10,388 - Oh, well, I'm just sort of getting acclimated 337 00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:12,557 To the situation, and-- - getting acclimated? 338 00:13:12,559 --> 00:13:14,725 Do you know how much money we wasted on this thing? 339 00:13:14,727 --> 00:13:17,161 How about you take some responsibility? 340 00:13:17,163 --> 00:13:19,964 Get the hell out of here, pat. You're fired, get out. 341 00:13:23,702 --> 00:13:26,971 Well, how the hell we going to clean up pat's mess? 342 00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:30,608 I guess we got no choice, mkay. 343 00:13:30,610 --> 00:13:33,110 We'll have to upgrade to the intellilink gold package. 344 00:13:33,112 --> 00:13:35,780 - Oh, no. - It's a $10,000 upgrade, 345 00:13:35,782 --> 00:13:38,049 But it should clean up all of pat's mistakes. 346 00:13:38,051 --> 00:13:42,019 - Mr. Mackey, let's be clear. Intellilink was your idea. 347 00:13:42,021 --> 00:13:43,988 You should just admit it was a bad one 348 00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:45,756 And stop being so defensive. 349 00:13:45,758 --> 00:13:47,892 - Well, it's good to be a little defensive 350 00:13:47,894 --> 00:13:49,660 Around you, miles, mkay? 351 00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:52,897 Let's not forget your wife died of an "accident" 352 00:13:52,899 --> 00:13:56,000 While you were "drinking" on a hike. 353 00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:57,935 "mkay"? 354 00:13:57,937 --> 00:14:00,638 - Hey, now listen -- - no, you listen to me! 355 00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:02,440 Intellilink is a great idea, 356 00:14:02,442 --> 00:14:04,875 And we just need the goddamn gold package. 357 00:14:04,877 --> 00:14:06,377 We're doubling down. 358 00:14:06,379 --> 00:14:08,045 - You're watching e entertainment news. 359 00:14:08,047 --> 00:14:09,647 God knows why. 360 00:14:09,649 --> 00:14:12,650 She's all grown up, and she wants you to know it. 361 00:14:12,652 --> 00:14:15,119 From kid show star to sex symbol, 362 00:14:15,121 --> 00:14:18,456 Yo gabba gabba's foofa is ready to rock. 363 00:14:18,458 --> 00:14:21,459 She's been seen out partying, photographed smoking pot, 364 00:14:21,461 --> 00:14:23,995 And now foofa has announced a raunchy performance 365 00:14:23,997 --> 00:14:26,664 On the mtv video music awards. 366 00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:29,033 Foofa's new manager claims the mtv performance 367 00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:31,135 Will be one for the record books. 368 00:14:31,137 --> 00:14:33,137 - Foofa's got that nice shaved strange 369 00:14:33,139 --> 00:14:35,606 That you just want to get in and tame the second you see it. 370 00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:38,109 - The video awards are at 8:00 p.M. Tomorrow. 371 00:14:38,111 --> 00:14:40,544 - Oh, this is exciting. 372 00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:41,846 - Told you it'd go over well. 373 00:14:44,716 --> 00:14:46,717 - Excuse me, but ike has homework 374 00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:48,119 He's supposed to be doing. 375 00:14:48,121 --> 00:14:50,554 - Shut up, kyle. Just ignore my little brother. 376 00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:52,823 - I'm your big brother, ike! [doorbell rings] 377 00:14:52,825 --> 00:14:53,958 - Answer the door, twerp! 378 00:14:58,497 --> 00:14:59,997 - Can I talk to you? 379 00:14:59,999 --> 00:15:01,399 - I'm sorry but right now-- 380 00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:03,100 - Foofa! 381 00:15:03,102 --> 00:15:04,935 - Hey! 382 00:15:04,937 --> 00:15:06,737 - Foofa, what is this about you going on 383 00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:08,539 The mtv video awards? 384 00:15:08,541 --> 00:15:10,841 - I'm done being a kiddy star. 385 00:15:10,843 --> 00:15:13,711 - Foofa, you don't have to show your strange 386 00:15:13,713 --> 00:15:15,513 To get attention. 387 00:15:15,515 --> 00:15:17,515 - You don't get it because you're a robot, plex. 388 00:15:17,517 --> 00:15:19,784 - All right. You won't listen to us, 389 00:15:19,786 --> 00:15:22,386 But maybe you'll listen to our special guest, 390 00:15:22,388 --> 00:15:24,155 Sinead o'connor! 391 00:15:24,157 --> 00:15:26,390 - Yay. - Rah rah! 392 00:15:26,392 --> 00:15:28,993 - Don't do it, foofa. Don't sell out your strange 393 00:15:28,995 --> 00:15:30,795 To the corporate bastards. 394 00:15:30,797 --> 00:15:32,797 - Screw off, sinead o'connor. 395 00:15:32,799 --> 00:15:34,098 No one gives a crap about you. 396 00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:36,534 - ¶ don't show your strange on tv ¶ 397 00:15:36,536 --> 00:15:38,169 - ¶ don't show your strange 398 00:15:38,171 --> 00:15:39,970 - ¶ your strange is for your husband ¶ 399 00:15:39,972 --> 00:15:42,106 ¶ not for the world to see 400 00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:44,108 - ¶ don't show your strange on tv ¶ 401 00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:45,943 - I'm looking for a boyfriend. 402 00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:47,712 Looking for a boyfriend. 403 00:15:47,714 --> 00:15:49,480 - Will you get out of my living room, please? 404 00:15:49,482 --> 00:15:50,715 [phone rings] 405 00:15:50,717 --> 00:15:52,616 - Hello. 406 00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:54,819 - Have you ever had someone you love queef in your face? 407 00:15:54,821 --> 00:15:56,921 - What? - I'm sorry. 408 00:15:56,923 --> 00:15:58,756 I'm calling everyone in the canadian health care system 409 00:15:58,758 --> 00:16:00,758 To find out if they're pleased with their health care. 410 00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:03,427 Is this ike broflovski? - No, this is his brother. 411 00:16:03,429 --> 00:16:05,463 - Your brother receives his medication from us, 412 00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:07,631 And we just want to be sure he's satisfied with the service. 413 00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:11,736 - Satisfied with-- wait a minute--what medication? 414 00:16:17,576 --> 00:16:19,744 - Before this meeting continues, 415 00:16:19,746 --> 00:16:22,079 I should have you be aware that my face has tested positive 416 00:16:22,081 --> 00:16:25,483 For queefy sauce. 417 00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:25,483 - I'm sorry, but I don't really care. 418 00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:28,753 I just want to know what medication 419 00:16:28,755 --> 00:16:30,955 My little brother has been getting you from and why? 420 00:16:30,957 --> 00:16:33,090 - People all over the world get their medication from canada. 421 00:16:33,092 --> 00:16:34,859 - Yeah, but something's wrong with my brother, 422 00:16:34,861 --> 00:16:36,160 And it may be your fault. 423 00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:36,160 - That's impossible. 424 00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:39,096 The canadian health care system is completely integrated 425 00:16:39,098 --> 00:16:41,665 And streamlined intellilink. 426 00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:43,968 - You use intellilink? Oh, my god! 427 00:16:43,970 --> 00:16:45,770 Will you check his records, please? 428 00:16:45,772 --> 00:16:47,605 - Sure, no problem. 429 00:16:47,607 --> 00:16:49,907 Now, what's your brother's canadian medicare smart name? 430 00:16:49,909 --> 00:16:51,575 - I don't know. 431 00:16:51,577 --> 00:16:53,411 Try strange tamer. 432 00:16:53,413 --> 00:16:57,748 [keys clicking] strange...Tamer. 433 00:16:57,750 --> 00:16:59,417 [click] ah, yep, there it is. 434 00:16:59,419 --> 00:17:01,018 Ah, yes, here we go. 435 00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:03,354 I see your little brother has a constipation problem 436 00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:06,390 And has been taking a daily laxative since last may. 437 00:17:06,392 --> 00:17:08,426 Ah, yes, I'm afraid intellilink mixed that up, 438 00:17:08,428 --> 00:17:08,426 And your brother's been receiving 439 00:17:08,428 --> 00:17:11,529 Large doses of hormones that were supposed to go 440 00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:11,529 To an athlete in the northeast. 441 00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:14,832 - Are you saying that ike has been given regular doses 442 00:17:14,834 --> 00:17:17,067 Of hormones because of an intellilink screw up? 443 00:17:17,069 --> 00:17:19,036 - Yes, that's right. - That system 444 00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:21,672 Is totally screwed up and does nothing but wreak havoc! 445 00:17:21,674 --> 00:17:24,141 - It's fine! It works fine! Just give it time! 446 00:17:24,143 --> 00:17:25,776 God, you sound like my wife. 447 00:17:25,778 --> 00:17:28,646 My...Wife. 448 00:17:28,648 --> 00:17:31,515 - That must be it. Don't you see, terry, 449 00:17:31,517 --> 00:17:32,817 That health care integration system 450 00:17:32,819 --> 00:17:34,518 Has made you defensive and hostile, 451 00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:36,053 And your wife's been putting up with it. 452 00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:39,990 - And...That's why she queefed in my face. 453 00:17:39,992 --> 00:17:41,892 - Excuse me! If my little brother 454 00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:43,861 Has been getting some athlete's hormones, 455 00:17:43,863 --> 00:17:46,797 Then who has been getting ike's medication? 456 00:17:46,799 --> 00:17:49,867 - Tom brady looking sluggish again today. 457 00:17:49,869 --> 00:17:51,836 Not sure what his problem has been lately. 458 00:17:51,838 --> 00:17:53,904 - Yeah, definitely not looking as strong and virile 459 00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:55,739 As he has in the past. 460 00:17:55,741 --> 00:18:00,978 - [farts] hut, hut, hut, hut, hut hut... 461 00:18:00,980 --> 00:18:04,114 Aah...Hike! 462 00:18:04,116 --> 00:18:05,783 - Brady steps back to pass. 463 00:18:05,785 --> 00:18:07,885 He's got an open man at the 40 yard line. 464 00:18:07,887 --> 00:18:09,753 - Whatever is wrong with tom brady 465 00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:11,856 Just seems to be getting worse. 466 00:18:11,858 --> 00:18:13,491 Go, broncos. 467 00:18:13,493 --> 00:18:16,727 - ¶ oh oh oh oh oh oh ¶ 468 00:18:16,729 --> 00:18:19,797 ¶ caught up in the action, I've been looking out for you ¶ 469 00:18:19,799 --> 00:18:21,499 ¶ oh-- [music stops] - okay. 470 00:18:21,501 --> 00:18:22,700 There we go. 471 00:18:22,702 --> 00:18:24,368 Your students can buy school lunches now, 472 00:18:24,370 --> 00:18:26,003 But they won't be able to get grades. 473 00:18:26,005 --> 00:18:28,672 - They have to be able to get grades. 474 00:18:28,674 --> 00:18:30,474 - Well, what you probably want to do 475 00:18:30,476 --> 00:18:32,476 Is upgrade to intellilink platinum. 476 00:18:32,478 --> 00:18:34,678 - No! There's no more upgrade, mkay? 477 00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:36,780 I just want this to work. 478 00:18:36,782 --> 00:18:39,149 - What exactly do you mean by work? 479 00:18:39,151 --> 00:18:41,085 - I just want students to be able to make appointments 480 00:18:41,087 --> 00:18:42,486 To see the counselor, 481 00:18:42,488 --> 00:18:44,021 Be able to see the school nurse 482 00:18:44,023 --> 00:18:47,024 In the easiest, most streamlined fashion! 483 00:18:47,026 --> 00:18:49,126 - Oh, you want the centurion package. 484 00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:51,428 That's where we take all the intellilink panels 485 00:18:51,430 --> 00:18:53,831 And rip them off the walls and burn them. 486 00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:56,500 Then we wipe all the computers of intellilink software, 487 00:18:56,502 --> 00:18:58,402 And you never deal with us again. 488 00:19:00,005 --> 00:19:01,539 - All right. 489 00:19:01,541 --> 00:19:02,940 Upgrade me to the centurion package 490 00:19:02,942 --> 00:19:04,041 - Right away. 491 00:19:11,449 --> 00:19:13,551 All right, sir, here a clipboard you can use 492 00:19:13,553 --> 00:19:14,852 For students to sign up for counseling, 493 00:19:14,854 --> 00:19:17,388 And I want to thank you for using intellilink. 494 00:19:22,961 --> 00:19:25,496 - The mtv video music awards will be back 495 00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:27,998 With a performance from yo gabba gabba's foofa 496 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:31,101 Singing pound my sweet strange. 497 00:19:31,103 --> 00:19:33,804 - Two minutes, foofa. 498 00:19:33,806 --> 00:19:35,906 - Thanks. Oh, my, here we go. 499 00:19:35,908 --> 00:19:38,142 - Ike, wait. 500 00:19:38,144 --> 00:19:39,977 - Get out of here, dude. 501 00:19:39,979 --> 00:19:42,413 - There's been a mistake. You don't understand. 502 00:19:42,415 --> 00:19:44,381 - No, you don't understand, wuss. 503 00:19:44,383 --> 00:19:45,883 Why can't you just let me grow up? 504 00:19:45,885 --> 00:19:47,918 Why do you keep harassing me? 505 00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:50,754 - Because you're my little brother, goddamn it, 506 00:19:50,756 --> 00:19:53,557 And even when I'm 50 and you're 45, 507 00:19:53,559 --> 00:19:55,759 You're still gonna be my little brother. 508 00:19:55,761 --> 00:19:58,095 - All right, y'all, here comes our next big act. 509 00:19:58,097 --> 00:20:00,598 - Ike, I don't care if you want to grow up. 510 00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:02,900 I just want to be by your side while you do it. 511 00:20:02,902 --> 00:20:05,603 - Give it up for the sexiest bitch on earth. 512 00:20:05,605 --> 00:20:07,605 It's foofa! [cheers and applause] 513 00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:09,440 - Come on, ike. 514 00:20:09,442 --> 00:20:10,908 Ike? 515 00:20:10,910 --> 00:20:12,676 - He's right, foof. Part of growing up 516 00:20:12,678 --> 00:20:14,478 Is rebelling, but I'm gonna get older 517 00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:17,047 Whether I like it or not. So why push it? 518 00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:20,484 I think I'm gonna let it happen naturally. 519 00:20:20,486 --> 00:20:22,987 - Yay! - Yay! 520 00:20:22,989 --> 00:20:24,488 - Foofa? 521 00:20:32,097 --> 00:20:33,597 - ¶ come on, come on 522 00:20:33,599 --> 00:20:35,099 ¶ pound my strange 523 00:20:35,101 --> 00:20:37,468 ¶ pound it like this, pound it like that ¶ 524 00:20:41,806 --> 00:20:43,874 - It was a mistake. 525 00:20:43,876 --> 00:20:45,909 - What? 526 00:20:45,911 --> 00:20:47,645 - Trying to reform canada's health care system 527 00:20:47,647 --> 00:20:49,880 And being too stubborn to admit it wasn't working... 528 00:20:49,882 --> 00:20:51,682 Even when my wife said the system was too complicated. 529 00:20:51,684 --> 00:20:53,217 I wouldn't listen! 530 00:20:53,219 --> 00:20:56,186 - Oh, terry, I was trying to get your attention. 531 00:20:56,188 --> 00:20:57,955 I'm sorry I queefed in your face. 532 00:20:57,957 --> 00:20:59,757 - I deserved it. 533 00:20:59,759 --> 00:20:59,757 Anyone who thinks streamlining health care 534 00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:03,394 Into an integrated computer system would go smoothly 535 00:21:03,396 --> 00:21:05,929 Deserves a giant queef in their face. 536 00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:07,831 Thank you, my lady. 537 00:21:07,833 --> 00:21:09,933 - So intellilink is gone, my lord? 538 00:21:09,935 --> 00:21:12,403 - Yes, I've upgraded to the gold package. 539 00:21:12,405 --> 00:21:14,171 Within no time, canadians everywhere 540 00:21:14,173 --> 00:21:15,639 Will be getting their correct medications 541 00:21:15,641 --> 00:21:17,841 And going back to normal. 542 00:21:17,843 --> 00:21:21,545 [baby laughing] 543 00:21:28,053 --> 00:21:30,487 - Ike? - Kyle. 544 00:21:30,489 --> 00:21:33,657 It's dora the explorer! 545 00:21:33,659 --> 00:21:34,958 - Come on, let's climb the mountain. 546 00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:36,927 - It sure is! You want me 547 00:21:36,929 --> 00:21:37,995 To watch it with you, ike? 548 00:21:37,997 --> 00:21:39,830 - Yay. 549 00:21:39,832 --> 00:21:41,665 - We made it to the top. 550 00:21:41,667 --> 00:21:44,034 - Oh, man, I wouldn't mind hitting that. 551 00:21:44,036 --> 00:21:47,638 I bet she's got that hot puerto rican strange. 552 00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:49,907 - Yeah, I bet she does. 553 00:21:49,909 --> 00:21:50,908 - Yay! 554 00:21:54,713 --> 00:21:56,080 - Ike made a drawing of his brother too. 555 00:21:56,082 --> 00:21:57,748 Drew a nice picture with a nice bird 556 00:21:57,750 --> 00:22:00,784 Hanging off kyle's forehead. 557 00:22:00,786 --> 00:22:00,784 Okay, that's nice. - [laughing] 558 00:22:00,786 --> 00:22:03,487 - A nice crane, nice whooping crane 559 00:22:03,489 --> 00:22:04,988 Coming off kyle's head there. 560 00:22:04,990 --> 00:22:06,690 - That's not a crane. It's a dick and balls. 561 00:22:06,692 --> 00:22:07,958 - [snickering] 562 00:22:08,305 --> 00:23:08,516 Who are the real-world Illuminati ? Find out @ saveanilluminati.com