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00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:10,302
I'm goin'
down to South Park
2
00:00:10,502 --> 00:00:11,970
Gonna have myself a time
3
00:00:12,170 --> 00:00:13,439
- Friendly faces everywhere
4
00:00:13,639 --> 00:00:15,207
Humble folks
without temptation
5
00:00:15,407 --> 00:00:17,113
I'm goin'
down to South Park
6
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Gonna leave my woes behind
7
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- Ample parking day or night
8
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People spouting,
"Howdy neighbor"
9
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Headin' on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind
10
00:00:28,821 --> 00:00:32,074
Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine
11
00:00:36,412 --> 00:00:39,331
Students, I would love
to introduce you all
12
00:00:39,531 --> 00:00:41,133
to the future, mkay?
13
00:00:41,333 --> 00:00:43,219
Starting today, our school
14
00:00:43,419 --> 00:00:46,301
will be operating entirely
on Intellilink.
15
00:00:46,501 --> 00:00:49,183
Now, whenever you need to see
the school nurse
16
00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:52,470
or talk to me, your counselor,
you can simply sign up
17
00:00:52,670 --> 00:00:54,555
using this simple
integrated portal.
18
00:00:56,098 --> 00:00:57,516
Mkay.
19
00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:02,396
You can use a computer
or any of the Intellilink panels
20
00:01:02,596 --> 00:01:04,460
which are located
throughout the school.
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00:01:04,660 --> 00:01:06,325
Let's say you're
in the cafeteria, mkay?
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00:01:06,525 --> 00:01:09,153
And you start coughing up blood
and need to see the nurse.
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You just click
on "school clinic."
24
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Mkay?
"See nurse."
25
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Mkay?
"Respiration problems."
26
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- J"All night long
27
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Okay, I must be
in the wrong menu, mkay?
28
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You can see you can control
the sound system as well, mkay?
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It's all integrated
and smartlinked,
30
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and this is a great idea, mkay?
31
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Let's look at the message board.
"Message board."
32
00:01:31,917 --> 00:01:33,185
"Message board."
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00:01:33,385 --> 00:01:35,558
Here you can easily write
messages to each other
34
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or to the faculty, mkay?
For instance, here we go.
35
00:01:37,932 --> 00:01:40,726
Here's a message from Kyle's
little brother, Ike Broflovski.
36
00:01:40,926 --> 00:01:45,064
Mkay, little Ike says,
"My brother is a homo."
37
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Ike made a little drawing
of his brother too.
38
00:01:49,059 --> 00:01:50,840
Drew a nice picture
with a nice bird
39
00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:52,822
hanging off
Kyle's forehead, mkay?
40
00:01:53,022 --> 00:01:54,916
That's nice.
41
00:01:55,116 --> 00:01:56,000
- That's a nice crane,
42
00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:58,369
nice whooping crane coming off
Kyle's head there.
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00:01:58,569 --> 00:02:00,287
That's not a crane.
It's a dick and balls.
44
00:02:04,834 --> 00:02:07,053
- Mom, Ike did it again.
45
00:02:07,253 --> 00:02:08,712
I don't know
what's going on with him,
46
00:02:08,912 --> 00:02:10,222
but it's like he hates me.
47
00:02:10,422 --> 00:02:13,342
Oh, Kyle, your little brother
is getting older.
48
00:02:13,542 --> 00:02:14,644
He's not a baby anymore.
49
00:02:14,844 --> 00:02:16,595
I know, but he posted
a message of me
50
00:02:16,795 --> 00:02:17,992
with a schlong on my head.
51
00:02:18,192 --> 00:02:19,212
- It's natural, bubie.
52
00:02:19,412 --> 00:02:20,232
Part of getting older
53
00:02:20,432 --> 00:02:23,435
is finding ways to assert
your independence, you know.
54
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Why don't you go
and try to talk to him?
55
00:02:25,262 --> 00:02:27,064
You can win him over again.
56
00:02:30,860 --> 00:02:32,912
Hey, Ike.
How's it going?
57
00:02:33,112 --> 00:02:37,324
Get out of my room, Kyle.
I'm on my computer.
58
00:02:37,524 --> 00:02:38,459
- I just wanted to see
59
00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:40,169
if maybe you want to do
finger paints with me?
60
00:02:40,369 --> 00:02:42,955
Do I look like I want to do
fucking finger paints?
61
00:02:43,155 --> 00:02:45,374
Look at the fucking zits
on my face.
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00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:49,044
Ike, I just want us to be
friends again.
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00:02:49,244 --> 00:02:51,013
- Then stop harassing me, bro.
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00:02:51,213 --> 00:02:53,549
You don't know what it's like to
be a baby going through puberty.
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00:02:53,749 --> 00:02:55,134
I don't know whether to watch
Yo Gabba Gabba!
66
00:02:55,334 --> 00:02:57,853
or go out
and tame some strange!
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00:02:58,053 --> 00:03:01,765
Yeah, let's watch
Yo Gabba Gabba! like old times.
68
00:03:01,965 --> 00:03:03,684
- Come on, let's dance
69
00:03:03,884 --> 00:03:05,581
- Go, go, go, Toodee
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00:03:05,781 --> 00:03:07,279
Go, go, go, Toodee
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00:03:07,479 --> 00:03:09,607
- Come on, let's dance!
72
00:03:09,807 --> 00:03:11,117
- Brobee, go, go
73
00:03:11,317 --> 00:03:12,785
- Dancey dance is my favorite.
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00:03:12,985 --> 00:03:15,779
It always has been.
See? This is nice.
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00:03:15,979 --> 00:03:17,573
- Go, go, go, Foofa
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00:03:17,773 --> 00:03:19,083
Come on, Foofa
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00:03:19,283 --> 00:03:21,168
- Come on, let's dance
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00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:24,121
Who would you rather fuck,
Foofa or Toodee?
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00:03:24,321 --> 00:03:26,507
- What?
- I want to fuck Foofa.
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00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:28,834
- J' Come on J'
- J' Come on, let's dance
81
00:03:29,034 --> 00:03:30,460
I wouldn't want
to fuck Toodee.
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00:03:30,660 --> 00:03:31,887
She's a dyke.
You can tell.
83
00:03:32,087 --> 00:03:34,673
But Foofa, man-I bet
she's got some sweet strange.
84
00:03:34,873 --> 00:03:36,809
Go, go, do the Plex,
go, go
85
00:03:37,009 --> 00:03:39,678
I don't even know
what the fuck Muno is.
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00:03:39,878 --> 00:03:40,980
- Ike, is that chewing tobacco?
87
00:03:41,180 --> 00:03:42,915
What, you gonna fucking narc
and tell Mom?
88
00:03:43,115 --> 00:03:44,650
No, I just don't think
it's healthy.
89
00:03:44,850 --> 00:03:46,560
That's 'cause you don't
understand shit!
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00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:48,112
I knew this was a bad idea!
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00:03:48,312 --> 00:03:51,523
I'm gonna go watch
Yo Gabba Gabba! in my roomsies.
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00:03:52,608 --> 00:03:54,827
Come in, mkay.
93
00:03:55,027 --> 00:03:57,163
- Mr. Mackey, can I talk to you?
94
00:03:57,363 --> 00:03:59,365
Mkay, have you set up
a counseling appointment
95
00:03:59,565 --> 00:04:01,292
on Intellilink?
- No.
96
00:04:01,492 --> 00:04:03,002
Okay, that's fine.
That's fine.
97
00:04:03,202 --> 00:04:05,287
We can use Intellilink
to see what's available.
98
00:04:05,487 --> 00:04:07,748
Let's see.
"Counseling request."
99
00:04:07,948 --> 00:04:09,175
"Students."
100
00:04:09,375 --> 00:04:10,834
"Make appointment."
101
00:04:12,544 --> 00:04:14,013
Mkay.
Oh, whoops.
102
00:04:14,213 --> 00:04:15,973
Okay, "students."
"Make..
103
00:04:16,173 --> 00:04:18,384
Oh, here we go.
"Make appointment."
104
00:04:18,584 --> 00:04:20,895
Mkay, here we go.
105
00:04:21,095 --> 00:04:23,055
Mkay, what do you need
counseling with?
106
00:04:23,255 --> 00:04:24,356
- It's my little brother.
107
00:04:24,556 --> 00:04:26,333
He's really changing,
and I feel like-
108
00:04:26,533 --> 00:04:28,197
Mkay, I'll click
on "family issues."
109
00:04:28,397 --> 00:04:30,062
What time did you want
counseling?
110
00:04:30,262 --> 00:04:32,364
- Right now.
- Mkay.
111
00:04:32,564 --> 00:04:35,609
And what is your brother's
Intelligrated smart name?
112
00:04:35,809 --> 00:04:36,786
- I don't know.
113
00:04:36,986 --> 00:04:39,154
All right, I can do
a lookup for the name.
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00:04:39,354 --> 00:04:40,551
"Go back."
115
00:04:40,751 --> 00:04:41,749
"Main menu."
116
00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:43,292
Oh, damn it!
117
00:04:43,492 --> 00:04:45,123
- Oh, oh, oh
- Okay, now back. "Set"-
118
00:04:45,323 --> 00:04:46,754
- Oh, oh, oh
- No, "set appointment."
119
00:04:46,954 --> 00:04:49,002
- Tell me can you feel it
- Okay. "Speakers off."
120
00:04:49,202 --> 00:04:51,250
Mkay, uh...mkay, what is
your smart name, Kyle?
121
00:04:51,450 --> 00:04:52,760
- Tell me can you feel it
- What?
122
00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:55,379
Sorry, Kyle, we're gonna need
to maybe go somewhere else.
123
00:04:55,579 --> 00:04:58,299
Let's find an Intellilink panel
somewhere.
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00:04:58,499 --> 00:05:01,385
Okay, let's see,
"lights," "mood,"
125
00:05:01,585 --> 00:05:02,803
"start counseling timer."
126
00:05:03,003 --> 00:05:04,200
Okay, there we go.
127
00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:05,397
Okay, we got it.
128
00:05:05,597 --> 00:05:07,558
Okay, now, Kyle,
you have some concerns
129
00:05:07,758 --> 00:05:10,144
about your little brother?
130
00:05:10,344 --> 00:05:12,530
- He's just changing a lot.
131
00:05:12,730 --> 00:05:15,107
He walks around angry,
telling me I'm stupid,
132
00:05:15,307 --> 00:05:16,826
and all he talks about is sex.
133
00:05:17,026 --> 00:05:18,694
Well, it sounds like
he's hitting puberty.
134
00:05:18,894 --> 00:05:20,550
- Yeah, he just seems so young.
135
00:05:20,750 --> 00:05:22,206
Well, your brother
is Canadian.
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00:05:22,406 --> 00:05:24,834
Perhaps Canadian puberty
is a little different.
137
00:05:25,034 --> 00:05:27,619
Why don't you educate yourself
about Canadian puberty,
138
00:05:27,819 --> 00:05:29,288
and it can be something you
and your brother
139
00:05:29,488 --> 00:05:30,998
can actually do together, mkay?
140
00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:34,960
You know, this is the first time
I've been able to do counseling
141
00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:37,212
and go to the bathroom
at the same time.
142
00:05:37,412 --> 00:05:39,298
Intellilink is amazing.
143
00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:47,074
-== [ www.OpenSubtitles.org ] ==-
144
00:05:48,223 --> 00:05:49,233
- Hello, young people.
145
00:05:49,433 --> 00:05:52,061
And welcome to the most
fascinating time of your life.
146
00:05:52,261 --> 00:05:54,167
You have braved
the trials of childhood,
147
00:05:54,367 --> 00:05:56,073
and now you are reaching
Canadian puberty.
148
00:05:56,273 --> 00:05:58,859
By now, you've probably noticed
some changes in your body.
149
00:05:59,059 --> 00:06:02,321
For instance, when you fart,
your dick gets hard.
150
00:06:06,283 --> 00:06:08,581
Other physical changes are
happening to your body as well.
151
00:06:08,781 --> 00:06:11,080
If you're a boy, you may notice
that your testicles ache.
152
00:06:11,280 --> 00:06:12,894
Or if you're a girl,
you may notice
153
00:06:13,094 --> 00:06:14,508
a tingling sensation
in your strange.
154
00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:17,544
This is stupid, bro.
I already know all this.
155
00:06:17,744 --> 00:06:19,421
Let's just give it
a chance, Ike.
156
00:06:19,621 --> 00:06:21,098
Going through
Canadian puberty,
157
00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:23,575
you may notice that your voice
is starting to change as well.
158
00:06:23,775 --> 00:06:26,053
You're saying things like,
"Hey, buddy," and, "Hey, guy,"
159
00:06:26,253 --> 00:06:28,180
because now that you're older,
you're discovering
160
00:06:28,380 --> 00:06:30,307
that someone who was once
your buddy is now your guy.
161
00:06:30,507 --> 00:06:31,683
And someone who
you used to call "guy"
162
00:06:31,883 --> 00:06:33,394
is quickly becoming
your friend.
163
00:06:34,395 --> 00:06:36,855
But now let's discuss how a man
and woman make love.
164
00:06:37,055 --> 00:06:39,033
First, a man and a woman
fall in love.
165
00:06:39,233 --> 00:06:41,985
Then the man farts
on the woman's strange...
166
00:06:42,185 --> 00:06:43,287
filling the woman's strange
with air
167
00:06:43,487 --> 00:06:45,697
so that the woman can queef
in the man's face,
168
00:06:45,897 --> 00:06:47,291
and a baby is born.
169
00:06:47,491 --> 00:06:50,494
The entire process can take up
to six months-
170
00:06:50,694 --> 00:06:52,171
It's what?
171
00:06:52,371 --> 00:06:55,082
That's not how babies are born?
172
00:06:55,282 --> 00:06:57,126
What's semen?
173
00:06:58,168 --> 00:07:01,088
Then why did my wife queef
in my face?
174
00:07:01,288 --> 00:07:02,756
She said it was to-
175
00:07:02,956 --> 00:07:04,225
Then why would sh-
176
00:07:04,425 --> 00:07:06,764
I'm going to get
to the bottom of this.
177
00:07:06,964 --> 00:07:09,056
Make me look like an idiot,
will you?
178
00:07:09,256 --> 00:07:10,953
Hey, you told me you
queefed in my face
179
00:07:11,153 --> 00:07:12,650
because that's how
babies are born.
180
00:07:12,850 --> 00:07:14,652
- I was being sarcastic.
- Being sarcastic?
181
00:07:14,852 --> 00:07:17,354
I just told a million Canadian
teenagers that's how it's done.
182
00:07:17,554 --> 00:07:18,697
I was angry because
you never listen to me
183
00:07:18,897 --> 00:07:21,233
because I wanted you to go with
me to therapy and you never go.
184
00:07:21,433 --> 00:07:23,652
Fine! You want to go
with you to therapy? Fine!
185
00:07:23,852 --> 00:07:24,945
Totally embarrassing
and degrading.
186
00:07:25,145 --> 00:07:25,788
She queefed right in my face.
187
00:07:25,988 --> 00:07:27,848
Well, maybe you should spend
less time at work
188
00:07:28,048 --> 00:07:29,908
making public-health films
and more time at home.
189
00:07:30,108 --> 00:07:32,431
- What the fuck is going on?
190
00:07:32,631 --> 00:07:34,955
- You're fucking stupid, Kyle.
191
00:07:41,295 --> 00:07:45,516
J"J"
192
00:07:45,716 --> 00:07:47,117
I don't know
what else to do, dude!
193
00:07:47,317 --> 00:07:48,773
No matter what I try,
me and Ike
194
00:07:48,973 --> 00:07:50,229
just seem to drift
further apart!
195
00:07:50,429 --> 00:07:52,389
He doesn't ever want
to play with you anymore?
196
00:07:52,589 --> 00:07:54,078
He doesn't even want me
near him!
197
00:07:54,278 --> 00:07:55,567
- Oh, oh, oh
- That sucks, dude!
198
00:07:55,767 --> 00:07:57,586
- What?
- I said, "That sucks, dude!"
199
00:07:57,786 --> 00:07:59,605
- Oh, thanks.
- We're gonna have a party
200
00:08:01,231 --> 00:08:02,199
- All ni-
201
00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:04,118
- Okay, there we go.
202
00:08:04,318 --> 00:08:05,536
That's got the speakers off.
203
00:08:05,736 --> 00:08:07,471
Now, what was it
you trying to do, Kyle?
204
00:08:07,671 --> 00:08:09,206
I was trying to make
an appointment
205
00:08:09,406 --> 00:08:11,375
to see the principal
about getting excused on Friday
206
00:08:11,575 --> 00:08:14,061
so I can take my brother
to see Yo Gabba Gabba! Live!
207
00:08:14,261 --> 00:08:16,747
Mr. Mackey, can he just
go talk to the principal?
208
00:08:16,947 --> 00:08:17,935
- No, this is gonna work.
209
00:08:18,135 --> 00:08:18,924
I called Intellilink,
210
00:08:19,124 --> 00:08:21,335
and they said they were sending
over an engineer.
211
00:08:21,535 --> 00:08:23,304
Is this classroom 7?
212
00:08:23,504 --> 00:08:25,051
- Yes.
- My name's Cody.
213
00:08:25,251 --> 00:08:26,598
I'm your smartnician.
214
00:08:26,798 --> 00:08:28,592
You're having
some Intelliproblems
215
00:08:28,792 --> 00:08:29,852
with your astute links?
216
00:08:30,052 --> 00:08:31,512
Yeah, a student's trying
to make an appointment
217
00:08:31,712 --> 00:08:33,105
to see the principal, mkay?
218
00:08:33,305 --> 00:08:34,481
Uh-huh, well,
here's the problem.
219
00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:36,666
Your smart names
aren't Intelligrated.
220
00:08:36,866 --> 00:08:38,697
- Oh, I see.
- If you want to have
221
00:08:38,897 --> 00:08:40,529
those Intelligrated
with Easylink,
222
00:08:40,729 --> 00:08:43,815
you might want to upgrade your
system to the silver package.
223
00:08:44,015 --> 00:08:46,235
I needed the silver package?
Mkay, mkay.
224
00:08:46,435 --> 00:08:47,244
Can we do that?
225
00:08:47,444 --> 00:08:50,948
Let me call my supervisor
on the Intelliphone.
226
00:08:53,951 --> 00:08:56,337
Hey, Ike.
227
00:08:56,537 --> 00:08:59,673
Get out of my room, Kyle.
I'm playing trucks!
228
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:02,025
Ike, I'm sorry, but I couldn't
get us out of school Friday.
229
00:09:02,225 --> 00:09:04,378
I can't take you
to Yo Gabba Gabba! Live!
230
00:09:04,578 --> 00:09:06,430
- You promised.
231
00:09:06,630 --> 00:09:08,490
I couldn't get in
to see the principal, Ike.
232
00:09:08,690 --> 00:09:10,351
What am I supposed to do,
go see it myself?
233
00:09:10,551 --> 00:09:12,844
I'm a little baby. Who's gonna
hold my fucking hand?
234
00:09:13,044 --> 00:09:14,646
You don't give a shit
about how I feel.
235
00:09:14,846 --> 00:09:16,873
- Ike, I do. I just-
- You love pushing me around.
236
00:09:17,073 --> 00:09:19,572
Is that what you want to do,
Kyle, kick the baby?
237
00:09:19,772 --> 00:09:22,271
I'm ready, bro.
Come on, Kyle, kick the baby.
238
00:09:22,471 --> 00:09:24,481
Come on, bro,
kick the fucking baby.
239
00:09:24,681 --> 00:09:26,483
Let's see you try it, wuss!
240
00:09:32,406 --> 00:09:34,933
- Don't bite people
241
00:09:35,133 --> 00:09:37,461
Don't ever bite people
242
00:09:37,661 --> 00:09:39,834
Hey, Muno,
what should we do now?
243
00:09:40,034 --> 00:09:42,207
- Let's play a cool, cool trick.
244
00:09:42,407 --> 00:09:43,300
- All right!
245
00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:47,421
Who out in the audience has
a cool, cool trick to show us?
246
00:09:47,621 --> 00:09:50,215
What's your name, little boy?
247
00:09:50,415 --> 00:09:51,725
- My name is Ryan.
248
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:55,020
And what is
your cool, cool trick, Ryan?
249
00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:58,307
My cool, cool trick is
that I can jump in the air.
250
00:09:58,507 --> 00:10:00,067
- Yay!
- Oh!
251
00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:01,360
- All right, Ryan.
252
00:10:01,560 --> 00:10:04,313
Let's see you jump in the air.
253
00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:07,366
Way to go, Ryan! All right!
254
00:10:07,566 --> 00:10:10,235
And what's your name,
little boy'?
255
00:10:10,435 --> 00:10:11,412
- Ike Broflovski.
256
00:10:11,612 --> 00:10:12,913
- Do you have a cool trick?
257
00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:16,700
Yeah, for my cool, cool trick,
I'm gonna tame Foofa's strange.
258
00:10:16,900 --> 00:10:17,835
- Tame a what?
259
00:10:18,035 --> 00:10:20,746
I can tame
Foofa's strange, bro.
260
00:10:20,946 --> 00:10:22,673
- Uh...all right.
261
00:10:22,873 --> 00:10:27,336
Let's see our friend Ike
tame Foofa's strange!
262
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:29,263
- Ike, no, stop!
263
00:10:29,463 --> 00:10:31,098
Oh, I see,
you're actually-
264
00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:33,517
Wait! Oh, my God!
What are you doing?
265
00:10:33,717 --> 00:10:36,637
No, no, no!
What are you doing to Foofa? No!
266
00:10:36,837 --> 00:10:38,439
Now you listen here, little boy.
267
00:10:38,639 --> 00:10:41,600
It is never okay to take off
your clothes
268
00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:43,277
and grind on another person.
269
00:10:43,477 --> 00:10:45,529
- No, that's wrong!
- Don't do it!
270
00:10:45,729 --> 00:10:47,731
We're so sorry. Please forgive
my little brother.
271
00:10:47,931 --> 00:10:48,907
He's going through puberty.
272
00:10:49,107 --> 00:10:50,701
A little young for that,
isn't he?
273
00:10:50,901 --> 00:10:53,136
- That's what I thought.
- This is stupid, bro.
274
00:10:53,336 --> 00:10:55,572
Foofa shouldn't be limiting
herself to little kids.
275
00:10:55,772 --> 00:10:58,083
She's fucking fine, dude.
276
00:10:58,283 --> 00:11:01,119
What you did
was very traumatic for Foofa.
277
00:11:01,319 --> 00:11:03,434
Isn't that right, Foofa?
278
00:11:03,634 --> 00:11:05,749
Foofa?
- He's right, Plex.
279
00:11:05,949 --> 00:11:06,967
We're getting older.
280
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:08,752
I don't want to do
the little-kid thing
281
00:11:08,952 --> 00:11:09,720
the rest of my life.
282
00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:11,513
- Foofa, what you talking about?
283
00:11:11,713 --> 00:11:14,553
It's time for us to start
playing to older people.
284
00:11:14,753 --> 00:11:17,594
Maybe we need to be edgier,
have a little sex appeal.
285
00:11:17,794 --> 00:11:19,646
- Foofa, no!
- I'm an artist.
286
00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:22,891
And if all I ever do is play
to kids, then I'll be a joke.
287
00:11:23,091 --> 00:11:24,351
I have to move on.
288
00:11:27,062 --> 00:11:31,233
Oh, God, what has this
little boy done?
289
00:11:32,943 --> 00:11:34,620
I try not to think
about it, Rick.
290
00:11:34,820 --> 00:11:37,239
I try to just forget about it
and then move on, but I can't.
291
00:11:37,439 --> 00:11:40,042
I mean, she queefed
right in my face.
292
00:11:40,242 --> 00:11:42,769
Have you and your wife seen
a therapist together?
293
00:11:42,969 --> 00:11:45,196
Yes, we went, but I just can't
erase the memory
294
00:11:45,396 --> 00:11:47,624
of my helpless face
being queefed on like that.
295
00:11:47,824 --> 00:11:49,426
Who's to say
she won't do it again?
296
00:11:49,626 --> 00:11:51,211
Don't you think this has
something to do
297
00:11:51,411 --> 00:11:52,221
with your new job?
298
00:11:52,421 --> 00:11:54,464
- What do you mean?
- There's more to this, Terry.
299
00:11:54,664 --> 00:11:55,966
A lady never queefs
in her lord's face
300
00:11:56,166 --> 00:11:57,392
without some major cause.
301
00:11:57,592 --> 00:11:59,144
You started as
the Canadian Minister of Health,
302
00:11:59,344 --> 00:12:01,096
and three months later,
your wife queefed in your face.
303
00:12:01,296 --> 00:12:02,022
There's a connection.
304
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:03,273
I took the job to try
and make
305
00:12:03,473 --> 00:12:04,775
Canada's
health care system better.
306
00:12:04,975 --> 00:12:06,985
What could that have to do
with your wife?
307
00:12:07,185 --> 00:12:09,646
Terry, I'm your friend,
and I'm not just your friend.
308
00:12:09,846 --> 00:12:11,240
I'm also your buddy.
- Thanks, guy.
309
00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:13,842
And I'm telling you there's
more to this than you think,
310
00:12:14,042 --> 00:12:16,445
and if you want to save
your marriage and your face,
311
00:12:16,645 --> 00:12:18,914
you need to figure it out quick.
312
00:12:19,114 --> 00:12:22,325
Mr. Mackey, so far,
the school has spent
313
00:12:22,525 --> 00:12:26,547
$22,000
on the Intellilink system,
314
00:12:26,747 --> 00:12:30,292
and so far, it's been
an unmitigated disaster.
315
00:12:30,492 --> 00:12:31,426
Yeah, but, see,
the problem is
316
00:12:31,626 --> 00:12:33,178
not everyone
is signed on to it yet.
317
00:12:33,378 --> 00:12:36,381
They can't sign on to it,
because every time they try,
318
00:12:36,581 --> 00:12:37,933
they make the sprinklers go off.
319
00:12:38,133 --> 00:12:42,053
I know that Intellilink
has had some hiccups, okay?
320
00:12:42,253 --> 00:12:44,848
But I've hired
a new faculty member
321
00:12:45,048 --> 00:12:46,275
whose sole responsibility
322
00:12:46,475 --> 00:12:48,810
will be to oversee
the Intellilink system
323
00:12:49,010 --> 00:12:50,988
and make sure it runs smoothly.
324
00:12:51,188 --> 00:12:53,615
I want you all to meet
Pat Conners.
325
00:12:53,815 --> 00:12:56,051
- Hello, everyone.
- Don't hello us, Pat!
326
00:12:56,251 --> 00:12:58,487
This system that you're
responsible for now
327
00:12:58,687 --> 00:12:59,371
isn't working out.
328
00:12:59,571 --> 00:13:02,015
So what the hell
are you gonna do about it?
329
00:13:02,215 --> 00:13:04,505
Oh, well, I'm just sort of
getting acclimated
330
00:13:04,705 --> 00:13:06,795
to the situation, and-
- Getting acclimated?
331
00:13:06,995 --> 00:13:09,206
Do you know how much money
we wasted on this thing?
332
00:13:09,406 --> 00:13:11,425
How about you take
some damn responsibility?
333
00:13:11,625 --> 00:13:14,586
Get the hell out of here, Pat!
You're fired! Get out!
334
00:13:17,923 --> 00:13:21,284
Well, how the hell are we gonna
clean up Pat's mess?
335
00:13:21,484 --> 00:13:24,646
I guess-I don't know.
I guess we got no choice, mkay?
336
00:13:24,846 --> 00:13:27,641
We're just gonna need to upgrade
to the Intellilink gold package.
337
00:13:27,841 --> 00:13:29,985
- Oh, no.
- It's a $10,000 upgrade,
338
00:13:30,185 --> 00:13:32,321
but it should clean up
all of Pat's mistakes.
339
00:13:32,521 --> 00:13:36,650
Mr. Mackey, let's be clear.
Intellilink was your idea.
340
00:13:36,850 --> 00:13:38,610
You should just admit
it was a bad one
341
00:13:38,810 --> 00:13:40,037
and stop being so defensive.
342
00:13:40,237 --> 00:13:42,197
Well, it's good to be
a little defensive
343
00:13:42,397 --> 00:13:43,665
around you, Miles, mkay?
344
00:13:43,865 --> 00:13:47,327
Let's not forget your wife
died of an "accident"
345
00:13:47,527 --> 00:13:50,622
while you were "drinking"
on a "hike."
346
00:13:50,822 --> 00:13:52,174
"Mkay"?
347
00:13:52,374 --> 00:13:55,126
- Hey, now listen here-
- No, now you listen to me!
348
00:13:55,326 --> 00:13:56,720
Intellilink is a great idea,
349
00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:59,381
and we just need
the Goddamn gold package!
350
00:13:59,581 --> 00:14:00,724
We are doubling down!
351
00:14:00,924 --> 00:14:03,134
You're watching
E! Entertainment News.
352
00:14:03,334 --> 00:14:03,977
God knows why.
353
00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:07,055
She's all grown up,
and she wants you to know it.
354
00:14:07,255 --> 00:14:09,358
From kid-show star
to sex symbol,
355
00:14:09,558 --> 00:14:12,527
Yo Gabba Gabba's! Foofa
is ready to rock.
356
00:14:12,727 --> 00:14:15,689
She's been seen out partying,
photographed smoking pot,
357
00:14:15,889 --> 00:14:18,567
and now Foofa has announced
a raunchy performance
358
00:14:18,767 --> 00:14:21,161
on the MTV Video Music Awards.
359
00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:23,655
Foofa's new manager claims
the MTV performance
360
00:14:23,855 --> 00:14:25,624
will be one
for the record books.
361
00:14:25,824 --> 00:14:27,376
Foofa's got
that nice shaved strange
362
00:14:27,576 --> 00:14:30,036
that you just want to get in
and tame the second you see it.
363
00:14:30,236 --> 00:14:32,831
The Video Awards
are at 8:00 p.m. tomorrow.
364
00:14:33,031 --> 00:14:34,645
- Oh, this is so exciting.
365
00:14:34,845 --> 00:14:36,459
- Told you it'd go over well.
366
00:14:39,129 --> 00:14:41,381
Excuse me,
but Ike has homework
367
00:14:41,581 --> 00:14:42,349
he's supposed to be doing.
368
00:14:42,549 --> 00:14:44,805
Shut up, Kyle!
Just ignore my little brother.
369
00:14:45,005 --> 00:14:46,784
I'm your big brother, Ike!
370
00:14:46,984 --> 00:14:48,763
- Answer the door, twerp!
371
00:14:52,976 --> 00:14:54,277
- Can I talk to you?
372
00:14:54,477 --> 00:14:55,937
- I'm sorry, but right now-
373
00:14:56,137 --> 00:14:56,738
- Foofa!
374
00:14:56,938 --> 00:14:58,485
- There she is!
- Hey!
375
00:14:58,685 --> 00:15:00,033
- Foofa, what is this
376
00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:03,028
about you going
on the MTV Video Awards?
377
00:15:03,228 --> 00:15:05,122
- I'm done being a kiddie star.
378
00:15:05,322 --> 00:15:08,408
Foofa, you don't have to show
your strange
379
00:15:08,608 --> 00:15:09,584
to get attention.
380
00:15:09,784 --> 00:15:11,995
You just don't get it
'cause you're a robot, Plex.
381
00:15:12,195 --> 00:15:14,005
All right,
you won't listen to us,
382
00:15:14,205 --> 00:15:16,791
but maybe you'll listen
to our special guest,
383
00:15:16,991 --> 00:15:18,710
Sinead O'Connor!
384
00:15:18,910 --> 00:15:20,429
- Yay.
- Rah rah!
385
00:15:20,629 --> 00:15:22,222
Don't do it, Foofa.
386
00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:25,258
Don't sell out your strange
to those corporate bastards.
387
00:15:25,458 --> 00:15:27,030
Ah, screw off,
Sinead O'Connor.
388
00:15:27,230 --> 00:15:29,001
No one gives a crap about you.
389
00:15:29,201 --> 00:15:30,946
Don't show your strange
on TV
390
00:15:31,146 --> 00:15:32,691
- Don't show your strange
391
00:15:32,891 --> 00:15:34,392
Your strange
is for your husband
392
00:15:34,592 --> 00:15:36,528
Not for all the world to see
393
00:15:36,728 --> 00:15:38,484
Don't show your strange
on TV
394
00:15:38,684 --> 00:15:40,440
I'm looking
for a boyfriend
395
00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:41,992
Looking for a boyfriend
396
00:15:42,192 --> 00:15:43,902
Will you get
out of my living room, please?
397
00:15:45,070 --> 00:15:45,996
Hello.
398
00:15:46,196 --> 00:15:49,282
Have you ever had someone
you love queef in your face?
399
00:15:49,482 --> 00:15:50,834
- What?
- I'm sorry.
400
00:15:51,034 --> 00:15:52,936
I'm calling everyone in
the Canadian health care system
401
00:15:53,136 --> 00:15:55,447
to find out if they're pleased
with their health care.
402
00:15:55,647 --> 00:15:57,557
Is this Ike Broflovski?
- No, this is his brother.
403
00:15:57,757 --> 00:15:59,468
Your brother receives
his medication from us,
404
00:15:59,668 --> 00:16:02,170
and we just want to be sure
he's satisfied with the service.
405
00:16:02,370 --> 00:16:06,341
Satisfied with-
Wait a minute. What medication?
406
00:16:12,263 --> 00:16:13,899
- Before this meeting continues,
407
00:16:14,099 --> 00:16:16,810
I should have you be aware
that my face has tested positive
408
00:16:17,010 --> 00:16:18,520
for queefy sauce.
409
00:16:19,813 --> 00:16:21,360
I'm sorry,
but I don't really care.
410
00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:22,908
I just want to know
what medication
411
00:16:23,108 --> 00:16:25,076
my little brother has been
getting from you and why.
412
00:16:25,276 --> 00:16:27,654
People all over the world get
their medication from Canada.
413
00:16:27,854 --> 00:16:29,406
Yeah, but something is wrong
with my brother,
414
00:16:29,606 --> 00:16:30,699
and it might be your fault.
415
00:16:30,899 --> 00:16:31,541
- That's impossible.
416
00:16:31,741 --> 00:16:33,618
The Canadian health care
system is completely integrated
417
00:16:33,818 --> 00:16:36,037
and streamlined
with Intellilink.
418
00:16:36,237 --> 00:16:38,143
You use Intellilink'?
Oh, my God!
419
00:16:38,343 --> 00:16:40,250
Will you check
his records, please?
420
00:16:40,450 --> 00:16:41,301
- Sure, no problem.
421
00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:44,379
Now, what is your brother's
Canadian Medicare smart name?
422
00:16:44,579 --> 00:16:46,130
- I don't know.
423
00:16:46,330 --> 00:16:47,682
Try Strange Tamer.
424
00:16:47,882 --> 00:16:50,719
Strange...Tamer.
425
00:16:52,721 --> 00:16:53,913
Ah, yep, there it is.
426
00:16:54,113 --> 00:16:55,106
Ah, yes, here we go.
427
00:16:55,306 --> 00:16:57,917
I see your little brother
has a constipation problem
428
00:16:58,117 --> 00:17:00,729
and has been taking
a daily laxative since last May.
429
00:17:00,929 --> 00:17:02,564
Ah, yes, I'm afraid Intellilink
mixed that up,
430
00:17:02,764 --> 00:17:03,782
and your brother
has been receiving
431
00:17:03,982 --> 00:17:05,692
large doses of hormones
that were supposed to go
432
00:17:05,892 --> 00:17:07,244
to an athlete in the Northeast.
433
00:17:07,444 --> 00:17:09,362
Are you saying that Ike
has been given regular doses
434
00:17:09,562 --> 00:17:11,614
of hormones because
of an Intellilink screwup?
435
00:17:11,814 --> 00:17:13,375
- Yes, that's right.
- That system
436
00:17:13,575 --> 00:17:16,019
is totally screwed up and does
nothing but wreak havoc!
437
00:17:16,219 --> 00:17:18,663
It's fine! It works fine!
Just give it some time!
438
00:17:18,863 --> 00:17:20,457
God, you sound like my wife.
439
00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:22,968
My-my wife.
440
00:17:23,168 --> 00:17:25,153
That must be it.
Don't you see, Terry?
441
00:17:25,353 --> 00:17:26,996
That health care
integration system
442
00:17:27,196 --> 00:17:28,640
has made you defensive
and hostile,
443
00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:31,492
and your wife's been
putting up with it.
444
00:17:31,692 --> 00:17:34,345
And that's why she queefed
in my face.
445
00:17:34,545 --> 00:17:36,147
Excuse me!
If my little brother
446
00:17:36,347 --> 00:17:38,687
has been getting
some athlete's hormones,
447
00:17:38,887 --> 00:17:41,521
then who has been getting
Ike's medication?
448
00:17:41,721 --> 00:17:43,814
Tom Brady
looking sluggish again today.
449
00:17:44,014 --> 00:17:45,907
Not sure what his problem
has been lately.
450
00:17:46,107 --> 00:17:48,359
Yeah, definitely not looking
as strong and virile
451
00:17:48,559 --> 00:17:49,828
as he has in the past.
452
00:17:50,028 --> 00:17:55,700
Hut, hut, hut, hut, hut hut...
453
00:17:55,900 --> 00:17:58,461
Aah! Hike!
454
00:17:58,661 --> 00:18:00,130
- Brady steps back to pass.
455
00:18:00,330 --> 00:18:02,211
He's got an open man
at the 40-yard line.
456
00:18:02,411 --> 00:18:04,292
And whatever is wrong
with Tom Brady
457
00:18:04,492 --> 00:18:06,377
just seems to be getting worse.
458
00:18:06,577 --> 00:18:07,846
Go, Broncos.
459
00:18:08,046 --> 00:18:10,891
Oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh
460
00:18:11,091 --> 00:18:14,344
Caught up in the action,
I've been looking out for you
461
00:18:14,544 --> 00:18:15,854
Oh-
462
00:18:16,054 --> 00:18:16,897
- Okay, there we go.
463
00:18:17,097 --> 00:18:18,727
Your students can buy
school lunches now,
464
00:18:18,927 --> 00:18:20,977
but they won't be able
to get grades.
465
00:18:21,177 --> 00:18:22,999
No! They have to be able
to get grades.
466
00:18:23,199 --> 00:18:24,907
Well, what you
probably want to do
467
00:18:25,107 --> 00:18:27,070
is upgrade
to Intellilink platinum.
468
00:18:27,270 --> 00:18:29,234
No!
There's no more upgrading, mkay?
469
00:18:29,434 --> 00:18:31,119
I just want this to work.
470
00:18:31,319 --> 00:18:33,496
What exactly
do you mean by "work"?
471
00:18:33,696 --> 00:18:35,824
I just want students to be
able to make appointments
472
00:18:36,024 --> 00:18:36,833
to see the counselor,
473
00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:38,376
be able to see the school nurse
474
00:18:38,576 --> 00:18:41,020
in the easiest,
most streamlined fashion!
475
00:18:41,220 --> 00:18:43,465
Oh, you want
the centurion package.
476
00:18:43,665 --> 00:18:45,817
That's where we take all
the Intellilink panels
477
00:18:46,017 --> 00:18:47,969
and we rip them off the walls
and we burn them.
478
00:18:48,169 --> 00:18:50,839
Then we wipe all the computers
of Intellilink software,
479
00:18:51,039 --> 00:18:52,924
and you never deal
with us again.
480
00:18:55,051 --> 00:18:57,428
All right, upgrade me
to the centurion package
481
00:18:57,628 --> 00:18:58,721
- Right away.
482
00:19:05,854 --> 00:19:07,939
All right, sir,
here's a clipboard you can use
483
00:19:08,139 --> 00:19:09,240
for students to sign up
for counseling,
484
00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:12,610
and I want to thank you
for choosing Intellilink.
485
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:19,709
The MTV Video Music Awards
will be back
486
00:19:19,909 --> 00:19:22,620
with a performance
from Yo Gabba Gabba's! Foofa,
487
00:19:22,820 --> 00:19:25,915
singing Pound My Sweet Strange.
488
00:19:26,115 --> 00:19:27,884
- Two minutes, Foofa.
489
00:19:28,084 --> 00:19:30,503
Thanks.
Oh, my, here we go.
490
00:19:30,703 --> 00:19:32,764
- Ike, wait!
491
00:19:32,964 --> 00:19:33,890
- Get out of here, dude!
492
00:19:34,090 --> 00:19:36,759
Ike, there's been a mistake.
You don't understand.
493
00:19:36,959 --> 00:19:38,594
No, you
don't understand, wuss.
494
00:19:38,794 --> 00:19:40,430
Why can't you
just let me grow up?
495
00:19:40,630 --> 00:19:42,065
Why do you keep harassing me?
496
00:19:42,265 --> 00:19:44,809
Because you're my little
brother, God damn it,
497
00:19:45,009 --> 00:19:47,696
and even when I'm 50
and you're 45,
498
00:19:47,896 --> 00:19:49,948
you're still gonna be
my little brother.
499
00:19:50,148 --> 00:19:52,446
All right, y'all, here comes
our next big act.
500
00:19:52,646 --> 00:19:54,744
Ike, I don't care
if you want to grow up.
501
00:19:54,944 --> 00:19:57,221
I just want to be
by your side while you do it.
502
00:19:57,421 --> 00:19:59,699
Give it up
for the sexiest bitch on Earth.
503
00:19:59,899 --> 00:20:02,293
It's Foofa!
504
00:20:02,493 --> 00:20:04,291
Come on, Ike.
Ike?
505
00:20:04,491 --> 00:20:06,089
- He's right, Foof.
506
00:20:06,289 --> 00:20:07,716
Part of growing up
is rebelling,
507
00:20:07,916 --> 00:20:10,460
but I'm gonna get older
whether I like it or not.
508
00:20:10,660 --> 00:20:11,386
So why push it?
509
00:20:11,586 --> 00:20:15,006
I think I'm just gonna let it
happen naturally.
510
00:20:15,206 --> 00:20:17,717
- Yay!
- Yay!
511
00:20:17,917 --> 00:20:19,010
- Foofa?
512
00:20:26,851 --> 00:20:28,148
- Come on, come on
513
00:20:28,348 --> 00:20:29,446
Pound my strange
514
00:20:29,646 --> 00:20:31,898
Pound it like this,
pound it like that
515
00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:38,738
- It was a mistake.
516
00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:39,748
- What?
517
00:20:39,948 --> 00:20:41,541
Trying to reform
Canada's health care system
518
00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:43,851
and being too stubborn to admit
that it wasn't working.
519
00:20:44,051 --> 00:20:46,162
Even when my wife said
the system was too complicated,
520
00:20:46,362 --> 00:20:47,547
I wouldn't listen.
521
00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:50,667
Oh, Terry, I was just trying
to get your attention.
522
00:20:50,867 --> 00:20:52,585
I'm sorry I queefed
in your face.
523
00:20:52,785 --> 00:20:53,845
- I deserved it.
524
00:20:54,045 --> 00:20:55,430
Anyone who thinks streamlining
health care
525
00:20:55,630 --> 00:20:57,715
into an integrated computer
system would go smoothly
526
00:20:57,915 --> 00:21:00,468
deserves a giant queef
in their face.
527
00:21:00,668 --> 00:21:02,187
Thank you, my lady.
528
00:21:02,387 --> 00:21:04,272
So Intellilink is gone,
my lord?
529
00:21:04,472 --> 00:21:06,415
Yes, I've upgraded
to the gold package.
530
00:21:06,615 --> 00:21:08,359
Within no time,
Canadians everywhere
531
00:21:08,559 --> 00:21:10,353
will be getting
their correct medications
532
00:21:10,553 --> 00:21:12,355
and going back to normal.
533
00:21:23,366 --> 00:21:24,834
Kyle!
534
00:21:25,034 --> 00:21:27,545
It's Dora the Explorer!
535
00:21:27,745 --> 00:21:29,789
Come on,
let's climb the mountain.
536
00:21:29,989 --> 00:21:30,799
- It sure is!
537
00:21:30,999 --> 00:21:32,583
You want me
to watch it with you, Ike?
538
00:21:32,783 --> 00:21:34,052
- Yay!
539
00:21:34,252 --> 00:21:35,804
We made it
all the way to the top.
540
00:21:36,004 --> 00:21:38,264
Oh, man,
I wouldn't mind hitting that.
541
00:21:38,464 --> 00:21:42,385
I bet she's got that hot
Puerto Rican strange.
542
00:21:42,585 --> 00:21:44,595
- Yeah, I bet she does.
543
00:21:44,795 --> 00:21:45,930
- Yay!
544
00:21:46,305 --> 00:22:46,860
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